This is a how to essay about pencils. How to essays are usually characterized by their step-by-step way of writing. For instance, if I was doing a how to essay on how to start your car, it might look something like this:
1) find the keys
2) check the car for flat tires
3) adjust your mirrors and seat
4) put the key in the ignition and turn
You get the idea. However, the step-by-step instructions are not necessary, and it can also be written in paragraph form like the one below. In this essay, I tried to put a humorous spin on it, both to make it stand out and to make it more fun to write.
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Even the Little Things Have a Point
Today, I will let you in on a secret: the pencil you write with is of the utmost importance. Unfortunately, not everyone has caught on. For example, the D.A.R.E. program warns against a lifestyle full of drugs and other bad choices, but neglects to ask the most important question of "Is your pencil the best fit for you?" I'm sure even hardened criminals look back with regret on the very day they absent mindedly picked up the wrong pencil, safe in their belief that "it's just a writing utensil" and "it doesn't matter anyway." However, this belief is completely wrong. Over the years, it has become clear to me that the dreaded writer's block or even a dangerous life of crime is not the fault of the individual. Rather, it can all be traced back to their pencil. For those of you who have no wish to start down such a dark path, I urge you to continue reading, and see which pencil best suits your personality.
The first step for any pencil amateur is to decide what type of pencil is the best fit. The basic wooden, mechanical, and liquid pencils all present a variety of different options. For those who shun the complexities of technology, or just enjoy simplicity, I would suggest the basic wooden pencil. Its simple and sleek design will keep distractions to a minimum, allowing you to fully focus on the task at hand. However, this pencil is not for the faint of heart. If the need to sharpen it in class should arise, you will become THAT person. A teacher's worst nightmare, they tend to disregard lesson plans, socratic seminars, and quiet time in their attempt to get the perfect point. As the sound of sharpening drowns out all else, it is crucial to remember that it is not the fault of the operator, but rather, the fault of the tool. For those who have a wooden pencil, I would highly recommend getting that engraved. You'll need it.
For those who would prefer a much quieter option, I'd propose the mechanical pencil. Instead of using a pencil sharpener, one click dispenses all the lead you need. Elegant and quiet, these tend to be the pencils most students favor. As a disclaimer, I would note that these pencils are not for those with a short temper. Once you begin to take out some lead, it is inevitable that those without will crowd around, begging for "just one piece." If you allow this to happen, you will turn into THE PERSON WITH LEAD. Unless you put your foot down, this will lead to you being accosted in every class, people trading favors or promising to pay you back for "just enough lead to get them through the day". I am convinced this is how most drug dealers got their start.
For the bold I would suggest a different route. The liquid pencil, with its dark lead and showy style, might truly be their best fit. While similar to the mechanical pencil, it comes with the distinct advantage of having unbreakable lead. However, a slow temper is required, as a multitude of questions regarding if it's really a pencil will be asked by both classmates and teachers. For someone who doesn't mind defending themselves, it's interesting to watch the reactions of different teachers as you attempt to complete tests or labs with what appears to be a pen. Unfortunately for the absent minded, this pencil tends to cause a few problems. Due to its similarities with a pen, it's quite possible to mix the two up. Although we've all been there, completing your calculus assignment in pen is not necessarily the best idea.
Whatever you decide, it is vital to pick your pencil carefully. Personality, as well as the strengths and weaknesses of each writing utensil, must all be carefully considered. Picking the wrong pencil is a slippery slope, and it can lead to other, even more terrible decisions--like becoming a crazy cat lady. For those who want to avoid this potential downfall, I would recommend taking my advice into account before it is too late. Remember: the right pencil is essential for a long and happy life.
