Murrcano~

Melancholy

Months had passed since the incident, and the gossip about Sal leaving the show due to "mental health" had finally died down. Murr still felt awkward and uneasy around Q, who had seemingly moved on from the drama. Sal, on the other hand, had been living alone in an apartment, rarely going out. He had tried to kickstart his own podcast and some stand-up comedy shows, but unfortunately, they hadn't gone as he planned. 

Murr sat on the set, his body tense and his mind racing. He couldn't shake the feeling of unease and discomfort sitting next to Q. He missed Sal, his best friend, and the thought of continuing to do the show without him felt wrong.  Murr couldn't help but feel unworthy and vulnerable around Q. It seemed so messed up being expected to be "friends" with someone who had cause was warm and comforting. It wasn't the same without him. Murr tried to focus on the task at hand, but his mind kept returning to thoughts of Sal. He missed the way Sal would make him laugh, the way they would banter back and forth. Q was intense and intimidating, whereas Sal was warm and comforting. It wasn't the same without him.

Murr's POV
---

I couldn't take it anymore, I miss my best friend. After the shoot, I got in my car and made my way to Sal's apartment.  On the drive there, I was thinking of all our moments, and never, not once, did Sal let me down. I knock on his door 5 times, memories flowing back, even though it's only been a few months. I wait anxiously, my palms sweating. After a few moments, the door creaks open. The bags under his eyes tell me that he hasn't been sleeping well. My heart aches, seeing him like this.  "Hey," Sal says, his voice rough from lack of use. "What brings you here?"  I was feeling a little awkward. "I just, uh, wanted to see how you're doing. I've missed you, man." Sal nods, stepping aside to let me in. The apartment is a little messy, cluttered with clothes and takeout containers. It's clear that Sal hasn't been taking care of himself.  I stepped into the apartment, taking in the mess and the overall vibe of the place. It's clear that Sal has been struggling since leaving the show. The thought makes my heart ache. I follow him into the living room, and sit down on the couch. The room is dim, the only light coming from a table lamp. The silence is heavy. 

---

Murr and Sal sat on the couch, the air thick with tension. .Murr spoke first, his voice soft and sad. "I've been feeling really low lately. You know how I get when I'm depressed." Sal nodded, understanding. "I know, bud. It's tough. I've been dealing with anxiety lately, it's taking a toll on me. Especially with all my shows." Murr listened intently, his heart aching for him. "Anxiety, huh? I'm sorry, man. I know how much that sucks." Sal leaned back on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh. "Yeah, it's been tough. And with the money situation..." Murr could see the worry lines on Sal's face deepen as he brought up the money situation. "Money trouble again?" he asked, trying to keep his voice overflowing with empathy. Sal nodded, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "Yeah, it's bad. I thought my podcast and stand-up gigs would take off, but they haven't. I'm running out of money and it's stressing me out." Murr's eyes widened.. "Damn, that's rough. Have you been able to make rent?" Sal leaned back against the couch, looking defeated. "Barely. I've been trying to pick up odd jobs here and there, but it's not enough. I'm struggling to make ends meet," he confessed. Murr sighed. "I'm sorry, yknow, about Q and everything? I really want you back on the show... I mean I'm thinking of calling it quits." Murr said. "What? You're thinking of ending the show?!" Sal jolted up, a shocked expression on his face. Murr was silent before answering. "Yeah..I mean..everything that happened with Q .. you not being there.. and especially this one thing," Murr's voice cracks with vulnerability."It's like I'm watching my life happen from a distance. I feel disconnected, like I'm not really here. It's like I'm watching a movie or something. Everything just feels...unreal. And I've tried getting checked out...many..many..many times. I just get pills and pills. It's always pills! It doesn't help. Everything just feels foggy and..I can't get out of it." Murr ran a hand over his face. "I know it sounds crazy," he muttered, "but that's what it feels like. Like I'm stuck in this never-ending nightmare." Sal listened silently, a mixture of sympathy and concern showing on his face. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on Murr's shoulder. Murr took a deep breath, the touch of Sal's hand bringing a small moment of comfort. "It's exhausting, you know?" he said, looking at Sal with weary eyes. "Feeling like everything is fake all the time. I just want to feel normal again." Sal gave Murr's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You're not crazy," he reassured his friend. "What you're experiencing is real, and it's okay to feel this way. Maybe it's something temporary, maybe it's not. But you're not alone, and I'll be here for you no matter what." Murr felt a wave of gratitude wash over him at Sal's words. "Thanks, man," he said quietly, a hint of a smile on his face. "It means a lot to know I can depend on you." It's as if they went through a whole relationship together. Though they didn't, they wish they did. It's too late. They weren't young anymore, they were grown. They grew up together. Although they never mentioned their feelings for each other, they knew how each other felt. Murr get's up and wipes his hand on his pants. "Well, I'm gonna get going, but I got you this." Murr says, throwing a gift. Sal giggles and opens it. "A Golden Girls blanket, sick." Murr laughs and heads out.