In the Shadows

Chapter 17: Unspoken Desires

Azriel's breathing was labored, his pulse racing as he lay in the shadowed stillness of his room. It was always the same—these dreams that haunted him, tugging at his desires and pulling him under as if he were caught in a tidal wave he couldn't escape.

In the depths of his sleep, he felt the familiar pull of a dream, luring him in with a siren's call. He was somewhere dark and warm, and Skye was beside him, her eyes alight with something unspoken, something that simmered just beneath the surface.

Her touch was like fire against his skin, searing away the shadows that clung to him, leaving him bare and vulnerable. She was close, so close, her breath warm against his neck, and when her lips brushed against his, he was certain his heart might shatter. He tangled his hands in her hair, pulling her even closer, feeling the world around them slip away, as if they existed in a place where time no longer held sway.

When he woke, it was with a gasp, his body tense, the remnants of the dream clinging to him like a ghost that refused to let go. He lay there in the darkness, his mind racing, his heart still pounding as he tried to shake off the vividness of it. It felt so real, so achingly tangible that for a moment, he thought she might actually be there beside him, her presence lingering in the air like a whispered promise.

But as the minutes ticked by, reality crept in, and he felt the familiar ache of longing settle deep within him. It wasn't the first time he had dreamt of her, nor was it the first time he had woken up with this unbearable weight pressing down on his chest.

Azriel sat up, running a hand through his hair as he tried to steady his breathing. He could still feel her touch, the warmth of her skin against his, the way her eyes seemed to pierce through him, seeing everything he had tried so hard to bury. He wanted her, more than he had ever wanted anything, and the realization was like a punch to the gut.

But with that longing came an undeniable conflict, one that had haunted him for weeks, perhaps even longer. He couldn't deny the intensity of his attraction to her, the way she made him feel alive in a way he hadn't felt in years. But there was no mating bond, no thread tying their souls together, and the absence of it gnawed at him, leaving him torn between desire and doubt.

Azriel spent the rest of the night pacing his room, his mind racing as he wrestled with his feelings. He knew that he cared for Skye, that she had become someone he couldn't bear to lose. But was that enough? Could he be with her, knowing that the bond didn't exist? He had always believed that the mating bond was a sacred connection, something that went beyond mere attraction or affection. It was a link that bound two souls together, a promise that they were meant to be.

Without it, he felt adrift, as if he were grasping at something he could never truly have. And yet, the thought of letting her go was unbearable. He wanted her, body and soul, and the intensity of that desire was like a flame that threatened to consume him.

He was still lost in thought when Morrigan's words echoed in his mind, a reminder of the doubts that had been simmering beneath the surface. She had told him once that love was a dangerous thing, that it could cloud his judgment and lead him down a path of pain and regret. And yet, here he was, on the brink of losing himself to something he couldn't fully understand.

As dawn broke, Azriel made his way to the training grounds, hoping that the physical exertion might help clear his mind. He moved through the familiar routines, his muscles straining as he pushed himself to the limit, but no matter how hard he fought, the thoughts of Skye lingered, a constant presence that refused to be silenced.

When he finally stopped, his chest heaving, he found himself staring out at the horizon, the weight of his emotions pressing down on him like a shroud. He knew he needed to confront his feelings, to find some semblance of clarity amidst the chaos. But as he stood there, alone and uncertain, he realized that there were no easy answers, no simple solutions to the turmoil that had taken root within him.