THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 29: Loop Thirteen, IV

Hi! Sorry I'm late. I've been busy all summer and I moved to a big city alone, lots of life changes going on. How are you? :)

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"Come on," he whispered. "You know you want it."

"Eren," you whispered back. "I love you."

The lamplight above you flickered.

It went dark for only a moment, briefly causing you to forget where, who, what you were — and then it lit back once again so you could look at Eren's face right after you told him what you had always meant to say. No time more than a second passed at all.

It felt as though you held eternity in a single second. Time slowed down until all you were aware of was your labored breaths, timed with Eren's steady exhales. You had no idea how he would react, or what would happen next.

You watched carefully as his eyes widened. He spoke slowly, like he was digesting something impossible to swallow. But you saw the flush creeping up his neck, the tender rise of a blushing scarlet on his tan skin—the unconscious sign of his affection.

After a few moments, he collected himself.

"You... love me?"

You had thought that saying it aloud would be difficult or embarrassing, but it was not. It was not hard to understand why you felt that way about Eren, and he knew it too—you had grown up together and protected each other from the horrors of the world's monstrosities for almost a decade. Of course there was a semblance of love, the idea of caring, protecting, being.

But this was a different love, you knew. The idea of yearning and desiring. That if Eren ever left you, or vice versa, the other would never be alive again, that your heart would shatter.

What was hard was finding a way to translate all of those strong emotions into a cacophony of lines.

It felt as though every time you had tried to tell Eren this, you went tongue-tied. Strange, because it felt like you had only truly acted upon those feelings now.

How could you have ever properly told him that you loved him when you were sixteen? You were just a scared kid back then, desperate to survive. But even at sixteen, or at twenty, your feelings were never different.

"'Ren," you began, and by his name uttered alone, deep in his heart, he knew. "Isn't it obvious?"

"You—you do?" he asked questioningly, like he was unsure. His eyes were bright. "I mean... me?"

It had been so long since you last saw Eren as a stuttering boy. It reminded you of your days playing as children. You missed those days. Despite yourself, your mouth stretched into a smile. You cupped his face and made him look at you.

You had forgotten that confessing was frightening and enthralling, and it made you want to laugh—it was a great, dazzling idea for you to be in love with Eren and for him to finally know the truth.

"I love you," you repeated.

The air pricked your neck, like a kiss.

You had never been in this situation with Eren before, not that you could remember any, but it felt like you had. Gooseflesh rose on your skin at the thought—the leap off the cliff, and the falling into the unknown abyss. Knowing that he must feel something too and not knowing what would happen next.

"Eren," you said his name for what felt like the millionth time. "Listen... I don't expect you to feel the same—"

Eren reached out, gripping your shoulders, letting you properly see him in the light. Now, you realized that he was blushing.