Sandra's Diary: The Wierd House Next Door.

Not So Happy Day

January 11th,

    Today was the day we planned to keep watch on the wierd house. We wanted to see if any sort of activity took place in or around the house at night because, obviously, nothing happened during the day time.
    After Tony and Lissa got their confirmation about embarking on this mission with me, they were much more bolder than the previous days which surprised me.
    But I was glad they were gonna be part of whatever's gonna happen next as we obey God. Although, Dany's been trying to get my attention and spend time with me, I knew this mission God gave me shouldn't be delayed and Dany knew nothing about it. And I couldn't even tell her anything so whenever she wanted to hang out, I just told her that I needed to pray. At first, she believed me and gave me space but then she became furious when I always told her the same thing ( that was stupid, I know.
    But I couldn't lie) and she started suspecting my movements. It got so creepy when her suspicions led her to be mean to Tony and Lissa ( they weren't really close), I got sick of it. I definitely didn't feel good about not spending time with my ex-bestie ( I don't think i want her as a bestie any longer) but there was nothing i could do about it.
     Ever since she came back, she's been extra clingy, suspicious and ill-tempered; I barely recognize her anymore...and it breaks me.

    We've had better days, I wish I could be with her more than ever since her sister's gone and she was grieving. She wasn't good at making friends so when I asked her if we could be friends, she held on tight to me and our friendship grew over the years to the extent that she started regarding me as her other sister ( which sometimes bugged Evie) and I know that now would be the best time to be with her so that she can pass through this grieving period with someone by her side because her parents are very busy people and ever since Evie's death, they became busier with work and literally abandoned Dany, which is the reason why she can be at my place for over 24 hours and her parents would know nothing about it.
      So, I understand that she's lonely and hurt but I don't get why God doesn't want me by her...in fact, any time she's around me, I feel uncomfortable and I sense this atmosphere of depression around her ( sometimes I just pray for God to open my Spiritual eyes to see what exactly is making me uncomfortable when she's around me) even when she's smiling or laughing. I figure it's all just a facade to hide what's really going on with her.
  
    I decided to talk to my Mum about it. Dad travelled for work and Ray went to Jake's place ( our cousin)  for the weekend since he claimed I was too boring and paid less attention to him so it was just Mum and I that were at home. 

    Today, Dany and I had an arguement...boy, it's wasn't good. It was like all her hurt, anger and frustration was just poured out on me and I felt bad for her. Although I wanted to scream back at her for blaming me for her hurt, I held it back and thank God that Lissa and Tony were around to calm me down.

     "Hey Sandy! Wanna hang out at the park today?" She asked, smiling but I still felt uncomfortable. In fact it was way worse today and I didn't even know when I moved away from her on the seat. She noticed it and moved closer to me. I mover further and she moved closer. I eventually stood up and when she looked up at me, I saw the hurt boldly expressed in her eyes. I felt bad but I couldn't help it.

     "I'm sorry Dan-"

      "It's you prayer right?" She asked, looking ahead with a blank look in her eyes. The sarcasm in her voice hurt me but I ignored it.

    "Dan-"

     "Just say it. You don't wanna be friends anymore right?" She asked.

   "Dan! Why would you think that I don't wanna be friends with you? Why would-" Her question surprised me but I hid it.

   "Stop it! Stop the pretense!" She screamed as she stood up to face me, she was so angry that I couldn't remember the last time I saw her like that. She moved closer to me and I felt an intimidating presence around her and I immediately moved back.

    "Why are you behaving this way?" I asked as she scoffed.

   "What'd you expect? How do you expect me to behave when the only friend I have is avoiding me and the loneliness I feel is overwhelming. No one wants to hang out with me and I'm all alone in this painful period of my life. Sandra I just need you to be with me. Is that too much to ask for? You're the only sister I have left and now you wanna leave me too, just like my parents?" At this point, my heart broke for her and she started crying but I couldn't hug her or clean her face.

    "No. You don't need me. You need Jesus." I said and the way she looked at me, almost made me shrink back I'm fear.

    "What?! Don't you dare say that! How on earth could you treat me like this? Why is He so unfair? Aren't I a Christian like you too. What did I do to deserve this pain?" She said.

   "The comfort and healing you seek is not in me. He's the only one that can heal you-" Then she did something I never imagined.

   She slapped me hard! The force she used to slap me was scary and I fell to the floor, holding my face in pain. Lissa, who had been staying at the window, watching the while scene rushed outside to help me up. I didn't even know when tears dropped from my eyes as I felt a salty liquid in my mouth.

Blood!

  Till today, I never knew you could slap a person and blood would start dripping from the person's mouth. Then the words she said next hit me hard.

    "I hate you! I hate you all, all of you. I hate you!! And since you're so cowardly not to say it out, we're no longer friends! I don't wanna be a friend with such a heartless person like you!" She spat, full of rage.

    "Leave! Leave now! Look, you've hurt her already. Just leave." Lissa screamed as Dany flinched a little and looked at me, her eyes full of hate and her face twisted in an ugly scowl before leaving. I just sat on the grass where Iay, feeling faint as Lissa struggled to help me in.

   "W-what happened to her?" Tony asked as he got in. He hadn't come with his sister since so he was surprised so see a cut on my lower lip and an ice pack at the side of my face. I zoned out as Lissa told him everything and they comforted me.

   I slept after they left, waiting for Mum to come home.

     "Oh my baby! Who did this to you?!" Mum asked, running to me as she entered the house. I told her everything and begged her not to report to Dany's parents. It tool a lot of persuasion to convince her not to prolong the issue as we sat down to talk.

     "Mum, why do you think I feel that way?" I asked, after telling her everything. She removed her glasses and closed her eyes for a while before opening them and replying me. She looked exhausted. I'm not surprised though, she literally just came home from work.

       "I'm glad that you're spiritually sensitive and that you're learning how to hear God. But it is very important to obey His voice because you'll eventually see that if you don't obey Him, there would be consequences for disobedience. If God told you not to tell her anything and if you feel uncomfortable around her, I'm thinking you should withdraw from her for a while and pray to God before you do so and if He wants you to give her some space, He'll help you. It's not her fault that she's depressed, any one can fall into depression when the Joy of the Holy Spirit isn't alive in their hearts. It sounds ironical to be joyful at such a time but trust me, if only she can ask God for help and trust in Him, she'll continue to feel down. A Joyful heart attracts God and even the bible says that in His presence there is fullness of joy so she has to learn how to stay in God's presence and not rely on you for her healing because God Himself heals truly." She said.

     "Thanks Mum. I'll keep praying for her and I hope she heals soon." I said, giving her a hug as she patted my head.

    "Now how about some mashed potatoes and chicken?" I asked as she smiled.

   "Okay dear, let's get to dinner."