Sunsun au "Love at first sight [my idol, my lover]"

Chapter 10: The Choice

The days passed slowly for Alli, each one heavier than the last. The distance between him and Akinoa had grown into a chasm that felt impossible to cross, and the uncertainty of his relationship with Zildjian weighed on him like a storm cloud that wouldn't break. He was stuck — trapped between two people who meant everything to him, yet pulling him in opposite directions.

Sitting by the window in his room, Alli stared out at the city below, lost in thought. His phone lay on the bed beside him, messages from both Zildjian and Akinoa unread. He couldn't bring himself to answer either of them — not yet. Not until he had figured out what he really wanted.

I can't keep avoiding this forever, Alli thought, his chest tightening. I have to make a choice.

Akinoa's Distance

At school, Akinoa had become a ghost of the friend Alli once knew. He still came to class, still sat at their usual table during lunch, but the warmth and laughter that had once filled their friendship was gone. Alli could feel the weight of Akinoa's unspoken hurt every time they were in the same room, and it tore at him.

One afternoon, after weeks of silence between them, Alli finally worked up the courage to approach Akinoa. He found him sitting alone in the library, a book open in front of him, but his eyes were far away.

"Noa," Alli said softly, sliding into the seat across from him.

Akinoa looked up, his expression guarded. "Hey."

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The air between them was thick with tension, and Alli's heart raced as he struggled to find the right words.

"I miss you," Alli said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "I miss us."

Akinoa's eyes softened, but the hurt still lingered in his gaze. "I miss us too," he admitted. "But things are different now, Alli. You made your choice."

Alli flinched at the words, guilt gnawing at his chest. "I haven't made a choice. I'm still... I don't know what to do."

Akinoa sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Alli, I can't keep waiting for you to figure things out. It hurts too much. I thought telling you how I felt would make things better, but now... I don't know. Maybe I was wrong."

Alli's heart ached at Akinoa's words. He hated seeing his friend in pain, and he hated even more that he was the cause of it. But as much as he cared about Akinoa, his feelings for Zildjian were undeniable.

"I'm sorry, Noa," Alli whispered, his voice trembling. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know," Alli said quietly, looking down at the table. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

Zildjian's Concern

Later that evening, Alli met up with Zildjian at the café. It had become their safe space — a place where they could be themselves without the pressures of school or the rumors that surrounded them. But tonight, Alli's heart was heavy, and Zildjian noticed the shift in his demeanor almost immediately.

"You've been quiet lately," Zildjain said gently, his eyes searching Alli's face for answers. "Is everything okay?"

Alli hesitated, unsure of how to put his feelings into words. "It's just... a lot," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Noa, you... everything. I don't know what to do."

Zildjian reached across the table, gently taking Alli's hand in his. "You don't have to figure it all out right now, Alli. But I need to know where you stand. I don't want to keep dragging this out if you're not ready for it."

Alli's chest tightened at Zildjian's words. He knew Zildjian was right — he couldn't keep avoiding the issue forever. But the thought of losing Akinoa as a friend, or of hurting Zildjian by pulling away, terrified him.

"I... I don't want to hurt anyone," Alli whispered, his voice shaking. "But I don't want to lose you either."

Zildjian's expression softened, and he squeezed Alli's hand gently. "You won't lose me, Alli. But you have to be honest with yourself about what you want. And you have to be ready to deal with the consequences of that decision."

Alli's Decision

That night, as Alli lay in bed, his thoughts raced. He replayed the conversations he'd had with both Akinoa and Zildjian, the weight of their words pressing heavily on his heart. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding this — he had to make a decision.

What do I really want? Alli asked himself, staring up at the ceiling. He thought of Akinoa, of their years of friendship, the laughter and shared memories. But he also thought of Zildjian — the warmth of his smile, the way he made Alli feel seen and valued.

As much as he cared about Akinoa, Alli knew that his feelings for Zildjian were deeper than friendship. He couldn't deny the connection they had, and he couldn't pretend that he didn't want to see where it could go.

With a heavy heart, Alli picked up his phone and sent a message to Akinoa.

Alli: Noa, can we meet tomorrow? I need to talk to you.

He hit send, his chest tight with anxiety. He knew this conversation wouldn't be easy, but it was necessary. He couldn't keep stringing Akinoa along, and he couldn't keep denying his feelings for Zildjian.

The Final Confrontation

The next day, Alli met Akinoa at the park, the same spot where they had shared so many memories over the years. But today, the air between them was thick with tension, and Alli's heart raced as he prepared himself for what he had to say.

"Noa," Sunoo began, his voice soft but steady. "I've thought a lot about everything, and I need to be honest with you. I care about you so much, but... my feelings for Zildjian are real. I can't pretend they're not."

Akinoa's face fell, and for a moment, Alli thought he might walk away. But instead, Akinoa sighed, his expression a mixture of hurt and acceptance.

"I figured," Akinoa said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "I knew you liked him. I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself."

"I'm so sorry, Noa," Alli said, his chest aching with guilt. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Akinoa shook his head, forcing a small, sad smile. "I know. It's not your fault. I just... I need some time, Alli. I need some space to figure things out."

Alli nodded, his heart heavy. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here if you ever want to talk."

Akinoa gave a small nod, then turned and walked away, leaving Alli standing alone in the park. As he watched his friend disappear into the distance, a wave of sadness washed over him. He had made his choice, but it didn't make the pain any easier to bear.

Later that night, Alli sat on the balcony of his apartment, the cool breeze brushing against his skin. He had made his choice, and while the road ahead was uncertain, he knew he had to trust in himself — and in Zildjian.

A message from Zildjian lit up his phone, and a small smile tugged at Alli's lips as he read it.

Zildjian: Hey, just checking in. I hope you're doing okay.

Alli's heart swelled with warmth as he typed out a reply.

Alli: I'm okay. Thanks for being patient with me. I'll see you tomorrow?

Zildjian: Always. 😊

As Alli set his phone down, he felt a sense of peace settle over him. It wouldn't be easy, but he was ready to move forward — with Zildjian by his side.