La Novellina: beyond the helmet

Formula 4 - chapter 2: Imola, eagerness

The sound of engines revving is an adrenaline rush that sweeps through the paddock but, while the mechanics fine-tune the car and make final adjustments, Micky feels the weight of the upcoming season settling on her shoulders: seven Grand Prix, chances to prove her worth, but also seven seemingly insurmountable challenges...

Grand Prix 1: Imola

Friday:

The first free practice sessions do not go as hoped: the car doesn't respond as her wish and her feeling with the circuit feels distant, almost foreign... Every corner seems like a battle against herself rather than the clock...

Frustration mounts and, by the end of the day, she is far from the top positions...

Saturday:

In qualifying her anxiety takes over: an error comes at the worst possible time, in the last sector, just when she feels she found her rhythm...

She misses out on a good position, starting from the middle of the grid... The disappointment is immediate and heavy...

Sunday:

The first race is a disaster: the start is chaotic and she quickly lose ground... Despite her attempts to recover, the rhythm is not what she expected and she finish far from the points, with a deep sense of failure accompanying her through the weekend...

The second and third races follow the same pattern: errors, confusion and a profound sense of disappointment...

-

"What a disaster..." her father says, shaking his head, as soon as Micky jumps out the car...

"What happened out there? I can't understand how you managed to throw away all three races like that!"

She stays silent as she feels the nervousness growing inside her...

"I can't accept these performances! I watched you lose focus, miss braking points, get overtaken like you weren't even there!" he says, with his voice gets harsher.

She looks at him, straight in the eyes with anger and disappointment, but stays in silence again...

"You're not taking advantage of the opportunities you've been given. Maybe you're not ready for this level..." he says, shaking his head visibly disappointed.

A flame of anger ignites inside her and she grips the helmet so hard her knuckles turn white.

"If I had the support I needed, instead of constantly hearing what I did wrong, maybe things would be different!"

"Support? I've given you all the support possible! If you don't understand how important it is not to waste these chances, you're will not be the..."

She doesn't even let him finish speaking.

"That's the problem! For you, it's always about not wasting opportunities! I... I can't live like this, under the weight of your expectations! I'm not you!"

The tension is thick and a heavy silence falls between them...

Her father sighs, lowering his gaze.

"I only want what's best for you, but maybe you don't see it..."

"What you see as 'best' is never what I need" she only says and then she go inside the garage.

-

Marco finds Micky sitting beside the car, with her helmet between her hand.

"The first step isn't easy, I know, but you don't have to race against anyone but yourself. Remember, every race is an opportunity to learn!"

His words don't erase her disappointment but they open a door: maybe, just maybe, she needs more time to find her true potential...