The Heir of Promises

Chapter 1 - Odessa

Do you ever feel like disappearing? Running into the night and never returning to the life you once lived? I feel like that almost all the time now, some say it is unhealthy to think like that, that it will rot your brain and you will become corrupt. but it gives me a sense of something I cannot explain, it keeps me going. It has been four years since my brother, the Prince of Halsister, died tragically on the battlefield. I felt it that night, when he died, I felt the arrow go through his chest and through his full heart. A piece of me died with him, because I knew that he was dead and his wife lay next to me, soundly sleeping, waiting for her lover to return home. Sylvanna used to paint me pictures of her future with Lukas when they had only been dating for like two weeks, she would paint blue skies, and green grass with 3 little Lukas' running around. they had a treehouse, and a home in the forest to escape to when life as King and Queen became too rough, Sylvanna dreamt of me, having a happy family, and we would all rule the kingdom together, living life to the best of our abilities, she had Dreams, unlike me. and none of her dreams came true, only the nightmares that she would cry to me about at night. that he would die, that she would become a widow, she would mourn him for her whole life, and she would never forgive herself for letting him go. She blames herself, I do not know why, but she says if she had just told him not to go, to stay with her, he would still be alive today. I tried to tell her that none of this is her fault, that it was just an accident played out by a horrible person, but she never listened. After some time, I gave up trying to persuade her that this was not her fault, and over time she gradually pieced herself back together and she became partially whole again, I don't know how she did it, I have certainly not even pieced one bit of my old self back yet. The world expects me to just move on and become happy again, that if I swim in my sadness, I will become plagued with a feeling of selflessness that will never be repaired, you know what I said to that? I said Fuck off. You try losing a brother that was like a best friend, someone who always cared for you, stood up for you, became a figure everyone looked up to. You try feeling an arrow go through their heart. You listen to their wife cry and scream into the night at nothing for 3 weeks straight, you do all that and then come back and say that to me again.

My father has made a rule that I am not to ever leave the castle grounds, and that if I did, He would lock me away like a precious possession and I will never see the outside of my rooms four walls ever again. I took his threat seriously, because my father has never once put rules in place. But after Lukas, all he seems to know are rules. I have not seen my mother since the funeral, she locks herself away in her bedroom, she has become numb, a walking statue, it is like somebody has just ripped her mouth off her face, flipped it upside down, then put it back on and sewed it shut. That is how Sylvanna explained it at least. Because of my brother's death, Sylvanna is back to being my maid, and I have told her countless times to just run away, to find a life that she dreamt of, to build that treehouse, or that house in the forest. but she refuses every time, and her reason is because she must make sure I don't meet the same fate as her late husband. I sometimes sit on my balcony and look out to the city beyond the castle walls, it looks so dull now. It all looks grey, and nobody really laughs anymore. they don't speak about the prince unless it is talking about his death, even the birds have stopped their morning chirp, it is like every morning the world gives a moment of silence for the fallen Prince, and that makes me rage. not rage because the world won't move on, I rage because the world won't tell his story, he will forever be told as the future king who never sat on the throne, nobody would talk about his humour, or his charming appearance and personality, or his lover. They will only talk of the screaming widow whose bellows echoed through the streets, giving everyone nightmares day to day, which is what makes me rage, knowing that he will never have a full story, only a footnote in a bigger, more important person's life. We have made sure that Sylvanna is still apart of the family, she sleeps in Lukas' room and there is not one thing that has been changed or moved, the bed is still next to the window in his room, she keeps the same navy-blue sheets and the same patterned carpet. The room still smells like him, Sylvanna says that she often sprays his perfume around the air so she does not forget him, but I know she only does it so she can sleep peacefully at night, and I don't blame her for it. As promised by Lukas, Sylvanna has a snake enclosure in their room, Syl named him Altan which she says means 'Rebirth'. The city has slowly forgotten what I looked like, Sylvanna says that when she goes into the city, and says she is buying stuff for the princess, all they ask is if she still has those eyes that remind them of a black panther, perhaps it is better if they forget, it will definitely make my dreams come true, to disappear, for people to just remember me as a blur in the kingdoms history, but Sylvanna always gets mad at me for saying that, and everything really, but she is still my best friend and she stands by me and my decisions with all of the heart she has left.