Want You Back

Chapter 6

•Elliana•

Sitting in the floor of the bathroom the cool tile nipped at the skin on my bare legs. I pulled them up to my chest and breathed in deeply. I could smell the faint scent of cologne and smoke, him. In the rush of that night I had grabbed his worn AC/DC shirt along with my clothes.

After Luke and I walked on the beach he had to go to his flat and promised once he got a shower and packed a bag he would come stay the night with me. We had become each other's support and needed to be together. Whenever he was here I didn't feel so alone and I knew he felt the same. I wasn't sure what we would do when Roselen came back from her trip and Luke no longer could sleep in the spare room while I slept in Roselen's. I didn't want to think about dealing with this with out him by my side constantly.

Sighing I blinked away the tears. Being alone allowed my mind to wander. All I could think about was that night. I should've heard him out. I should've tried harder to understand him. If I hadn't gotten all in my head he would be laying with me in our bed humming into my ear. He would be holding me to his chest tracing shapes on my thigh. He would kiss my lips softly and smile before kissing me like I would disappear from his arms. He would then tell me when his band made it big he would buy us a house on the beach so I could listen to the waves. He'd promise that he wouldn't work at the music store much longer and he would get us out of this one bedroom flat. I would kiss him and tell him I didn't need a big house. I had everything I ever wanted right there with him.

Tears ran silently down my cheeks. I heard the sound of the door opening and closing. I had no energy to get up or respond when Luke called out. It didn't take long for him to find me pathetically sitting in just his shirt and my underwear on the bathroom floor. He sat down in front me and reached out wiping my tears away.

"What can I do to make it hurt less?" He asked his blue eyes searching my face. I let a small sob escape.

I answered, "Hold me."

He nodded and pulled me close to him. His warmth radiating off him warmed my chilled skin. He smelled as if the crisp wind and sunshine had been bottled and a hint of whiskey. Tears continued down my cheeks onto his clean shirt, but he didn't seem to mind as he wrapped his arms tighter around my back.

"Talk to me Elli," he said rubbing circles on my back.

Taking a deep breath I said, "I just never thought we'd ever have a last kiss. I miss him so much it's like someone is ripping my heart out and an anchor is tied to my soul weighing me down so I drown. They say that time will erase anything, but it seemed to be taking its sweet time erasing him. I just remember everything. The swing of his step, his handshake meeting my father, how he would kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something, and our first kiss. It's all here on replay in my head and it won't stop."

Luke pulled me tighter as I began sobbing uncontrollably. It's like whenever I thought maybe I could be okay a cinderblock smashes down on me and reminded me of every single memory I had of him. I had given him my entire body and soul and didn't get it back. He was still holding it wherever he was, maybe with some girl on top of him. My entire stomach clenched at the thought. If someone else was touching him, holding him, kissing him I think I actually would die from a broken heart. The pain would be so intense I would die.

"Talk to me Elli. You're getting too far into your thoughts. Talk to me," he whispered rubbing my back.

The only thing I could think about was the first time we ever kissed. "His aunt's party," I began.

-two years ago-

I woke up to the sound of two children's voices giggling then being shushed. Blinking my eyes open I found myself pushed against the chest of a shirtless Ashton. His arm draped lazily across my waist. His hair was a curly mess hiding part of his face. He had a soft look and his lips were just barely parted.