holding my last breath - a noah sebastian/nicholas ruffilo story

chapter 6 // no way out

Show after show, Noah could feel himself growing weaker with exhaustion and it was starting to take its toll. He was doing a great job hiding it, performing every night to the best of his abilities, giving the fans the show they paid for and more. The guys hadn't been noticing either, just letting him sleep more during the days and nights while they traveled or prepared for a show. Noah was making it a point to not let Nick find out, because if he did, Noah was afraid he'd make him pull the plug on the remainder of the tour.

But it all came crashing down in Tempe, Arizona.

Noah woke up that morning with the worst morning sickness, clinging to the bus's toilet like it was his lifeline. His bones ached under his clammy skin, and his head and stomach were in painful knots. His throat felt like it was on fire, from bile and singing every night. He thought the guys were still sleeping, as the bus was quiet when he rushed to the bathroom, but over the pounding in his head he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Noah?" Nick's tired voice rang through the door, "Are you okay?"

Noah coughs, trying to get to his feet, but his legs are so weak he can't lift himself up. His back falls against the shower door, his hair sticking to his forehead in sweat. He can see the doorknob twisting, before it's opened and his sleepy boyfriend appears in the threshold. Nick's eyes widened once they fell on Noah's sickly frame, dropping to his knees and brushing the hair out of his face.

"Noah, what's going on?" Nick's eyes rake over Noah's face, "You don't look good,"

Noah tries to meet his eyes, but they feel so heavy he fights to even keep them open. His words are jumbled, forcing out, "I-I'mm o-o-okay,"

Nick shakes his head in defiance, flushing the toilet for him and wetting a hand towel with cold water. He places the towel on Noah's soaked forehead, his chest gleaming in a sheen of sweat from the overhead light. Noah moans when he feels the coolness of the towel, his skin feeling like it was on fire.

"Fuck, we gotta get you to a doctor," Nick says, eyes full of panic and his stomach in knots, "How long has this been going on?"

Noah side-eyes him, "A while...at least since Salt Lake City," He admits, and Nick curses under his breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Why didn't I notice?

Noah gives him a weak smile, covering the hand on his knee with his own, "Because I didn't want you to worry, and I wanted to keep playing the shows. I just thought it would go away, that I could just sleep it off. But now I can't reverse it," Noah admits

Nick sighs, "Baby, you gotta tell me this stuff. I can't let you suffer when I could try and help. We got our baby to worry about too," His voice is quiet, but firm.

"Baby's fine," Noah retorts quickly, his eyes narrowing in defiance.

Nick just nods, not willing to argue with him, "Let's get you up and back in bed, yeah?" Nick offers, shuffling to his feet.

"Need help, legs are jello," Noah responds, body limp on the floor. He weakly reaches out for Nick, who gladly grabs onto him.

Nick reaches under Noah's armpits and legs, picking him up bridal style and carefully taking them back to their room. By this time, Folio was in the kitchenette, his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he saw the two boys exiting the bathroom.

Folio follows them to their room, standing in the doorway as Nick tucks Noah back in, Noah's eyes falling shut as he shivers under the blankets. Nick steps out of the room after noticing Folio, fear evident on his face. Folio follows Nick into the living room, Nick collapsing on the couch, running a hand over his clammy face.