I's have returned to my adobe without injury. No body was following me, splendid. I can now begin my plan recurring fun-
"Adrian!" Came a high-pictched yell from the libin room.
"Shet..." That wasn't from daddy.
"Adrian, how could you?" Me mommy scolded this time with a wigging finger and .sterny attitude. "Insulting your teachers, turning in work of poor quality. This is not what a Warrnen is!''
"What is a Warren then ya!"
"Someone who is..." Me mommy wasn't too wise. "Daring, cunning... above average."
"Well I'm all of those things right."
"In all the wrong ways! If you can't get straight, you'll have to do the year again! Now go to your room and redo all this work!" She hands me my sloppy papers and a finger to my room! She was being kind of a bitch.
Now I have to get sneaky. So much later at night, like somewhere 1 to 2 in a mournin, I crept outta bed tippy toed through the house, looking me dad's wallet. Da sloth doesn't do a good job of keeping his belongings in one spot. Through the kitchen, the hallways, bathroom, closet, libin room, I looked, but with no results. Oh but the TV area, me dad spend too much time there.
"AHHH!" I's let out cry o joy. On the middle of cousin, the brown pocket sized thing WAS there. I took for a quick withdraw of 70. 5...16... 23...57...65...70! Ha ha much too easy for the likes of me. Time head-
"What are you doing?''
"Ugh..." Someone spotted me. Who? lil bro Jobi!''
"I'mmmm... trying to find... my pen." There, now go away you bastard!
"Why at this hour?"
"Umm... for my late work."
"Well, you shouldn't have done all that going away.''
"They're tough. You try them.''
"Wait a moment, is that money from dad wall- MMMMMMM!" That's it. I let my instinct go and begun choucking lil Jobi to submission. "Stoough STooooup"
"You shut up about what happened here, right lil one?"
"Arghh noooo. WAAAAAUUAACK..." I tightened my hold, Jobi's face begun to turn crimson.
"Last chance, cunt. Or your life shall be extinguished.''
"DAHH YES I SHALL BE SILENT... DURRAAAGH..." I let the sucker go and fled, weeping and recovering his breath.
Mission accomplished.
—
"Is something wrong Micheal?" Mother inquired the next mourning.
"I had..." Jobi put a brief eye on me, but he knew the consequences would be deadly of the beans were to spill, so... "I had some bad nightmares, is all... about a giraffe.
"Ha idiot!" Dad blurted at the dismay of everyone expect me.
—
'"Well, at least you tried.' That's basically what them teachers said to I. Solid C-s all the through, though still take it over parental becking." I was speaking to me friends regarding my day.
Sucuma, Samson, and Samuel were there and Carlos offered his free time to me too.
"Interesting..." Commented Samuel.
''Welp better than me FAILING every class ha ha." Laughed Samson. "Like I did Haha."
"I did do no class." Butted in Sucuma. "My parents didn't care bout that crap."
"Lucky you." I got an weird feeling. Carlos was shooting me a foul look. "What you want the money? Catch!"
I pitched the bucks and coins. It spread out all over the place. "Dumbass, pick em up."
After my daring pick-up. Samuel pitched another group question: "What is your family like?"
"Our parents are total hipsters." Started Samson. "Wearing all this shit from the 70s and having clash with other shit from da 2010s. They look worse than clowns. Having beanies with bowties and vests with jeans, trust you'll laugh ya ass off if you saw them.''
"Me parents are, like I hinted at before, are chill." Came Sucuma second. "Don't work. Don't bite. Just sit there. Drink Eat Drink eat. Get our money from da government.
"Reminds me of me pops. Be a sloth all day. Don't throw a bone for no one but himself. Not all da folk in me family like that. Me mama is a sweetheart nevers gets too mean or bummy, does her duty 9 to 9. And I also have a bro Jobi, he's a brownnoser whose nose is covered in shit. Lil shet almost tattled me outta da the money I got.''
"Wow, that's some talking there, what gacha speaking like that, Al?"
"Well when I was a small small lad, I gandered at a cool flim entitled: Richmond Boys. About these young adults who get a kick from a kick. Fighting for the joy. The main character, Richy would go: 'Ey girlie wanna go out anna adventure with me boys.' And 'sup man fine fine weather we are indeed having, yes yes?' Just hada impression on moi."
"Seen that flick." Carlos commented. "It's one of my favorites.''
"Can we watch it?" I asked.
"Why not."
So, after some time, we five watched da opening scene of the titular male friends smothering some hobo in feces and kicking im til blood coughed through mouth. Then the rape scene which still rather... cool. After 20 minutes of da forced sex, The boys are caught by a spy and go through some very nasty intregogo led by the goon Laugherfield. In the end, every one of the boys is lobotomized into obedient cunts without an edge.
"So what did you think?"
"It alright." Shrugged Sucuma.
"Very... Intense..." Said Samuel.
"Got bored halfway through." Said Samson.
"Terrific as always." I praised gladly.
"Good, because I have a lot more where that came from."
"You know I've been meaning to ask." I meself inquired a question. "Why do you get all shit for free?"
Carlos, Samson, Samuel, and Sucuma all made a funny grin. "Oooooh there are plenty!" Carlos in an almost evil way. "Firstly!"
"There's no availability! All our favorite bands; Toothpicks, Lictorice, Cotton Candy, Smores, Black Bean. Aren't on any streaming platform!"
"And none of their physical media has had a reprint in 20 years! Any old copy costs 100 times it was at retail."
"It sucks it fucking sucks!" Whined Samson.
"For me," Interjected Sucuma. "I jus don't got da monies. This thing costs fitdy, that thing costs fidty hundy, it's like why they need so much?"
"Hard pay for hard work is something me mommy saids."
"Well that ain't true no mo." Gander at these tabloids, blud." He displayed lots of News farticles describing this media CEO getting a 60 mil salary, this other actor guy buying a yacht, chairmen kicking 10,000 outta their livelihoods and they earn 100 mil in but backs, and an Indian high executive forcing 300,000 outta da slums to build his golf course.
"These fricking bums reap most of the rewards while da lowies are treated worse than bugs! Your support doesn't support the bugs. Only fedding the fat fucks at da top."
"Ah... very very stunning!"
"That's not all, for me the breaking point was censorship. I got this anime called Color Force Zero, jap animation, licensed overseas. Or as it's actually know as Iro-ryoku zero. Funny colored Spartans doing shit. The censorship is terrible. All blood n gore is removed. The dub is awful and flat. They removed the sex. The translated names are completely wrong. Is bullshit right
"YEEEEP." The others made a conjoined agreement.
"Good now let continue in da act."
Thus proceed more piracy. Good good good. ALL DAY LONG.
YOU ARE READING
That Spectacular Guy
HumorThis is the amazing, fantastic tale of a boy who learned of alternative means of obtaining things. The story is fiction yet possibly true. There is comedy yet tragedy. Who will go and who will still. READ AND FIND OUT!
