The hate between us

Chapter 30: Ella's Point of View

The next few weeks passed in a strange blur, like we were suspended in time—waiting for something to happen, but not knowing exactly what. Caleb and I had fallen into an unspoken rhythm, spending time together like nothing was wrong, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something *was* wrong.

It wasn't anything obvious—he was still there, still laughing with me, still kissing me like he always did. But there was a distance in his eyes, a kind of faraway look I hadn't seen before. It was subtle, but I felt it every time we were together, lingering like a shadow that neither of us could talk about.

At first, I tried to ignore it. I pushed the nagging feeling aside, convincing myself that maybe I was just overthinking things. After all, we were good together—better than we had ever been. We went out for dinners, had movie nights curled up on the couch, and on some nights, he'd just pull me into his arms without a word, and we'd lie there, wrapped up in each other's warmth.

But there was something unspoken between us. Something hanging over our heads, just out of reach.

---

One night, we went to this cozy little restaurant in town—a place Caleb had picked out, quiet and intimate. It was the kind of place where the lights were soft, the food simple, and the moments seemed to stretch out forever. For a while, everything felt normal. He held my hand across the table, his thumb lazily tracing circles on my skin, his eyes on mine like I was the only thing in the room.

But then, halfway through dinner, I caught him staring off into the distance. His expression was tight, as though something heavy was weighing on his mind. I waited for him to snap back into the moment, but he didn't. Not right away.

"Caleb?" I said softly, squeezing his hand.

He blinked, his gaze refocusing on me, and for a second, I saw something flicker in his eyes—guilt, maybe. But it was gone as quickly as it came.

"Yeah?" he said, his voice smooth, but there was a crack in it. I could hear it, even if he was trying to hide it.

"Where'd you go just now?" I asked, giving him a small smile, trying to make it sound light, but inside, my stomach was twisting.

He smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Nowhere. Just... thinking."

I wanted to push him, to ask what was really on his mind, but something in me hesitated. There was this wall between us, and every time I tried to climb it, it felt like he pulled back. So, instead, I let it go, swallowing the insecurity that had started to creep in.

"Okay," I said quietly, forcing another smile. "Just checking."

He squeezed my hand again, and we moved on, but the tension was still there, lurking beneath the surface.

---

Over the next few days, things felt... off. Caleb was still affectionate, still there in all the ways that mattered, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else more and more often. We'd be sitting on the couch watching a movie, and I'd catch him glancing at his phone, scrolling through emails, his face tight with something I couldn't quite place.

One evening, I caught a glimpse of his phone screen when he got a new email notification. I wasn't trying to snoop—it just happened. But what I saw made my heart skip a beat.

It was from a university. I didn't catch the full subject line, but I saw enough. *"Master's program abroad... Congratulations..."*

A cold knot formed in my stomach.

He hadn't mentioned anything about studying abroad. He hadn't mentioned anything about leaving.

But before I could say anything, he locked his phone and turned to me, his expression carefully neutral.