Party Animals : Jevon Enemies To Lovers - (Jake Wheeler x Devon Evans) // (BXB)

Qualm

Qualm - Feeling of uneasiness, or a sense that something you're doing is wrong.

TW : Physically Abuse, Child Neglect, Emotional Abuse, Addiction/Alcoholism, Hints to suicide, Homophobia, Narcissism

*February 17th 2018, 7 years ago*
(This chapter is in Italics as it is a memory)

DEVONS POV

I jumped out of bed with a grin on my face, running down stairs in my favourite PJ's.

I looked into the living room, but frowned as I seen no presents.

They must be in the kitchen with my breakfast! I ran into the kitchen but only found my mom leaning on the kitchen table.

Today is my 9th birthday, which means-

Devon : Please can I go outside now mom? I'm a big boy now! You promised!

My mom held her head in her hands, almost like it was about to fall off.

She groaned, showing no acknowledgement to what I had said.

Devon : mom?...

Kim : JESUS DEVON, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN FUCKING PAIN, MY HEAD KILLS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MINUTE!

I flinched back as she snapped at me.

Devon : oh... okay... can I at least have my presents?

Kim : presents?

A look of terror overcame her face.

Kim : Oh-uhm- T-the... the Birthday Fairy must've forgotten to bring them.

Devon : oh... that's mean.

Kim : Well MAYBE she just has too much on her plate to be remembering SOME STUPID FUCKING DAY!

I started to cry.

Kim : OH, THERE YOU GO AGAIN, CRYING AWAY, YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY! BIG BOYS DON'T CRY SO YOU CLEARLY AREN'T READY TO GO OUTSIDE YET!

Devon : I-... I'm sorry mommy.

Kim : Go to your room! I'll go get your stupid presents now!

I sobbed as I ran past her to my room, closing the door and crying into my pillow and wrapped my arms around myself with my eyes closed, pretending my dad was still here and hugging me.

~~~

My mom finally came home, it was early when she left and the sun had already set by the time she got back. I spent my birthday alone. Not allowed to leave the house, without any presents and crying for most of the day.

I heard the front door open, along with a loud bang. Fear shot through my body as I peaked out of my door only to be met with my mother stumbling up the stairs.

I slowly shut my door and crept back into bed, pretending to be asleep.

My mom opened the door, turning the light on.

Kim : Devon? Honey are you awake?

I pretended to wake up.

Devon : Mom?

She sat on the bed with me.

Kim : Here you go honey.

She handed me a bag that had "Happy Birthday Mommy's Special Girl". I didn't mention that it was a girls bag, maybe that's all the Birthday Fairy had.

It was full of sweets, with a cupcake on the top with a candle.

I got out the cupcake and it had pink icing... but the candle was the number 8... I'm 9.

Devon : Mom... I think the Birthday Fairy got me the wrong cake... I'm 9 today.

I handed her the cupcake.

Kim : IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!

She threw the cupcake at the wall and shoved the bag off the bed.

I was terrified, stuck still, scared she'd hit me accidentally... again.

She started crying into her hands.

Kim : I'm the worst mother EVER!

Devon : No!

I hugged her.

Devon : You're the best mom I could ever wish for! Please don't cry.

Kim : I'm a failure! I'm so sorry.

I could smell it on her breath again. Every time she comes home she has the same smell. It's what makes her so... angry.

Devon : shhh. No you're not.

I whispered into her ear as I rubbed her back.

She laid down onto my bed.

Kim : do you love me?

Devon : of course. I love you more than anything.

Kim : you know I'd never hurt you right?

...

Devon : I know.

But she does hurt me? Does she not remember?

Kim : good. I love you Devon.

Devon : I love you-...

She was sleeping. I got up and slowly grabbed the bag because I was hungry. I left the room, shutting the door behind me.

I wasn't allowed in mom's room so I went downstairs to the sofa.

I saw what the bang was, she broke a vase. I carefully avoided the broken pieces, like it was a game. I finally made it to the sofa.

~~~

It was the morning and I smelled toast so I went over to the kitchen, only to see my mum... holding her head again.

Word Count : 770 words