HIS PRETENSE BRIDE

CHAPTER 21

Xander's POV

Surprisingly, she is already dressed and waiting for me downstairs when I stroll in.

Our eyes lock for a second before she turns around and makes for the stairs. I follow quickly, determined to get her out to lunch.

That is my way of apologizing to her.

“Alex,” I call, racing towards her. As soon as I am close, I grab her hand and she twirls around and slams her body into mine with her eyes growing wide for fear of falling.

I wrap my hand around her waist and gaze down at her beautiful face. She is wearing a poppy wrap neck top with red prints and leather trousers. She has her hair down, making her look mesmerizing at a close glance at her

“Let me go,” her soft voice pulls me out of my reverie and I let go of my hold on her hand. Without hesitation, she darts forward towards the bedroom.

Quietly, I follow.

I have a meeting by 3 pm, so I need to get this done before then. Two hours is all I have to spend outside the office, and I hope to put that to good use.

When I get to the door, I push it open to see her back to me. She is fuming in anger.

“Alex, you want me home. Here I am. Can we go now?” I ask softly, and she spins around to face me, pointing a finger at me.

“I haven't seen you in three days, Xander, and you think you can pretend your way into getting my forgiveness? Is this what you promised? Ignoring me like I am some piece of shit or one of those whore…” she pauses and bites her lower lip, regret flickering over her expression.

A smile makes its way to my face.

“You think this is funny?” Her eyebrows pop up with anger.

Taking a step towards her, I mutter. “It's not what you think. Calm down, ok?”

She doesn't say a word, and I am glad. When I am close, I place my hand over her shoulder and temptation runs through me as I see the pleats of hair over her shoulder.

I want to tug it away, back behind her.

She is watching me with pure rage and it has me swallowing hard and saying. “I am sorry.”

“Xander, this isn't just about saying sorry,” she shakes her head, her eyes becoming glassy, as though she is about to cry. “You've been out for three days. I don't even know if you came home or not. I don't even know what I did wrong to you. Perhaps you despise me or I irritate you or…”

Without thinking, I shut her up with my lips slamming against hers.

If only she knows.

If only she knows how hard it is for me not to touch her. If only she knows why I have been trying to stay away from her for fear of losing my self-control.

This woman is a virgin.

Quilt is the only thing that stopped me from having her on our wedding night. I felt like someone who had deprived her of a good life with a man who will love her like she deserves. A man who deserves to be her first in everything.

Realizing I am kissing her, I pull away quickly.

I am not supposed to do this too.

She needs a man who will be her first in everything, not someone like me who is thirsty for revenge.

Someone who is just using her to get his trust fund. I am using her to get back at my step-mother and it fills my insides with guilt.

She is breathing hard, staring at me with hope. I shake my head to get rid of the wild thoughts running through my head.

“I don't find you irritating, Alexa. You are an exceptional woman…”

“Then why didn't you touch me?” She interrupts, a tear slipping down her eyes. “That is what this is about, isn't it? I am here because I need to have your baby. How can I have a baby when we haven't been intimate yet?”

Her concerned tone makes something stir in me.

I am worried about using her to my advantage and here she is concerned about me not getting what I want.

I take hold of my face, lifting her jaw to wipe away the lone tear. Her gaze is wavering, enchanting me into staring into them.

When she blinks, I ask. “Are you truly okay with me touching you?”

Confusion clouds her features and she nods. “Of course, I am. That's why I am here.”

I nod.

She is right. She is here because I need her. I need her because I should have a baby.

I went into this with that intent. Why am I stopping myself from doing what's right? She is fine with it anyway.

“Is something wrong? Don't you find me attractive enough?” She questions again, making me shut my eyes tightly.

You are beautiful, Alex.

I want to say this but my lips won't budge.

“Xander?” She calls, grabbing my arm. “What is happening? Talk to me, please.”

“I was home, I always leave before you wake,” I answer with all honesty. The look on her face indicates she wants to know why I am doing that. “It's because I was shocked to know you were a virgin. It was unbelievable at first but…”

“But what? It doesn't matter, does it?” She snaps sharply. “I only told you because I felt it was necessary. Perhaps I shouldn't have. Knowing I have never been with a man was a turn-off for you, wasn't it?”

“No!” I blurt out. “It wasn't.”

Silence falls and I approach her. “I am scared you have more to lose…”

“Xander, we are married because of this. What's with the silly excuses?!”

I can't convince her. I can't avoid her either. And I can't stop myself from doing what she wants.

She doesn't mind losing her virginity to me, just for me to achieve my goal. It makes my respect and admiration for her triple.

When she opens her mouth to say something again, I take her lips again. This time, tasting every inch of her till I have her moaning into my mouth in delight.