HIS PRETENSE BRIDE

CHAPTER 46

Alexa's POV

My head hurts but so does my heart.

I keep trying to ease off the pain I'm feeling by rubbing my chest repeatedly but it won't. It won't stop hurting, won't stop throbbing. And I wish, I wish I can take out my heart and hold it. I wish I could nurse it and heal the broken pieces. Glue the broken pieces and go back living my life like nothing happened.

But I can't because everytime I shut my eyes, Danielle's moans fill my mind.

I feel so stupid. Eva, Danielle and even Sofia have tried to warn me. She's his first love. She's always been his first love. He's always going to love.

Eva had mentioned it. She told me but I'd shrugged her off with a sly smile because I thought…Because I let myself think that what we both share is beautiful. Real.  More than pretense. It didn't feel like pretense. It never did. 

But now, it's all thrown in the bin, shards of my heart are all I have to hold on to.

“Alexa,” Sofia calls with worry as she moves from the door to where I'm sitting on the bed. I haven't left here since I came here seven days ago.

It's been seven days.

Seven whole days since Xander bailed out on me to be with his first love.

Seven whole days since my hearts been broken. 

Eva didn't exist anymore. She's gone. Out of rage, Xander has destroyed her. But what rage? I should be the one feeling rage? I'm the one who is angry that he's done this to me. I'm angry at myself that I was so stupid to let any of that happen.

“You have to get out of bed. You have to step out of the room. It's been seven days,” she recites in the same no-nonsense voice she's been using on me since day one.

It's not worked so far so what makes her think it will work today, I'm not sure. 

“I'm fine,” I groan as I lay down on the bed, pulling the comforter with me. She slaps my hand off and snatches  the comforter from me. 

“No, you are not fine. You are heartbroken because of something you saw. Your decisions are clouded by your emotions and that's okay. What's not okay is sitting here and laying here for the past seven days, crying. It's not healthy.” She snaps.

“I'm allowed to feel that way,” I muster.

“No, honey. Not if you are looking like this. If you are going to cry, cry while looking drop dead gorgeous.” She says. I resist the urge to laugh, knowing my head hurts. 

When I don't bulge, Sofia lets out a deep sigh and settles down on the bed. I can feel her watching me but I don't open my eyes to glare at her to leave me alone. She doesn't deserve my retorts or any of my moods but I can't help it and I feel guilty. But my heart’s been stamped on so I can't even bring myself to apologize. 

“You know,” she begins, her voice soft. I don't open my eyes but I listen. “It's not been that smooth for me and Dave either. Every marriage has its ups and down.” She says.

I flip my eyes open and stare at her pretty face. She's all dolled up today. “Did Dave cheat on you?” I ask her.

She scrunch up her face with disbelief. “No, I didn't give him room. Plus, he would never do that to me.” She tells me.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “See! Your husband didn't cheat on you,” I suck in a huge breath and take my time to expel it. “But mine did,” I mutter.