"Come on guys!'' Father told us all. "It isn't THAT BAD!"
Uhh, no dumbass. It is. This "Omelette with pancakes" is somehow WORSE than yester'ay. Da two foods were combined in some horror movie fuckjob that reeked of rottenness.
"I Pass!" I immediately said. Throwing up me hands, cause I really don't care!
Next objective: get to da attic. I's sped down da hall, broughts down da ladder, and scaled upward to da prize.
I's wafted through box after box, but turned on nothing. Me back was aching from so much bending. Was I aging this soon, so fast? Wait I then spotted a particular bin, containing da player. AWESOME!
I swiped the player, stomped to me room, connected da device to me dormant TV and next- the disc. I tore the package (not so literally) took out disc 1 dropped it in da drive, hit play to begin Smash Cows: Reign of Ronald Reagan
BOOOOOOM YES YES YES THE PROGRAM IS STARTING!
WARNING: THIS PROGRAM IS LISENSED FOR PRIVATE HOME USE ONLY. ANY OTHER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
... uhhh... okay... the first episode is starting!
Ah yes, the opening scene involving da cows getting growth hormones to become thicc. One problem, or really SEVERAL problems. Da quality was in, like, 360p. The saturation was dank dark, my TV was set HIGH! The sound: MAH MAAAH MUH MUH MOO MOO OH OWO OWO WOW UUUUUUUH UUUUUHHH! TOTAL HORSESHIT!!!
Worse this problemo wasn't exculsive to Disc !. NO! 2-8 were riddled with the same issues! Yet there wasn't one fucking scratch to any. This package was 60$!!! A scam. A horrid scam. What company on planet Earth creates a fucking product like this!
Sherman Bros, the package said!
"FUCK THEM!" I said aloud and proud.
—
"Really, Mr. Warren, is this seroiusly the best you could do!" Me 1st hour teacher ridiculed my sloppy work.
"What, doing work at 3 a.m tends to wheid crap results."
"Adrain, what on god's green- I can't even understand the words!'' Da next teacher said.
"It's a new language..."
"Is this some art. Is THIS supposed to be ME!" The thrid yelled.
''It's an apporeiate portiart of you."
"Bad excuse!" They said together from across time
"Enough, this behavoir will be arranged! You shall be given a tutor!'' Da Big bald prinipal erraticly informed me.
"Screw this I'm leaving!" I straight up walked out with no regrets.
On the foreign sidewalk where I's was. I skaddled to Carlos.Going home was a no-NO! As I walked, Is hear second ser behind me.
"Oh hey Al!" Sucuma da African came ova to me. "Heading to Carlos too."
"Of course dumbass!" Stating the obvious. "What do you need?''
"Need songs!" He held up a moldy Pod player.
"Didnja get enough discs to fill your stomach?''
''Can't enjoy some excerise withsome music!"
"You train?"
"Yeah, In my room, which located just 1 floor down where Carlos lives. Just got back from work, garbage collecting.''
"May have a better chance of finding a Pod with tracks on it, given old they are. That model you haves at least 20 years of age.''
"Never judge a thing by it's age!" He quoted.
YOU ARE READING
That Spectacular Guy
HumorThis is the amazing, fantastic tale of a boy who learned of alternative means of obtaining things. The story is fiction yet possibly true. There is comedy yet tragedy. Who will go and who will still. READ AND FIND OUT!
