roommates • ellie williams au

16

Ellie went through the day and nobody noticed her hickies. Her last class was canceled so she could go home early. Jade still has a few more classes so Ellie has the dorm to herself. She makes her way to her dorm and sighs. She goes over to her guitar and starts to play. Ellie looked over to see Jade's door wide open. Many things ran through her mind as she stood up. I shouldn't go into her room were her thoughts as her footsteps got closer and closer to her door.

"I shouldn't" Ellie whispered to herself.

"But she would do the same to me so why not," Ellie said as she walked into Jade's room.

It was filled with books, manga, and video games. Posters of some of her favorite movies, TV shows, and artists. A cute nerdy room which made Ellie chuckle because it's so fitting for Jade to have a room like this. Ellie took a glance at a notebook and it definitely was Jade's journal. Ellie went and grabbed the book but before she could open it she heard a knock on the door. Ellie put down the journal and headed towards the front door. She opened it and saw Riley standing right in front of her.

"Riley, what are you doing here? I thought you already left for Boston." Ellie said shocked.

"Awe did you miss me that much? I decided to stay here a little longer and spend Thanksgiving break with you so we can figure out us." Riley said.

"Wait are you serious right now," Ellie said in disbelief.

"Yes, and I might be willing to live out here if you want to give it a shot," Riley said stepping closer.

"Really," Ellie said with a small smile.

"Really," Riley said kissing her.

Ellie then stepped away for her.

"Riley I need to think about this," Ellie said.

"What do you mean," Riley said confused.

"I have feelings for someone else and I need to know where things could go with her. I just don't want to get your hopes up." Ellie said truthfully.

"Is it Jade? Your roommate." Riley sighed.

"Yes," Ellie said.

"Okay," Riley said.

"Okay??." Ellie stated confused.

"Ellie I've waited years to be with you I can wait a little longer and I have a feeling it won't be that long. I'll head back to Boston and give me your answer by Thanksgiving break and we'll figure it out then." Riley said placing her hand on Ellie's cheek.

"Alright thank you for understanding," Ellie said with a small smile.

"You're my best friend Ellie. I could never be mad at you for how you feel. But I will go." Riley said opening the door to see Jade about to walk in.

"Oh hey," Jade said awkwardly.

"Hey sorry, I was just leaving," Riley said walking out.

Jade watched her leave then looked at Ellie who was fidgeting with her fingers.

"So what was up with that." Jade joked.

"Well if you want to know. Riley confessed to wanting to be with me and maybe moving out here." Ellie said.

"Wait what," Jade said stunned.

"Yep," Ellie said.

"What did you say," Jade said stepping closer towards Ellie.

"I said that I had feelings for someone. I had to figure that out before I started something with her." Ellie said stepping closer.

"And who could this person be?" Jade asked her heart pounding like a drum.

"Jade," Ellie said softly as she leaned in.

"It's always been you." She said kissing the woman.

Jade kissed back and the two held each other. It was deep and passionate. Butterflies fluttered through both of their stomachs and they never wanted this feeling to end. Pure bliss. Ellie then looked into Jade's eyes.

"I want to be with you. I want you to go to my soccer games, to study for our stupid science classes, and go on dates like the art museum that you love to go to, to be able to kiss you every day. To introduce you to Tommy and Maria and you could with your parents. To be my partner Jade." Ellie said.

Jade stepped back.

"I can't give you what you want Ellie. I can't take you to my family. I don't even know how to feel about all of this right now. We had sex and now you're wanting to be with me when we always couldn't stand each other." Jade said.

"I know you feel the same. I can see it in your eyes now. I never really paid attention till now because I was too focused on trying to hate you over loving you." Ellie said.

"You love me," Jade said.

"Shit I didn't mean it like- well actually yeah I do. But if we do start this I need you to be open with your parents. I can't pretend to be just some girl you know when I've known your parents since we were like what 10." Ellie said.

"Ellie I just can't. I don't want to be sent away." Jade said tears falling.

"Jade you won't be sent away, you have me and your friends. You're not a kid anymore." Ellie said trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry I just can't risk it," Jade said.

Ellie was heartbroken. Tears started to fall down her face as well.

"Fine." That was all Ellie said and she was gone.

Jade heard the front door slam shut and she broke down to her knees and sobbed. Why does she always self-sabotage? She was scared, no, terrified of her feelings for Ellie but she never knew that it would bring so much heartache.

"I'm such a coward." Jade cried to herself.

Jade called the one person who knew her so well. Her older sister Jayla.

"Hey, what's up sis," Jayla answered.

"Sis I don't know what to do," Jade said crying.

"Hey, what's going on? Are you okay" Jayla answered worried for her younger sister.

"I'm fine physically, mentally not so much." Jade said.

"What happened." Jayla sighed in relief.

Jade then explained the whole story as her sister listened.

"Well, it seems that you are in falling for Ellie if that's what you're telling me," Jayla stated as Jade sighed.

"I don't know but I just feel happy when it's me and her at times. She makes me feel a way that I have never felt for anyone ever." Jade said.

"That's love, honey. I felt the same way with my fiancé George and look at us now." Jayla said.

"Yeah, but your lover is socially acceptable in our family while mine is a disgrace and a sin," Jade stated.

"I know I'm sorry. But you're going to have to tell them eventually Jade. You are going to find that someone and don't you want mom to know at least." Jayla said.

"Yeah if they don't end up disowning me first. But it's too late Ellie doesn't want to be with me because I can't come out to Mom and Dad. What if they take me out of school or worse take my funds out for school." Jade said.

"Now that is just selfish and cowardly of you Jade." Jayla clicks her tongue.

"Ugh I know but you just don't understand." Jade sighed sitting on her bed.

"I may not understand since I'm not a lesbian but I know that giving up on someone you love over the fear of losing something I couldn't live with that. Sometimes you need to do what's right for you and your happiness if mom and dad don't like that then fuck them because I always got your back." Jayla said.

"Thanks, JJ I really needed that," Jade said.

"Okay well let me know if you need anything else okay? I love you J," Jayla said.

"I love you too bye," Jade said.

"Bye."

Jade hung up the phone and she soon fell asleep right after that.