The Matriarch's Daughter

Chapter Thirty-Six: My Darling Sister Thepa

Thud.

Thepa landed hard on her back, assaulted by the light which penetrated her irises. She had not expected the sudden appearance of the sun's rays after spending so much time in the dark. The result left her temporarily blinded. She turned her head away from the sun as she breathed the damp scent of earth and petrichor. In her weakness, her cheek dragged against the ground, and she flinched as shards of something broken pierced her skin.

Reflexively, Thepa sat up. She could feel every ache and pain in her bones adjusting to the movements of her joints. The massive beating her body had just taken only moments before made her stiff. She flexed her hand, still clinging to the bow she had expertly wielded in combat, as the memory of what she had just done assaulted her brain. 

She had shot Rory.

Carefully, Thepa opened her eyes as they adjusted to the light. She was in a clearing. The jungle around her opened up in one small space, and for some reason, she had been lying in the middle of it. She made it to her hooves, feeling the crunch beneath her as clear shards of glass crushed under her weight. Upon closer inspection, she found the glass wasn't glass at all. They were crystal shards. She was at the ionic crystal.

I did it again, Thepa thought, as the memory of the first time she lost Rory came back to her. At least this time, there was no Zelphina to punish her for her iniquity. Just Thepa, all alone, in the middle of the Esha jungle.

"Wilran?" she yelled as her voice echoed around and back to her. 

Silence.

"Zuna?"

Still no response.

"Tash? Julius? Yenry?" A beat. "Rory?" she whispered.

The jungle refused to answer.

Thepa was truly alone. All the promises she had made, and when it had all come down to it, she had failed to stand by the one Saintian she truly loved. She looked down at the bow and again saw the well-familiar words engraved on its frame:

To my one and only sister, may you always find your mark.

Thepa had found her mark alright, the mark of a traitor. She wasn't worthy of the title friend, let alone sister. Still, she slung the bow. If it could no longer be her pride, it would be her shame. She knew when people saw her with it, they would know what she had done. She was too much of a coward to disappear, but even if she had wanted to, there was nowhere for her to hide.

Now, everyone will know what a failure I am.

Thepa took one last look in the direction of a temple she couldn't see, towards a sister she no longer had, and began her walk of shame back home.

She hoped fate would smile on her. She hoped a wild animal would find its way to her and treat her as its next feast. But it seemed that fate had other plans for her. From the silence of the jungle, she would not be so fortunate. The only thing that would be joining her on the somber journey back to the Beachwick would be the memories of what had happened and what she had done.

Rory, Claudia, and Einkidi. From the beginning, the four of them had been friends, but now two were gone, leaving only her and Einkidi, who was already joined to Draco and a soon-to-be newborn. 

Thepa was truly alone.

Sadness plagued her, refusing her allow her to think clearly. She knew that there were questions she should have been asking herself.

What happened to Rory, and who was Adreanna? How did Claudia find them? How did they escape, and where was everyone now?

There was time to consider the answers to these in the future. Instead, right now, all she could think about was shooting Rory and letting Rory kill Claudia.

But it wasn't Rory that killed Claudia, Thepa told herself. It's my fault Claudia's dead. I'm to blame. Not Wilran, not Zuna, not Tash, not Yenry, not Julius, I did. Me, me, me, me, me, me! 

When Thepa couldn't take it anymore, she fell to her knees, releasing a soul-shattering scream of anguish, but she wasn't done. Sobs welled up from deep inside her, heaving her to the ground. She curled up into the fetal position, willing death upon her body and soul.

Just let me die, please. Rory, Claudia, forgive me. Let me come to you and beg for clemency.

She was defeated in more ways than one.

Minutes passed, but still she lay there. The sun had started to set, the temperature had started to cool, but she still did not move. It wasn't until hours later that she saw the moon's first light reflect off her pendant that she finally stirred from her position. She clasped the pendant as tight as she could, bits of metal cutting into the palm of her hand, but she didn't care. Pain was the only thing she would allow herself to feel.

Still clutching the pendant, Thepa reached into her back pocket and pulled out a well-worn letter. It was the same letter she received from Rory that day in the rocky field. As she once more read its words, she silently prayed to her friend for comfort for her self-tortured soul.

My Darling Sister Thepa,

I know if you're reading this, I'm gone. If things had not gone the way the prophetess told me they would go, I would have stopped you from reading the letter, but seeing as you are, the worst has happened.

First and foremost, I owe you an apology. I have been downright horrible to you these past few months, and every step of the way killed me. I wanted to spend my last few moments on Sainta with you, but Gamma was right. I was a coward. If I tried to be with you, I would never let go. I could tell you that it was necessary and that you must not stop me, and knowing you, you would have tried, but that does not excuse my actions, and for that, I'm sorry. It's not fair to ask you for what I don't deserve. You would be just to condemn me, but selfishly and in finality, I ask one more favor for you. Grant me clemency, for I cannot bear a future with her without your love.

I would like you to give the second letter to Gamma. Find her and tell her I'm sorry. For as awful as I was to you, I was even worse to her. I pray that she may one day find the strength to understand that what happened was for the betterment of Sainta. Still, my action was the thorn I had to bear. Many times, I asked the Goddess to take that away from me, because Gamma has been nothing but the embodiment of love and devotion to Chandeidra and me. She would make a wonderful High Priestess, and the divine has indicated that if Gamma wants it (after all, we have a right to choose), she may have my place. By standing up to me, she proved what it means to have heart over duty.

Finally, I don't want you to suffer because of me. Chandeidra tells me your time is not up, and the fate of Sainta may depend on you. I don't know when, but all answers will be revealed in due time. Move on, my beloved sister, and don't grieve for me. For now, I am free of this mortal coil and have gone to be with the Goddess. It is the greatest gift one can receive, the second being with you. I hope that someday, you will be able to join me too, as we both can be protected in her loving arms, free from all iniquity. Until that day comes, take this pendant as a token of our friendship and sisterhood. May it offer you the protection I can no longer give when you most need it.

Give Einkidi and Claudia my love and watch over them. They are good at hiding it, but they will need your strength and bow for what is to come.

Forever your sister and best friend,

Rory

The letter gave Thepa something she desperately needed: hope. So much was uncertain, but as long as she had hope, it was enough to push her forward.

Wordlessly, Thepa got back on her hooves and continued her journey home.