holding my last breath - a noah sebastian/nicholas ruffilo story

chapter 2 // lost & insecure

If you would've told Noah that he would be spending his Thursday morning at a clinic, he would've actually fought you. He hates doctors, he hates how cold the offices always are and how cold the doctor's hands are.

Nick made him make an appointment two weeks after he took his test, saying they needed to see how far along he was and ask about tour. Nick was just being cautious, but this pregnancy has been kicking Noah's ass.

Why's it called morning sickness when you're literally throwing up all day long, at the most random of times? He's constantly feeling sick and dizzy, and he spends most of his days in bed trying to sleep it off. Truthfully, he was already over being pregnant and could not wait until his second trimester.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Nick asks from the chair beside him, where Noah is perched on the exam table. Noah hadn't realized he drifted off into la-la-land, and gives Nick a small smile.

"How already over I am of this morning sickness," He admits, because he knows Nick feels bad for him. Nick gives him a sympathetic smile, holding his hand and rubbing a thumb over his tattooed knuckles.

There's a knock on the door, and a small, petite woman walks in. She's carrying a laptop and a file, and gives the guys a warm smile. Noah's almost relieved she's a woman, hoping she'll understand his frustrations.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Villanueva. How are we feeling today?" She introduces herself, her voice polite and soothing. She takes a seat on the rolling chair that's beside the sink, setting her laptop down on the counter.

"We're okay, just here to check up on our bub," Nick replies, "I'm Nicholas, and this is my partner, Noah," He introduces them with a returning warm smile. Noah gives her a half-smile, his stomach filled with nerves.

Sensing his nervousness, Dr. Villanueva gives him a warm smile and turns to him fully, "You can call me Celeste. So, Noah. When did you find out you were pregnant?" She asks.

Noah thinks back, trying to remember the exact date. He looks to Nick for help, knowing he's better with dates. Nick knows that look and takes over, "We found out August 4th, but he was sick for at least two weeks before that," Nick explains.

Celeste writes down the information on her computer, looking like she's trying to make some dates up, "You wouldn't happen to have any ovulation periods, do you?" She asks Noah, and by his bright-red face, she takes it as a yes, "Okay, could you tell me when that last one was?"

Noah literally wants the room to eat him and take him away. His face is hot, and he's fidgeting with his hands. He's never explicitly told Nick about them, but he doesn't know if Nick ever figured it out. He tried his best to hide the evidence.

"Noah, it's okay. I already knew. Tell her," Nick is soothing, his eyes scanning Noah's reddening face. Noah won't look at him, but he nods.

"My last one was July 14th. I'm on medication, but I thought it stopped the ovulation. I must've missed a dose," He is mumbling, trying to stutter through this appointment. Nick is holding his hand tightly, trying to make him understand that this is normal and he's okay.

"Okay, so with that information, that puts your due date around April 14th of next year. Can I ask what your symptoms are currently?" She asks, getting ready to type some more.

"Um, for sure lots of throwing up. I'm really tired and nauseous a lot, and sometimes I get these really bad migraines and body aches," Noah lists, not missing the look of concern that flashes over Nick's face.

Celeste nods, typing away as she speaks, "Vomiting is completely normal, especially in your first trimester. The fatigue and nausea is also normal, your body is working extra hard to maintain this new life inside itself. It's okay to get extra rest during this, and rely on your partner for help," She looks pointedly at Nick, who's already nodding at the words, "As for the migraines, you have to stay hydrated. It's not a lot, but your baby is taking a lot of your energy and nutrients. You come first and you have to take care of yourself. The body aches are also normal, your body's just adjusting," She finishes explaining, and gives a tiny laugh at Noah's face, which reads confusion and fear all at once.