WAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH...
Holy...sheet... I feeeell... horrendous. Well fourteen consecutive hours of gaming ought to cause some nausna in da mourning lol. Now I needs to remedi this sickyness.
I staggered lika zombi towards da bathroom. Limbing my sides forward to da med cabinet. I's smacked the door, grabbed pills of pain relive and- glup glup glup! Swallow those shitty pills down.
Zip! Ah yes yes yes YES I feel terrific now! Let's me begin this fucking terrfric day! As I prepared to open a game, the chat log appeared with a new, unread message.
Yo yo Al. How are ya doing this fine mourning hmm? Carlos had typed.
Oh I am very very good todaaaaaaaayyyy! I replied with rizz.
Good good good. Hey I wanted to remind ya. It's friday and tomorrow we're holding our partii! Guess you wanna join?
Yes yes yes YES YES." I frantically typed a dozen times. I Pirate Party that is too SWEET to pass up!
Okay bucaroo! Be prepare at 8 p.m at de state park!
You botcha you botcha! Biiiiiitch Bye bye!
For the rest of that day I gamed and gamed. My fingers became stone-like. My head went numb. My eyes stingy. My breath moisty. My posture breaking. Despite all that... I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK!!!!' Fun comes first. It always should.
"Daaaaaauuuughhhh... I'm hungry." My tummy was the signal for the time, It was noon already. I cook up some scrumptious pizza packs with them face cheese and hem artificial flavors (Good old American Cuisine).
I chewed on them while watching some Serbian flim. Didn't care as they burned me mouth and me insides. I NEEDED Sustenance of both kinds! Then suddenly, while lil babe was being boned, I received a message from Carlos.
I'm bored come to me home if ya bored too.
Urgh why not?
—
"Greetings Al. Greeting greeting GREETINGS!"
The scene of his ment had sightly altered. There were some pop packages and bags of crisps littering the floor.
"For the party." Explained Al.
"And it's gonna be HUGE!" Exclaimed Samson from another part of the room. Samuel and Sucuma followed suit. And also-
"This guy?" I said baffled. This Cornilio guy was back. With that wide grin of his. "What do you want now?"
"Do you not remember?" He said modestly. "I wish to join this party too. You and I are very much alike."
"Well, we're not high school, thats fo sho."
"Hey hey Al." Sucuma said. "Don't be rude with im. He's quite funny. Could ya contina that story about the virus you got?"
"Certainly. Though for this special lad, I believe we need to start from the top. So, last year, I'd really started getting the hang of the pirate business. Downloading stuff of my choosing. One day, on this day matter of fact, I'd wanted to play the newest release, Car Stealers 5. So I searched for those results, digging for hours for the perfect result. Then I stumbled onto what I thought was it.
I right away clicked on the link and the stuff was being loaded. After it was done however, my computer began bugging out. There was large amounts of lag happening and several graphic ads depicting nude women and gambling. By this point I was panicky. I tired shutting off my system. But something wouldn't let me. I had tear off the power cords shut my computer down. But the troubles do not end there.
A few days later, I discovered that over 14,000$ were taken from my bank account. The support told me I bought a boat with credit. I was stricken with terrible awe."
"You don't seem traumtized on da recount."
"Now now in the end, I explained I'd been hacked and later had my computer fixed and my savings account resolved. Afterwards I've learned to be more wry when downloading stuff." The sleazy shit finished in an opomistic tone.
"Good story sir." Said Carlos.
"Don't praise the douch." I said. "He's probably lying."
"No no, I promise I'm only giving out the truth. Now gentlemen I believe we can pass the time by watching a favorite of mine, Butt Twizzlers 5.
"Ahh... epic! I love that!" Said Samson.
So we sat. I had to seat meself between Carlos and that Cornhole douch. As the fat-ass cowgirls set on their 'big' adventure to 'vanquish' the 'holey' dudes of epic outer space (I know peak cinema).
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"Oh my!" Exclaimed Corny. "I'm late!"
"Late for what matter sir?" Asked Samuel.
"I have a Turkey cooking. You know how long those take.
"See y'all at the party!" And the blud rushed away just like so.
"Lair!" I's called out.
After the flim's conclusion (which showed the greatest gang bang to ever grace de eye), Carlos sent us home.
"I can set the party up by myself."
"Okay, loser bye!" I said.
—
"You on a sugar buzz, son?" Me mean old man said to me.
"Got a good score on my homework, A+s all around!"
"Ooh! Good improvement!" Me momma said, she even clapped her hands.
"Ahhhh... ooooohhh..." Jobi from across tried to speak again. "Sorry."
POW! After dinner I smacked the blud in his room. He whimpered as I shouted: "Try to be stubborn like that again and that pretty face of yours will be at the bottom of the trash bin!"
Later, in my room, I decided to award myself with some gametime on good old lappytoppy.
YES YES YES JOLLY GOOD FUCKING FUN WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Crack the opening of a door? JOBIIIII!!!! That cunt was standing in the door frame, seeing what I was doing, going to tell what I was doing.
"MOOOOOOOOO!" (That was a no) I needed to stop this bastard.
"ADRAIN STOP!" Another voice put a halt to such a beat-up. It was mother complained by dad. Who decided to hold me tight.
"YOU DARE TAKE 70 BUCKS FROM ME!" He was about to slap me until mother said: 'Enough Jeremy, now Adrain, it deeply hurts to find this out especially at this time. Commiting theft on your own father. Averting your punishment. This is utterly disgraceful!
Among all that nagging, Jobi, behind my mom's armpit, seemed to give this heinous stare. A smug kind of stare that suggested that justice had been delivered. THIS SHALL NOT BE TOLERATED!!! I sprang forward to my bro!
POWA POWA POWA POWA POWA POWA
"GAAAAAAH!!!" Mother yelped as I pomold that brownnoser down to the ground!
"YOUSHANAVABEEETCCH!!'' Dads grabbed me.
JUSTICE SHALL BE DELIVERED IN ITS ENTIRITY!!!! Then I something, goated. As daddy pulled me forward,
"YAAAAAAA!" I bit onto my bros nose.
"GITOFFFIMMMMM
SSHHHHHHHAAAAAA
Me and the nose went off him. Hell was waiting for me from dad. So I SCUMBLED for the hidden window.
Viiiiiiieeeee POP!
I made it outta there. In one piece. Fuck Jobi Fuck my parnets. PARTY HERE I COME!!!
YOU ARE READING
That Spectacular Guy
HumorThis is the amazing, fantastic tale of a boy who learned of alternative means of obtaining things. The story is fiction yet possibly true. There is comedy yet tragedy. Who will go and who will still. READ AND FIND OUT!
