A Place to Belong - A Woosan Novel

{8 - Between Desire & Distance }

The nights had taken on a familiar rhythm for Wooyoung and San. They often found themselves at Wooyoung's apartment after a long day, sipping wine, talking about everything and nothing, and allowing the quiet comfort between them to grow. It was a closeness that Wooyoung cherished—a closeness that felt natural, even as his feelings for San began to shift into something deeper, something more intense.

Wooyoung knew he was falling. It wasn't the first time he'd felt this way about someone, but with San, it was different. The careful, delicate way they had built their friendship over time had made Wooyoung hyper-aware of the fragility beneath San's surface. San had been hurt, deeply hurt, and no matter how much Wooyoung wanted to close the distance between them, he couldn't bring himself to push too far. Not yet. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting or pressuring San.

Tonight, they were both a few glasses of wine in, the low hum of the city outside blending with the soft music playing in the background. San sat across from him on the couch, his legs tucked under him, a glass of red wine in his hand. His cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol, and there was a warmth in his eyes that made Wooyoung's heart beat a little faster. He was so stunning, even when he wasn't trying.

They had been talking about random things—work, the neighborhood, the upcoming weekend—but as the night wore on, Wooyoung noticed a shift in San's demeanor. The casual ease they usually shared had turned into something heavier, more contemplative, and Wooyoung could feel the weight of whatever was on San's mind pressing down on the air between them. San was definitely in his head, Wooyoung could practically see the overthinking wheels spinning.

San swirled his wine, staring into the glass as if it held answers to questions he hadn't yet asked. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice quieter than usual. "You ever wonder if... you're just too broken for someone?"

Wooyoung blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. He set his own glass down on the table, turning his full attention to San. "What do you mean?"

San sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly as he leaned back into the couch. "I don't know. It's just... after everything that happened with my ex, I've been thinking a lot. And I can't help but feel like... maybe I'm too damaged to ever really trust someone again. Like maybe I'm just not capable of it anymore."

Wooyoung's heart clenched. He had known that San was carrying the weight of his past relationship with him, but hearing him say it out loud like this, hearing the pain woven into his words, made it all the more real.

"You're not damaged, San, you were deeply hurt, and it's normal to feel this way, and need time to heal." Wooyoung said softly, but the words felt insufficient. He wanted to reach out, to pull San into his arms, to tell him that he was worth everything and more. The Wooyoung would do anything to be with him. But he held back, knowing that now wasn't the time.

San shook his head, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like if I get too close to someone, they'll hurt me. It's easier to just... not."

Wooyoung's chest tightened, the ache in his heart growing with each word San spoke. He knew exactly where this was coming from—San's ex, the betrayal, the way it had shattered his ability to trust. But hearing San say that he didn't think he could ever get close to someone again, that he was too broken to even try—it cut deeper than Wooyoung expected. He tried not to take it personally, San wasn't trying to hurt him, he was truly trying to process his pain.

San took another sip of his wine, his eyes still fixed on the glass. "I don't think I could ever trust someone again. And someone like you, Wooyoung... you deserve someone who isn't... this."

Wooyoung swallowed hard, his throat tightening as the words hit him like a punch to the gut. Someone like you. It echoed in his mind, twisting the knot of emotions that had been building inside him for weeks.

He wanted to tell San that it wasn't true—that he wasn't too damaged, that Wooyoung didn't care about the past, that he saw San for who he really was and wanted him, desperately wanted him, flaws and all. But the words stuck in his throat.

Instead, Wooyoung forced a small smile, masking the turmoil churning inside him. "San, you don't have to figure all of this out right now. Healing takes time, and it's not something you can rush or force."

San looked at him then, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, and Wooyoung's heart ached even more. He wanted so badly to cross the space between them, to tell San that he wasn't just a friend—that he was more, so much more. But he couldn't. Not when San was still so fragile, still so unsure of his own worth.

So Wooyoung stayed where he was, holding his emotions at bay, even though every fiber of his being wanted to close the distance.

"I'm just afraid," San admitted, his voice trembling slightly. "Afraid that if I try to trust someone again, it'll all fall apart. And I don't think I could handle that."

Wooyoung's chest tightened even further, his heart throbbing in his chest. He wanted to tell San that he would never hurt him, that he would be careful with his heart, his soul, but the fear in San's eyes made it clear that no amount of reassurance would be enough right now.

"I get it," Wooyoung said quietly, his voice soft but steady. "It's okay to be afraid. But you don't have to do this alone."

San's gaze lingered on Wooyoung's for a moment, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. There was a vulnerability there, one that Wooyoung had only glimpsed a handful of times, but tonight it was raw and exposed, like an open wound.

And it broke Wooyoung's heart.

He knew he was falling in love with San. He had known for a while now, but tonight, the weight of that realization felt heavier than ever. But he also knew that pushing San too hard, too fast, could scare him off completely. So, despite the growing ache in his chest, Wooyoung kept his distance, his desire for San battling against his instinct to give him space.

"San," Wooyoung said softly, leaning forward just slightly, "you're not damaged. You're not broken. You're just... healing. And that takes time. But I'm here. For as long as you need me."

San's breath hitched, and for a moment, Wooyoung thought he might say something—something that would change everything between them. But instead, San just nodded, his eyes dropping back down to his glass of wine, his shoulders slumping again.

Wooyoung's heart ached, but he didn't push. He wouldn't.

Not yet.

The night wore on, the conversation shifting back to safer topics, but the tension between them remained, a quiet undercurrent that neither of them could ignore. Wooyoung knew that his feelings for San were only going to get stronger, but he also knew that San wasn't ready to hear them. Wouldn't be for a bit.

Wooyoung promised himself, as much as it hurt, he could wait. He would wait until San was ready to let him in, even if it meant keeping his own heart on hold.

Some things were worth waiting for.

Wooyoung knew that San was more than worth it, so he was willing to wait as long as it took.