The Nursery Nurse Oneshots

What did I do wrong? (Vivian backstory)

TW/ Abuse, Alcohol, Self Harm

Vivian's life started like any other. She had a roof over her head, food, warmth, a blanket. There wasn't much more that she could've asked for... except for one thing. The thing she'd craved the most since being in the womb. She'd seen everyone else have it, even her older sister, Emily. She grew up envious of her sister, she had everything she wanted.

Love.

Growing up, Vivian and Emily were close... at least Vivian thought they were. Vivian wanted to spend all her time with her older sister, she wanted to bring her happiness and joy. In her eyes, if she could spend more time with her sister, eventually she would turn into her... leading to her parents' love. She didn't know what she had done to make her parents... to make everyone around her hate her. Despite all the hate thrown around her, she still had a smile on her face. "Vivian, get your sly little ass down here. NOW!" A common occurrence in the household, usually followed by more shouting and screaming in her face by her father. He never aimed his anger at Emily, it was always at Viv.

One night in particular always stood with Vivian. She was thirteen. Her father had come home drunk, after an argument with her mother, leaving her mother to stop at a friend's for a few days. Emily, now seventeen, had her boyfriend, Stewart, over for the weekend. Young Viv was downstairs, preparing herself some dinner when she heard her father return home. SLAM. There goes the front door. She knew what mood he was in... she knew what was going to happen... because it wasn't the first time. It probably wasn't going to be the last time either. 

He found her in the kitchen, her body trembling. She knew no matter what she said, she wouldn't be able to calm him down... nothing could calm him down. "Hi Daddy, how was your day?" And with that, a punch to the face. THWACK! Her face was immediately red. THWACK! Here comes the next one. She tried to duck and move out of the way. He was too quick. THWACK! Her chin was the victim this time. Knocking her to the floor, he stood over her. Her teary eyes looked up at him in fear. "This is your fault, Vivian." He screamed repeatedly at her between every kick to her shaking body. She tried to scream. She tried to cry. Nothing came out. She knew she had to let him get it out of his system. In an hour or so he would be asleep on the sofa until tomorrow... that's what she had to keep telling herself. "You are a worthless piece of shit... you destroyed this family." He screamed continuously. Why wasn't Emily coming to help her? Stewart? Her mother? She needed saving... where was her saviour?

The next day, her father was at the pub again... no surprise there, that was where he spent all his time now. Emily and Stewart were shopping. She was home alone... or so she thought. She was getting ready to get into the shower, looking in the mirror in the bathroom... mortified by her body. The bruises. Faded and new. She looked down at her arms, her legs... the faded scars that covered her skin. They didn't seem so faded now. As she climbed into the freezing shower, she grabbed her father's razor. Her hands trembled as she slowly pressed it against her thigh. The red trickled down her leg as tears streaming down her face, wincing in pain. She pressed over the old scars, looking for spaces between the old and new. Her legs and arms soon became a bloody mess. Her breathing uneasy, as she continued to damage her fragile body. She washed the razor before rinsing off her skin, climbing out and hearing the front door shut. 

Shit! Was her father home already? She wrapped the towel around her before making her way to her bedroom, seeing her mother standing on top of the stairs. "Mother?" The young brunette raised an eyebrow, "I thought you'd be at work?" Her mother shook her head. She had always been too oblivious to notice before. Maybe her mother was better at covering it up with makeup before... maybe she had given up, like Vivian. "I've come to collect my things, Vivian." Her mother weakly murmured, "I'm leaving John." Vivian's eyes widened, was she going to take her too? "Don't be stupid, Vivian... why would she take you too? She hates you, remember. You destroyed the family." She thought as her eyes filled with tears once again. "Are... are you taking us too?" She gulped, begging for the answer she knew she was never going to receive. Her mother didn't speak... she only shook her head, handing her a letter, "Give this to John next time you see him."