Dear Jun

Eight

Dear Jun,

It has been almost a week since the day of our marriage. I wish there's a lot of things I can do to lessen the burden you carry, but my small but significant ways are the only things I can do for you. Sometimes I worry if you're only accepting my efforts for my sake, but seeing you smile and have the best day of your life after a long, exhausting day, and just me being with you...

You are genuinely, genuinely recovering because of me.

I can't feel sorry for myself, as I know I am helping you, and if I sulk now, you'll feel more guilty that you were making me sad that I can't do anything for you.

It's kinda funny how that works. If I get sad, you feel worse. If you get upset, I feel devastated.

If you're happy, I feel blessed. If I'm happy, your day was the best right this moment.

Jun, if I may be honest, you're a scattered yet organized soul. You feel two different feelings at once that keeps you functioning as a normal person in society. I didn't mean to sound condescending—I wish I could have worded it better, because I never see it as a bad thing for you—in fact, it's one of the wonderful things that makes you, you..

May this journal entry make it up to the days I couldn't write you letters.

I love you, Jun. I'm grateful you accepted my love, even with circumstances that were meant to pull us apart. I'm happy that despite the small numbers, my relationship with you is being accepted as a truth.

When you have momentary solitude, I'll be here to help you accept that some events are never your fault, and the downsides you've acquired are not consequences of your actions. I refuse to believe it's your fault. It's the world that wants to bring you down after you chose to still be a good person despite the betrayal and painful events you'd endured and brushed off for the sake of not worrying anyone.

Let me hold your hand. Let me tell you any musings I have in my head. Let me give you warmth as I let you rest against my chest. Let me be your voice, Jun.

From you loving husband,

Arthur