Shades Of Thirteen

A Try II

Life was living herself on her own terms. I don't recall anything exciting was happening then. D was busy with her studies (try to survive with Bengali Literature). Maa with her job & fight for managing us & I was with my heartache.

I had passed and promoted to class X, D was preparing for her boards. My school days were going good, I didn't see Priyam after that day, maybe we both didn't intended to see each other. I was trying hard to focus on my studies, though trying was enough hard for me those days, still I was trying. Every night Papa used to do some new stunts, some day he comes too late, some day he fell unconscious (excessively drunk) at the gate, Maa with her two daughters used to bring him home back (dragging), some nights we need to search him as he didn't come home & some nights he come early evening & all his dramas he used to continue till midnight. I was too tired with this cursed life. We both sisters started feeling why our life is so bad, why can't we also be happy like our friends, why our father is a mess, why don't we have money ? But we never got answers to any of these questions.

No good food, no good clothes, not a good house (broken terrace, water used to drip inside during rains and Maa used cook with an umbrella) and not even a good father. Only Maa was the hope. One thing we were blessed with were trees and plants. In our home we had variety of trees (fruits & flowers) Papa had planted them all, he was very good in gardening. All the trees bloomed so nicely, they gave seasonal flowers and fruits every year and they were the only living thing in our home which looked happy and prosperous & I used to maintained them. Every single  family from our neighborhood used to come for flower in the morning & I used to give flowers to everyone. I was arranging and distributing equal flowers to every one whoever comes for it. We were the only family having various flowers (Pink lotus, Jasmine, Hibiscus, bougainvillea flower Mogra and what not) in our garden. Everyday around 5 o'clock we all used to wake up and after breakfast we both sisters start studying if that day we don't have any coaching classes (most of the teachers gave us coaching without fees, knowing our family situations).

I used to do Pooja everyday. D was not good at Pooja or managing mandir or decorating it with flowers, but I loved playing with flowers and offering them to our Gurudev (Kulguru). I actually didn't understand the definition of God, for me God was - he will be hungry if I will not feed him, he'll feel cold if don't cover him with warm blankets or something. With whom I can speak anything anytime and he will listen. For me God was never something to be scared of or to treat him separately from humans, (till day this thinking have not changed much).

Anyways after breakfast, bathing, puja and studying we both sisters used to stand in-front of Maa like two mannequins holding our school uniforms (Saree). We both used to wait for Maa when she will help us wear that. D & Me both didn't know how to wear a saree those days, then after saree, we start fighting who's hair Maa will tie first & on that also I did fight that Maa tied D's hair nicely because Maa loves her much. D also didn't leave a single chance to poke me saying Maa loves her more than me as I am not her own child and she bought me from a dustbin. Hearing that I am not my mother's own child, I used to burst out like a volcano and then everyday I used to scratch and bite and kick D (with anger) and daily we used to fight.

After school we both sisters used to go to Lamba Bari(as we were not allowed to stay alone at home) & I had never used my own hands for eating, either Granny or Maa or D used to feed me always, then Maami joined this group too. I used to sleep or study with Maami daily. She was the person whom I loved unconditionally and I felt very cosy and safe with her.

Maa used to pick us up from Lamba Bari after her office hours and we usually went home walking or sometime by rikshaw (paddled cycles). While coming back sometime Boby caught us & started his pointless stories, we used to  ignore him and continue our walking. Still that man had no shame that not to disturb people when they're ignoring you!