holding my last breath - a noah sebastian/nicholas ruffilo story

chapter 3 // indigo nights

heavy smut at the end of this chapter. mentions of pregnancy symptoms and language.

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One full month and a half since Noah had found out he was pregnant, and things hadn't gotten any better. He was still sick everyday, he was so fatigued even after sleeping a full night, and now he was having the worst pains in his hips and stomach.

He knew it was just his body adjusting, his hips expanding and his pelvis shifting inside him. It was to accommodate the baby, and to support him as he grows. But fuck man, did it have to fucking hurt so bad? Did he have to be constantly cramping, a new ache or pain leaving him breathless?

And God, don't get him started on the mood swings. He never had these issues before where he could be happy as hell one minute, and angry or upset in another. It was like a flip of a switch, and he couldn't explain it. Everything was just going wrong and it was literally making him flip the fuck out.

Nick and the guys are in the music room, rehearsing and working on the new tour setup, while Noah is whimpering into his pillow, his hips feeling like they were on fire and his head was pounding. He needed to be in there rehearsing as well, but, FUCK, he couldn't even move without his bones shifting.

The rooms warm, and his skin feels like it's crawling. He's got a heating pad adjusted under his hips, trying to soothe his aching joints as he whines. He sounds pathetic, how can something so goddamn small cause so much pain for a grown ass man? But he's broken bones, and none of it compares to this.

"Baby?" Noah hears from the doorway, a shadow lingering from the hallway lights, "I can hear you from the music room. What's going on?"

Noah doesn't respond, he lifts his head weakly to blindly look at Nick, whose eyes are raking up and down him in concern. Noah reaches out for him, feeling the bed dip as Nick crawls beside him, cradling his head in his lap as he moves the short hair from his face.

"Tell me what's going on with you, Noah," Nick pleads, watching Noah's face as it winces in pain, how he's grabbing at his hips and he's breathing heavily through his nose.

"Cramps," Noah mutters, "Cramping from baby," He's fighting through a spasm, and he's got a grip on their black sheets.

Nick decides to stay quiet, rubbing Noah's arm as comfort. He waits until Noah's face relaxes, his eyes fluttering open, "Cramping from baby?" He asks.

Noah grunts, deciding to roll onto his back and adjust his head in Nick's lap, looking right at him, "Yeah, baby's growing and my body's trying to adjust to the new life in there. Hips and pelvis hurt," He explains, his voice weak and he knows he doesn't look the best either.

Nick's looking on with pity, sadness burrowed in his stomach knowing this isn't something he can fix. He can't kiss and make this better, this was something that had to work itself out naturally. Noah can literally see the wheels turning in Nick's head, reaching up and touching his cheek to get his attention.

"It's normal, and I'll be okay. It just hurts is all," Noah promises, waiting until he Nick relaxes under his touch. He still looks distraught, but his eyes are relaxing under his gaze.

"C'mere," Nick says, using his hands to tell Noah to scoot back, settling in his lap back-to-chest as Nick leaned on the headboard.

Noah adjusts, trying to bite back a whimper as his hips dropped downwards, not enjoying the new perched position. He keens into Nick, and Nick's arm settle at his hips, massaging small circles into the skin. Noah moans, and Nick takes it as a good sign as continue his motions.

It's not much, but it helps with the aching and Noah's melting into his touch, giving into the newfound freedom. They lie like that for a while, Nick working out some of the knotted muscles in Noah's hips as he just laid there with his eyes closed. He had his left hand wrapped around Nick's bicep, tracing his fingers up and down it as his right hand sat on his knee.