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The Ship

It was 2am and I couldn't sleep so I got my laptop and checked my social media accounts. I gained a lot of followers when I got on this show. It felt really good to see that some have become my fans and they're supporting me even if I haven't debuted. Having supporters was definitely one of the things I looked forward to before coming to Korea. Not cause I wanted millions of people praising me and idolizing me, but because I've always wanted to know how it felt like to have people care about you and be proud of you. I've never really done anything that I can say my parents were proud of, to be honest. I spent the last 20 years of my life living without really having a direction and a goal. I wanted to be a performer since I was 12 but I didn't believe that It could happen so I never went to auditions and stuff. But when JYP came to Manila for the first time, I knew that was the one for me. It was all or nothing. A once in a lifetime opportunity.

What is this? I thought to myself. I suddenly noticed someone spamming me with hate tweets on my twitter mentions.

@karamia SCREW JACKSAM! JACKSON IS SUCH A PLAYER. And @Samanthaksh , BITCH STAY AWAY #JACKJIFOREVER

I know that JackJi is Jackson and YoungJi's ship name but I didn't know that people are already shipping Jackson with me. Whyyyy? The last thing I wanna do is get in the way of a ship. I groaned, after reading through all the spam hate tweets. I decided to google JackSam. There were tons of photo edits of Jackson and me, with hearts and all that stuff, that showed up on google images. I clicked on the videos on youtube. The first one was a compilation of all the times Jackson and I were shown on the show. Most of them were him teaching me.

"*KR* Oh my gosh! Cheese bokki!!! I love that. I always got it from the Korean store near my house!! *KR*" I said, in the video I was watching. They put hearts floating around us and added "Playground" by Got7 as background music right when Jackson fed me. I don't remember it being romantic in real life. It just felt like something that a friend would do. I think the hearts and the background music was too much. The time when we were playing with the toy cockroach was there too. They edited the part where I took care of him too. I only did it cause I felt guilty!!!!

The next clip was us running around the house, trying to scare people with our face masks. I laughed so hard watching it cause their reactions we hilarious. Joon Hyung accidentally hit Jackson with a shoe. Dong Woo was the only one we failed to scare. Instead, I was the one who got scared by him cause, I think he knew we were coming so he managed to scare us first. I was so shocked that I slipped. Fortunately, Jackson's reflexes were fast enough to catch me. After that, the clip of Jackson comforting me when I was crying came up. They didn't include the part where the other roommates came in and did the same thing. Playground started playing again.

이제 어른이 된 나에게 네가 나의 꿈이 돼줄래
이젠 너의 곁에 머물며 뛰어 놀고파
You are my playground playground playground

I thought the credits were about to roll out cause the screen already blacked out and the audio from the clips completely faded out. But just a few seconds after, a video appeared again. This time, the only audio playing was Playground and lyrics of the song were flashing along with photos and short clips of Jackson just looking at me and some of us looking at each other.

I didn't know Jackson looked at me like that. I remember that time when our faces accidentally got so close, it made my heart skip a beat for sure, but only cause I was shocked and it was like a scene from a movie. If it happened with me and some other guy, I'm sure I would've felt the same way. But maybe this is nothing!! Maybe he looks at everyone else the same way! It just looked romantic in the video because of all the editing and the background music, featuring JB Oppa's beautiful voice. Teehee.