Beneath A Dying Sky

Chapter 4 - Memories

Sampson proved to be a delightful addition to her long and strenuous walk, he bounded around her like a breath of fresh air, sniffing things and grinning up at her whenever she'd talk to him, which she did a lot. He reminded her of a dog she'd had in her childhood, who was lovingly named Bones. All this time on her hands gave her too much time to reminisce, and she found herself falling back into old, familiar memories from a far-off time.

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Edith sat on the couch, stroking the head of her beloved dog Bones, who lay beside her. In the kitchen, she could hear her parents cooking and talking quietly to themselves. About her, no doubt. It was always about her. They thought she didn't know, or at least she assumed they thought that. But she did, she knew they argued about her at night when she was supposed to be asleep. But she'd had trouble sleeping lately, which led her to the stairs where, if she sat just right, she could barely make out what they'd whisper.

She sighed and looked at Bones, "You don't judge me, do you boy?" She whispered it to him; her parents weren't the only ones who could whisper. Bones lifted his head at his name and looked at her, almost agreeing that he would never. That's what she liked about animals, they never judged her. Unlike her classmates. Or her parents. She thought things were supposed to get better in high school. Not worse. Being what her mom called an 'oddball' didn't help, and if freshman year was like this, she was scared for what the rest had to offer.

Her parents mostly worried about her grades; they'd started dropping from A's to C's. They never seemed to care why. If she had a dollar for every time she was yelled at for her grades, she wouldn't even need to go to school. She loved her parents, but sometimes she wished she didn't have any at all, they just didn't seem to understand her. And they certainly would hate her if they knew why she was so gloomy all the time.

Maybe her mom suspected. Every time she asked Edith about the boys at school for some gossip, she felt her heart sink. She'd never paid much attention to guys, and at first, she'd chalked it up to focusing on her studies. And then, suddenly, a few months ago, Addi walked into her life. She was pretty and confident, and everything Edith was not. Yet she was still her friend, and that's when the trouble began. She didn't have to ask to know her parents would never allow that. It was a lonely feeling, even in a crowd of people, she felt utterly isolated. It was suffocating.

"Edith! Dinners ready, come eat." Her mom's cheery voice came from the kitchen.

Edith stood, kissing Bones on the head, "Coming!" She sat at the dinner table, tonight was mystery crock pot food. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. She would have killed for a pizza, though, instead.

"So Edith, your dad and I were talking, and we feel like we need to discuss your grades again." Edith's mom began as she took a bite of food.

"We just know you can do better." Her dad added, she glanced between them, taking a bite of food and chewing slowly. "Your grades used to be good, so we know you have the potential to do better."

Her mom took a breath, "Which is why until you get your grades up, you're grounded."

Edith frowned, but she didn't argue like she wanted to, she didn't want this to turn into a screaming match. That would just end with her crying at the table, "Yes, ma'am." Grounding meant no going out, just staying home while one of her parents hovered over her as she studied. Suppose she felt lonely before, she was going to feel worse now. A cold nose nudged her leg, and she looked under the table at Bones as her parents kept talking, well at least she wouldn't be completely alone.

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Edith sighed, she would kill for one of those shitty crock pot dinners right now. It made sense that the memory she focused on was about food. She could feel her muscles atrophying as she walked. It made her wonder how thin she looked; it wasn't like there were any available mirrors. She was sure she looked like a ghost. Hollowed out and ghastly. The suit was baggy on her thin frame, and her bones creaked together like a rusty automaton. But her heart still beat strong in her chest, and now she had a friend, he was skinny too but full of energy and life. It was almost contagious; she hadn't smiled this much in a long time.

Eventually, she found a half-standing house to drop her bag in and sit down on a partially burnt couch, patting the spot next to her for Sampson to join. He hopped up, and she petted his head, looking around at the dilapidated living room and feeling her chest squeeze. So many lives were ruined, and so many people were lost. How high was the death toll? How many families suffered days after the bombs from radiation and burns? She swallowed. Had her parents suffered? Had Lillian? Was she the only one left? It was thoughts like that she tried to avoid, and she hugged the sweet dog, laying her head on his skinny body. They'd both lost everything. And now it seemed they were the last two left in this burnt and cold world. Why? Why was this the result? Who won in the end? Nobody, nobody won, and everything was destroyed.

Edith swallowed the lump in her throat; she'd taken so much for granted: food, a home, she didn't care about rent, at least she'd had a warm place to stay. At least then, the sky was blue, and the air was fresh. She wondered, in this dark and lonely world, if there was anything she could have done differently to prevent this, to be given one last chance to fix what she needed to feel less regret now. But she would never know, and she'd never get the chance. That's how the world was now: broken, gray, and burnt. A toxic planet once full of life.