𝘉𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘚𝘪𝘥𝘦 #1

8. Latent Connection

That kind of woman – Dua Lipa

I spent a couple of minutes thinking about how to respond and approach the situation while nibbling on my thumb's nail. I needed to protect myself somehow and not let him in any deeper... not more than he already had. But at the same time, the same part of me I wanted to shield from being broken into a million pieces—probably by a fuckboy like Jack—was begging me to get closer to him through friendship, without taking advantage of it.

He already had a space in my heart, earned six years ago without doing much more than appearing in my life and captivating me effortlessly.

The word "stupid" seemed insufficient to describe myself. Falling for someone and unconsciously gifting them a piece of me, something so precious, wasn't very intelligent.

When I decided what to write back, I took a deep breath and reread his message a few times to ensure I was totally sure. But when was I ever? At this point in my life, I didn't know if it was a problem or not, but I always chose to prioritize my heart over reason. Although following my heart had led to mistakes in the past, I was convinced that listening to my head was far worse, leaving me with regret and the nagging thought of "what if." As Alek used to tell me: it was better to have the story.

Savanah J. Mitchell

Don't worry about it, it's always good to have a friend to share things with. Haha.

Are there chances of being more than friends with her?

I went back to biting my nail, this time putting my phone aside, and sighed as I lay down on my bed, staring at my room's ceiling. The silence felt deafening, and I longed to escape it. I couldn't believe it had taken me this long to realize Jack still had feelings for me, and that I couldn't be friends with him and Barb if they became involved in the future; having slept with Mik without knowing he was connected to Jack's feelings for Barb was secondary to this tangled mess. But if they started a romance and I remained friends with both, I knew my heart wouldn't withstand it. Despite this, I genuinely wanted Jack's happiness.

The app's notification sounded, and I quickly grabbed my phone, unlocking it to read his response:

Jack G. Buttler

We've been hooking up for almost a month, probably less, and she's driving me crazy but... HAHAHAHA

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, phone on my chest. Almost a month? He and Barb had known each other for the same time as her and me, and Jack already felt she was driving him crazy and wanted more? How could I compete with that connection? Although I knew this wasn't a competition, seriously, how was this possible?

I gathered courage and continued reading:

Jack G. Buttler

Normally I'm not like this, our relationship is pretty weird, but I think it's best to leave it as is. I don't think she or I would work out for something more. No idea if you've experienced this HAHAHA, when you like someone but know it just can't be.