Fragments of Us - Soukoku Oneshots

12. A Lesson In Affection ❤️‍🩹

The Port Mafia's headquarters was silent, save for the occasional rustle of papers and the low hum of the ceiling fan spinning lazily overhead. Akutagawa sat across from Dazai at the long wooden table, posture as stiff as a board, hands gripping the edge of the table tightly. Every second felt like a ticking bomb. He didn't dare glance up, but he could feel Dazai's gaze lingering on him: cold, indifferent, as always.

Akutagawa swallowed. He had spent the last few months throwing himself into missions, desperate to prove his worth to Dazai. He'd perfected his use of Rashomon, followed every order to the letter, and completed tasks that others deemed impossible. All for this moment, hoping, praying, that Dazai would finally notice him.

But as usual, Dazai was unreadable.

"You're awfully quiet today, Akutagawa," Dazai said, his voice a smooth hum that cut through the silence like a knife. He leaned back in his chair, lazily eyeing Akutagawa, lips curled in the faintest of smiles.

Akutagawa stiffened at the comment, his eyes darting up for a split second before quickly returning to the table. "I-I have nothing to say, Dazai-san," he stammered, his voice betraying the nervous energy buzzing inside him.

Dazai tilted his head, his smile growing wider, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Nothing to say? I find that hard to believe. You're always so eager to prove something, aren't you?"

The words stung, and Akutagawa felt the familiar ache of inadequacy rise in his chest. He had always known that Dazai saw him as nothing more than a pawn, someone to mold into a weapon for the Port Mafia. But still, he couldn't help but yearn for a sliver of recognition; a sign that all his efforts hadn't been in vain.

Dazai's chair scraped against the floor as he leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and his chin in his palm. His other hand reached across the table, fingers brushing against Akutagawa's forehead before sliding into his hair. The touch was unexpected, gentle even, and Akutagawa froze in place.

"Well, maybe you're just tired," Dazai mused, his voice taking on an almost patronizing tone. "You've been working hard lately. Perhaps it's time you get a little reward."

A soft blush crept onto Akutagawa's face. Was this it? Was Dazai finally acknowledging him?

The hand in his hair tightened slightly, and Akutagawa's heart raced. He'd waited so long for this, just one moment of approval. It wasn't much, but it was enough. He could almost feel his chest swell with pride, the faintest of smiles tugging at his lips.

But then, in an instant, the mood shifted.

Dazai's grip tightened painfully on Akutagawa's hair, yanking his head backward. "Or maybe you need a haircut," Dazai remarked, the playful lilt in his voice betraying the sharp edge of cruelty beneath it.

Akutagawa winced, his heart sinking. The fleeting moment of recognition vanished as quickly as it had come, replaced by the familiar sting of Dazai's mockery. "D-Dazai-san..." he started, his voice filled with confusion and slight pain as he tried to pull away from Dazai's grip. The affection he had yearned for had turned into a cruel joke, and Dazai didn't seem to notice- or care.

"Come on, Akutagawa," Dazai continued with a chuckle, ignoring the younger man's protests, "don't make that face. You should be used to this by now."

Akutagawa grit his teeth, his hands balling into fists at his sides. This wasn't what he wanted. He had worked too hard, pushed himself too far, just to be treated like this. But despite the burning frustration coursing through him, he couldn't bring himself to lash out at Dazai. Not after everything he had done for him.

Before Akutagawa could retort, the door to the office burst open, and Chuuya stormed in with all the grace of a hurricane.

"Dazai!" Chuuya's voice rang out, his usual irritation cranked up to eleven. His bright blue eyes immediately locked onto the scene before him; Dazai gripping Akutagawa's hair like a bully on the playground while the younger man looked utterly miserable.

Without hesitation, Chuuya stormed across the room, his face set in a scowl. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Dazai barely had time to register the redhead's entrance before Chuuya's boot connected with his side, sending him tumbling out of his chair. The force of the kick knocked the air out of Dazai, and he landed on the floor with a loud thud.

"Oof-" Dazai groaned, holding his side as he looked up at Chuuya with a playful grin, as though this was all part of some grand scheme. "Chuuya, how violent of you..."

Chuuya, standing over him with his arms crossed, gave Dazai a deadly glare. "What did I tell you about bullying Akutagawa? He's not your damn toy!" he snapped, gesturing to Akutagawa, who was still sitting frozen in his chair, wide-eyed and stunned by the whole ordeal

Dazai, still lying on the floor, raised his hands in mock surrender. "I wasn't bullying him, Chuuya! I was just... giving him a little tough love."

"Tough love, my ass!" Chuuya spat, his eyes narrowing as he gave Dazai another threatening glare. "You always take it too far, you idiot! You're lucky I didn't kick your head off."

Dazai sighed dramatically, sitting up and dusting off his coat. "You're so violent. I don't know why you're always so rough with me."

"That's because you're a goddamn moron," Chuuya shot back, crossing his arms. He glanced at Akutagawa, who still looked dazed, and softened his tone. "You okay, Akutagawa?"

Akutagawa blinked, pulling himself back to reality. "I... I'm fine, Chuuya-san," he murmured, though the ache in his scalp begged to differ.

Dazai, finally back on his feet, waved off the concern with a lazy smile. "See? He's fine. A little hair-pulling never hurt anyone."

Chuuya shot him a glare so fierce that it could have melted steel. "Dazai, I swear, one of these days I'm going to-"

"-Fall in love with me all over again?" Dazai interrupted smoothly, winking in Chuuya's direction.

Chuuya's face turned bright red, and he clenched his fists at his sides. "Shut up, you bastard!" he shouted, taking a step forward as if he was going to kick Dazai again.

But Dazai just laughed, taking a step back with his hands raised in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll behave. No need for violence, Chuuya."

Akutagawa watched the two of them bicker, feeling strangely out of place. It was odd, seeing the way Chuuya seemed to care about him, at least, in comparison to Dazai's indifferent cruelty. He wasn't used to anyone stepping in on his behalf, and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

As if sensing Akutagawa's confusion, Dazai glanced over at him, his expression softening just a fraction. "Akutagawa, don't let Chuuya's temper fool you. I'm proud of you."

Akutagawa stiffened at the words, his eyes widening in disbelief. "D-Dazai-san..."

"You've been doing well," Dazai continued, his voice unusually sincere. "Keep it up."

For a moment, Akutagawa didn't know how to respond. His mind raced, trying to process what Dazai had just said. Was this another one of his mind games? Or was it genuine praise? He didn't know, but the warmth spreading through his chest told him that, for once, maybe, just maybe, Dazai was being honest.

But before Akutagawa could voice his thoughts, Chuuya stepped in again, grabbing Dazai by the collar and pulling him toward the door. "Alright, that's enough. You've done enough damage for one day," he muttered, dragging Dazai along despite the latter's half-hearted protests.

"Chuuya, please, no need to be so rough," Dazai whined as he was pulled out of the room. "You're hurting my delicate frame."

"Delicate, my ass," Chuuya shot back, though there was a faint smirk on his lips as he dragged the taller man down the hallway.

As the door slammed shut behind them, Akutagawa remained seated at the table, staring at the spot where Dazai had just been. His head was still spinning from the whirlwind of emotions, but one thing was certain: he had finally received the recognition he had been waiting for. Even if it was wrapped in Dazai's usual brand of teasing, it was enough.

For now, at least.