Whenever I listen to sad songs, I get philosophical. Or insightful may be a better word. I look at the people around me and they seem to have it all figured out. I know I'm too young to be having a 'life crisis,' not that this is really one, but I'm scared. Nervous, maybe. And excited to see what the future has in store for me. My friends are doing their extracurriculars and know exactly what they want to be when they grow up. They're growing their college applications with various volunteer work and awards, and I feel behind. It's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing, but I just can't help but compare. I try not to. I've gotten much better at not comparing. I feel a sense of self-confidence and security now. I'm very very grateful to have come to this point in my journey of self-growth. At first, I thought it so unfair that I had so many ups and downs while everyone else had smooth sailing. Why was I the one who was crying while the friends I left were posting on Instagram together? How is it that every friend I've left or gotten left behind by found their perfect best friends? Why do I strive to be like them, but they don't even give me a second look? Maybe that's why I bathed in the littlest of compliments, like a brief mention that I had thick hair. That comment stuck with me and weirdly fueled my insecurity further. But I'm glad this all happened to me. Well, glad may be a strong word. I'm grateful that I overcame it. Because, until I thought about it just now, I hadn't thought about the thickness of my hair. I'm not consumed by jealousy. I'm not that insecure girl anymore. Without realizing it, I've grown. Only now, looking back, do I realize that.
