Silent whispers of love

~Chapter Eleven~

Hearts don't break; Its just another thing the poets say.
Hearts are not made of glass, or bone, or any material that could splinter or shatter. They don't crack Into Pieces. They don't fall Apart.
Hearts don't break. They just stop working; like an old watch from another time and no parts to fix it.

-Nicola Yoon, The Sun Is Also a Star.

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It's the day.

I was in my room getting ready for today, mentally.

Abhi has texted me earlier this morning, informing me that all the arrangements for his proposal were done. It was planned in Zugspitze, which was almost 2 hours from Munich by train. After which, we would leave for Hamburg, probably in the evening.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the unwanted storm brewing in me. You can do this, i told myself. It’s just a proposal. Just another day. I tried to smile. But my heart knew better.

It knew that it would take everything in me to keep that smile genuine.

I practiced in front of the mirror, forcing my lips to curl upward and eyes to twinkle. “Congratulations, Abhi! I'm so happy for you both.” I rehearsed, as if saying it out loud would make it real.

A text from Abhishek snapped me back to reality, 'We're leaving in five minutes, you done or not?'

“I'm happy for them,” I whispered to myself for the tenth and last time before exiting the room, “I want what’s best for Abhi.”

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Zugspitze is Germany's highest mountain, and the fact didn't help one bit in reducing the edginess that I was filled with.

I glanced over at my friends who were all clicking pictures with the very beautiful snowman Darin had made; It's head was about to roll off, the eyes were two mismatched coal pieces, and the smile looked more like a frown; It was less 'frosty' and more 'frostbitten', I could say.

Their voices faded into a distant hum as I stood by the railing, overlooking the ravine that seemed to stretch beyond infinity. Deep. Black. as far as the eyes could see.

"Kanika, come take a picture!" Ritika called, breaking my reverie. I forced a smile and stepped forward, the camera clicking as I joined the group.

I however stood slightly apart, feeling like a ghost in a moment meant for the living.

As the camera flashed, I glanced at Abhi. He looked radiant, but in that moment, I saw the shadows beneath the surface. He wore a mask of happiness, but his eyes—they betrayed a hint of uncertainty. Did he feel it too? The invisible thread that connected us? Or was I merely imagining it?

"Okay, now time for the main thing that we're here for." Darin said and glanced towards abhi, who immediately nodded with a warm smile.

Okay, the thread doesn't exist.

Abhishek took out the box of ring and kneeled down, while girija stood dumbstruck, processing the entire thing.

The velvet box opened, and Girija’s gasp shattered the air. “Abhi… are you serious?” Her voice trembled, filled with disbelief and joy.

His eyes sparkled with something I had always hoped to see directed at me. “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,” he said, his words echoing in my mind like a haunting melody.

"Girja,” he began, his voice thickened with emotions,“from the moment we met, you’ve brought so much light into my life. You’re incredible, and I can’t imagine my world without you.”

Time slowed as I watched them. Girija’s hands flew to her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks, and for a moment, all I could feel was a tidal wave of grief crashing over me. It was as if the universe had conspired to strip away everything I had held dear.

“can I be yours?” Abhishek asked, looking up at her with a mixture of hope and affection.

The air crackled with anticipation, laughter and cheers erupted around them, but all I felt was a suffocating silence.

As Girja nodded, overwhelmed with happiness, my heart shattered. The words hung in the air, and I felt the breath leave my lungs. It was as if someone had turned the lights out in my heart. I wanted to be happy for them. I truly did. But the truth clawed at my insides. I had spent too long hiding my love, and now it felt like I was watching the life I wanted slip away, piece by piece.

I turned away, tears streaming down my cheeks before I could even process them.

"Kanika!” Abhishek's voice called out, and I froze, torn between staying and running. But I didn’t want to be the one to ruin their happiness.

I didn’t want to be the shadow lurking in their moment of light.

“I’ll be right back,” I managed to say, my voice trembling as I walked to leave.

The beauty of the Alps felt suffocating, as I walked briskly toward the edge of the overlook.

Abhi’s voice called after me again, but I didn’t stop. I needed space, a moment to breathe, to gather my thoughts, to gather myself.

I clutched the railing of a nearby bridge, the wood splintering beneath my grip as my vision blurred. All I could see was them—two hearts intertwining, while mine was left alone, with a solitary flame burning in it somewhere.

I had wrapped my heart in the delicate fabric of hope, only to watch it unravel in front of me, again.

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Dear readers,
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