Raso's Little Sister

Celebrations

16th of December 2018

I was pissed, at Hayley for making me go to compulsory therapy sessions, for the treatment I got on the itch, the fact the official wasn't calling the fouls, what was happening off the pitch, and that all I could feel was anger. I couldn't feel anything other than anger, no sadness, no happiness, no joy, just anger, and if I wasn't angry, I was numb. 

I was walking towards the change rooms to get away from the fans, the cameras, and Hayley, when I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was Ona. "Hola." She greeted me. "Hola." I replied as I shook her hand again. "I just.." I could see her struggling with English so I told her, "it's ok you can speak Spanish." I replied.

(If the writing is like this it is Spanish)

She thanked me and I nodded, wanting to get this conversation over with so I could go into the change rooms. "I just wanted to apologise for the tackles you got from my team, if I'm being honest, I don't know how you kept playing after all of them." I can't believe she is lying to my face right now, I saw her telling everyone to tackle me, what a bitch. 

"You're just sorry because your little plan of getting me out of the game didn't work. I'm sorry that I'm not a weak cry baby like you thought. I wouldn't be here right now if I couldn't handle the pressure." I could feel the eyes of my teammates who probably didn't know I knew Spanish, and the Spanish teams eyes on me and Ona. 

Ona looked shocked, I was shocked too, shocked that I had become someone who I used to describe as disrespectful and the fact I could say this to a stranger. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know they would take it that far, I never wanted you to get hurt." I could have argued with her for a while, but I just wanted to go sit down so I decided the only way to get rid of her now was to be really nasty. 

"Look I don't have time for this, I heard you tell your team to do whatever it took to take me out so you did know I would get injured your just mad it didn't work. I don't really care if you are actually sorry or not but it was nice to meet you. Congratulations on 2nd place." And then I walked away towards the change rooms. 

But I was stopped again, like what the actual fuck just let me be. It was our social media manager telling me they wanted me to do an interview. I tried to say no but she said it was captains responsibility to do the post-match interview after winning the World Cup. 

"Hello Jess, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today" I wasn't even trying to hide the fact that I didn't want to be there but I replied in a polite way. "Thank you for having me." She quickly asked her first of what felt like a million questions. 

"How does it feel to have won the under 21st World Cup?" I could already tell this was going to be rapid fire. "Yeah it's a great feeling, I'm so proud of the work the team put into it , training wasn't always easy, but the hard work really payed off so I'm very proud." I lied, I didn't feel anything, no excitement, no joy no happiness, no nothing. 

"And how does it feel being the youngest on the team and being captain." I knew the question would get weird. "Yeah um, being the youngest on the team is hard, I mean they all talk about what they plan on doing after football and Uni and all that stuff, but I don't even know what they are talking about half the time. And as for being captain, I wasn't really expecting it, I mean I knew that with Amy out injured I knew someone would take over, but I had no idea it would be me." That was actually the truth. 

"Now we do just want to ask you how the death of your teammate Macey affected the team." Fuck, I knew this question was coming but I still didn't know what to say. I mean the press didn't know it was suicide because I told them not to because I knew she didn't want that. 

"Uh I mean it was hard for everyone and you could see it in the game that followed a couple days after, um but we pushed through and we made it out and we won," I was trying to say we won for her, I know they did but I didn't because I had completely shut any thought of her out.

"We worked really hard to try and stay focused on the games." I really wanted to be done so I looked at the social media manager and gave her the sign that I had enough. She told the interviewer that she had one more question. 

"And how does the team plan on celebrating the win tonight." Finally a normal question. "I mean I can't do much but there will definitely be a lot of singing and karaoke and dancing and some other things 14 year olds can't do, but it will be a lot of fun." She thanks me and I finally got into the change rooms, everyone was already partying and singing. 

Even before I had changed, I was never much of a celebratory person, but now I was even worse. As I got changed into some comfy but more dressed up clothes, I was the last one to enter the party room. 

Everyone had already started drinking and the media crew were in there before everyone got to drunk. I was the only person on the team now that was under 18, Macey would have been 2 but now it's just me. I walked in and everyone looked at me. Then I saw what everyone was looking at, the soft drinks table labeled, 'Jess's drinks'. 

"Real funny guys real funny." Everyone laughed but as I looked closer they were regular soft drinks, not no sugar. So I went and got myself 5 no sugar soft drinks from a vending machine, then got a ribbon. I placed the 5 drinks on the table and tied the ribbon around them. Then I grabbed the sign on the wall and placed it on-top of my drinks. 

Then I grabbed another sign and wrote 'soft drinks' and then placed it in front of the regular drinks. Everyone was laughing at me, but what's the point in consuming that much sugar when the no sugar tastes pretty similar and is healthier. 

The night was rough, more for me than others. My teammates just got flat out drunk, singing and dancing and I was just there. It was about 12pm at night and everyone was still going strong. I just wanted to leave. I had already drank all my drinks so I went out into the hallway to buy another when I heard someone walking behind me. 

Then I heard him, the devil whispering in my ear at the vending machine. "Did you forget that I was going to visit you before you left and that I needed to punish you for your dramatic's on the pitch today."  My heart sank, was he really going to do this to me right now. 

"B-but we won, c-can't you let me off. As a reward" a smirk grew on his face as he grabbed my wrists and whispered in my ear. "This is your punishment and your reward. Your punishment for being dramatic and your reward for winning." And then he pulled my shirt up, not all the way, but just to the edge of my sports bra. Then he pointed at the bruises on my stomach. 

"If you lost today, your punishment would have been a whole lot worse than these bruises, so be grateful you little brat. Now keep your mouth shut." And then he dragged me to the medical room by my wrists and locked the door. 

I don't think it had every been as bad as it was that night, he was brutal, and when he was done he said to me in my ear. "That should last you until next break. Now get your ass back to the party before people know your missing." 

So I did. I went back to the party and got comfy on a bean bag. Before I knew it I was asleep and when I woke up, I was tagged in so many of my teammates photos of me sleeping.