YOU ARE MINE AND ONLY MINE - KimMacau

Chapter 11

Rain falls because the clouds can no longer handle the weight. Tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.

************************************

Macau

After i had dinner with P'Tankhun i decided to return to the room and while walking to the room, suddenly i remembered what P'Tankhun said about P'Kim. " Why do i feel bad for P'Kim ? Should i go and check him ? " I asked myself while scratching my head. I walked back and forth while thinking about P'Kim, even though I'm still angry at him but at the same time i also feel worried about him. Especially, after everything P'Tankhun told me that P'Kim is doing dangerous missions and keeping himself inside the room and not eating properly. I know i should ignore him but I can't, i really can't.

I take a deep breath and exhale it, then i walk to the P'Kim room and I am about to knock on the door but P'Kim suddenly opens the door and feels a bit shocked as he sees me standing in front of him. P'Kim looks at me and i can see the pain in his eyes. It hurt me a little but i didn't show it, then i noticed there's a wound on his arm and a little scratch on his neck...i can see that because P'Kim is wearing a black tank top. I tried to react normally and asked him " what happened to you ? Look at you, there are wounds on your arm and neck. Why did you do that ? I'm asking about your dangerous missions and P'Tankhun told me everything. Do you really want to die that much ? ".

P'Kim replied with a lower voice " Why do you care about me Cau? Don't you think i deserve this for hurting you ? You've been avoiding me since you were discharged from the hospital and now you suddenly show up in front of my room and ask all these questions, i know you hate me so much and you can hate me as much as you can but don't care about me if you are going to hate me again " he said and i can feel the pain in his voice.

" P'Kim....listen to me...i..." before i finished my words P'Kim cut my words " there is no use if i say I Love You, you won't believe it and you're distancing yourself from me. I know that I've done a lot of terrible things to you, insult you and your brother but when i realized all my mistakes it's already late. The feeling of hurting you and the feeling of breaking the promise that I made for you when we were children is haunting me and torturing me, more and more every single day. " He said while his eyes filled with tears and my heart aches for him. No matter how much i hate him but when i see how broken he's because of the guilt he has for hurting me, all the hate disappears from my heart.

I don't know what to say to him then he suddenly pulls me inside the room and locks the room. I looked at him confused then I felt shocked when he kneel down in front of me and said " I'm really sorry Macau, i can't handle this anymore please, can you please forgive me Macau and I don't know what else I should do to make you forgive me. It hurts me more when you're looking at me full of hate " I can't believe that P'Kim is kneeling down in front of me and bursting into tears. I never imagined seeing P'Kim breaking down like this and seeing him like this it breaks my heart.

I pulled P'Kim slowly to stand up, I felt a sharp pain in my heart when i looked at his tearful eyes, i wiped his tears. Then I asked him " why phi, why you need to do this to me again ? Why....just why " i burst into tears while looking down. I can feel his palm on my cheeks, " macau, look at me baby " he said and i slowly looked at him and said " i already set a wall inside my heart so that i won't get hurt again but you, Kim Kimhan Theerapanyakul is breaking all those walls " my tears still running from my eyes.

3rd Person Pov

Kim pulled Macau into his embrace, both of them are crying. Kim feels Macau's hands around his waist, Kim rub Macau back slowly and both of them are silent for a few minutes. " Even now you still hate me very much, am i right? " Kim asked Macau but instead of answering the question Macau tightened the hugs. Kim then said " I'd rather die Macau " Macau felt shocked and looked at Kim and said " What ?"

Kim pushed Macau a little, he looked at Macau and said " I'd rather die than see you distancing yourself from me, i can't live without you in this world Macau. I'm so very lost without you, thinking the world without you is terrified " Macau tears running from his eyes and shook his head slowly while saying " Don't say anything like this again please " then Macau cup Kim's face and asked " Then? Are you going to give up on me just like that ? What kind of man are you ? You say that you will prove your love to me, did you lie ? " Kim looks into Macau's beautiful eyes and says " I never lie about that Macau but I can't see any hope when you're avoiding me and distancing yourself from me. " Macau looked at Kim and pushed him a little while saying " I hate you "

" I dare you to say those words again, i promise and i swear on the name of god that i will never ever appear in front of you again " Kim eyes never leaves Macau when he says all these words. Macau feels speechless and unable to say anything even a single word. Both of them looked at each other's eyes without saying any words , after a few moments Macau breaks the silence by saying " don't you dare disappear from me without proving your love. Not everyone is getting a second chance, but you are lucky that I'm giving it to you so use it wisely" . Kim looked at Macau, he couldn't believe that Macau was giving him a second chance , Kim can see the hope in Macau's eyes and he kissed Macau's forehead and said thank you for giving him a second chance.

Macau caresses Kim cheek and said " i forgive you P'Kim because my love for you is bigger than my hate for you but I don't want to get hurt again and i can't trust you completely phi, i need sometimes to heal my pain" Kim nods and replied " I can understand Macau and i promise you that i will gain your trust again then I'm going show you how much i love you. I may break our childhood promise but not this one and I love you so much Macau " Macau nods and smiles at Kim, both of them hug each other.