In the Shadows

Chapter 19: Morrigan's Advice

Azriel landed softly on the balcony of the House of Wind, the familiar chill of Velaris' mountain air wrapping around him. As much as he had tried to avoid thinking about Skye, the journey back had felt wrong, as if he'd left something vital behind. But his duties called, and he couldn't deny the persistent tug of obligation. Rhys had sent him on an errand to relay critical information, and Azriel knew he had to take care of his responsibilities here before he could return to Skye.

He moved through the hallways with practiced silence, heading toward Rhysand's study. After a quick debriefing, Rhys had pulled him aside, his gaze serious and steady.

"You did well to protect Skye," Rhysand had said, clasping Azriel's shoulder. "But you also need to take a breath, Az. This obsession isn't going to end well for either of you. She's still new to this court and to the weight of her own powers. Don't drown trying to save her."

Azriel hadn't said anything in response, feeling the familiar tension coil in his chest. He knew Rhys was right, but there was no way to describe the gut-wrenching pull that had gripped him ever since he'd set foot in Skye's court. The responsibility, the raw concern—it went beyond duty.

After a few hours of catching up on reports and checking in on the Illyrian training camps, Azriel finally stepped outside, needing a moment alone to collect himself. The sun was setting over Velaris, casting a warm, golden light across the city. He took a deep breath, savoring the calm that Velaris always seemed to offer.

That was when he heard the familiar footsteps behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Back so soon?" Morrigan's voice was light, but Azriel could sense the tension beneath her tone.

He turned, meeting her gaze. She looked as she always did—confident, poised, and unreadable. But there was something different in her eyes, something that told him this wasn't just a casual encounter.

"Morrigan," he greeted, inclining his head slightly.

She studied him for a moment, her expression shifting, becoming unreadable. "Walk with me?"

Azriel hesitated but then nodded, falling into step beside her as they made their way toward the garden. They walked in silence for a while, the soft sounds of the city filling the gaps between them. Morrigan finally broke the silence, her voice quiet and serious.

"I've noticed how distracted you've been lately," she began. "You don't seem... like yourself."

Azriel glanced at her, a flicker of irritation sparking in his chest. "I'm fine, Morrigan."

She stopped walking, turning to face him, her gaze intense. "Are you? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're running from something. Or someone."

Azriel felt his jaw tighten, the words he wanted to say lodged somewhere in his throat. He didn't need this conversation, not now—not when he had enough on his mind.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, his voice harsher than he intended.

Morrigan's expression softened, and for a moment, he saw a vulnerability in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. "I want you to tell me the truth, Az. About us. About what we could have been."

He felt a pang in his chest, an old ache that he had long since buried. They had danced around this for so long, always teetering on the edge but never quite taking the plunge. He'd told himself that he was content with things as they were, that he didn't need more. But hearing her bring it up now, he realized how much he had held back, how much he had kept hidden.

"I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "I thought... I thought I wanted us to be more."

Morrigan stepped closer, her gaze unwavering. "And what do you want now?"

Azriel met her gaze, feeling the familiar pull between them, the attraction that had simmered beneath the surface for so long. His heart pounded in his chest as she reached out, her hand brushing against his cheek. He felt his resolve waver, the memories of all the times they had come so close rushing back, overwhelming him.

He could feel the warmth of her breath, could see the flicker of something deeper in her eyes. He leaned in, the space between them shrinking until he could feel the heat radiating off her skin. It would be so easy, so simple, to let go and finally cross the line they had been dancing around for years.

But then, in the midst of the moment, Skye's face flashed in his mind. Her laughter, her strength, her vulnerability—it all came rushing back, and he felt a jolt of clarity. Pulling back, he took a step away from Morrigan, his breath coming in shallow gasps.

"I can't," he said, his voice rough. "I thought this was what I wanted, but... it's not."

Morrigan looked at him, her expression a mixture of surprise and sadness. "You've changed, Azriel," she said softly. "You used to be so certain."

He turned away, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know who I am anymore," he admitted, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

Morrigan took a deep breath, nodding as she seemed to compose herself. "Maybe that's not such a bad thing," she said quietly. "Maybe you need to let go of who you were, so you can figure out who you want to be."

Azriel looked back at her, feeling the weight of her words settle over him. They stood there in silence, the unspoken words hanging heavy between them. He knew this was a turning point, a moment that would shape the course of whatever lay ahead. He just didn't know where that path would lead.

Morrigan stepped forward, her hand resting briefly on his shoulder. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Az," she said softly, before turning and walking away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

As he watched her go, he felt a strange sense of relief mingled with the ache of letting go. He didn't have all the answers, but he knew one thing for certain: he couldn't keep running from his feelings, from the truth. And that truth, he realized, lay with Skye.