THE DEMON IS ME

THE DEMONS ' EFFECT

REINA

“I called you a cab, he’ll be here in the next ten minutes, grab your stuff and get the fuck out” she growled out and slammed the door behind her.

Did i do something to annoy her? I just said good morning. I wondered to myself. Is she not a morning person? What just happened?

I couldn’t bring my thoughts to a standstill, they were running rampant and ten minutes?called me a cab?… Oh i spent the night at her place, shit, doesn’t even let me take a shower but I’m not about to be petty and emotional over a fucking good morning and rejected shower…

I spot my clothes on the floor and get up in a hurry but fall back down on the bed “ouch” i winced. She was so rough last night till the point i blacked out, and my back was stinging as if someone let bees on it. I didn’t have time to think as i put on my clothes careful not to cause me more pain.

I don’t even dare look around as I’m judging myself so harshly with the ever presence of morning walk of shame looming over me, you see i didn’t bother looking in the huge mirror infront of me as i had a vague idea of how i looked,so i did my best to straighten the clothes i had on and walked out of her house,into the cab,told the driver my address, he honked once and off we went.

A few minutes later I’m inside my house…i dropped my purse, removed my shoes and clothes as i limped to my shower,the minute the hot water hit me i screamed in pain and stepped away from the scalding water,and to the mirror. The back i was staring at me looked like some piece of art created by an animal,a beast that was playing with it’s prey before devouring it. So that’s what i felt last night, she had cut my whole back at precise places and licked the blood from the dripping slits.

I was horrified beyond words. I didn’t realize i was bawling my eyes out, steam filling the bathroom as i slowly slid down the tiled wall to the floor, hands around my knees. What had i done? What did i get myself into? What did she do to me? Is she a vampire? I couldn’t tell which question was first and which was last as the thoughts just kept running through my mind with me bawling my eyes out.

After a few hours on the floor i finally took a shower carefully not to reopen the slits with the urge i felt to scratch them.

In a few i was in my silk pajamas, and on my side in my bed, i couldn’t help it i swear tears just kept flowing.

With my mind in disarray i remembered she’d warned me to run away and fast but i was too stubborn to think straight and look where i ended up. Was this what she was into, some sort of cannibal tendencies? I can’t do this at all, I’ll have to refer her to some other therapist. I fear at this point she was only getting started and I wasn’t ready for that. All that just happened i needed my own therapy sessions at this point.

It was an uneventful weekend for me as i stayed indoors thinking, not thinking and then thinking some more…

Monday came by and while at work, i called Kim and requested to refer Spanish to another therapist as I wasn’t feeling well and i was to take my vacation for the week. He argued that it was the board’s decision and he couldn’t do anything to change that and i just sighed in the phone and told him it was alright, i understood and hung up.

“Damnit what do i do?” I groaned to myself.

Friday was here in no time and to tell you i was dreading the upcoming session would be an understatement. I was downright having a panic attack. I needed to calm myself down. So at lunch time i told Belinda from reception to hold all my calls until i get back and if there was anyone to see me,she should direct them to my office,and walked away until i couldn’t anymore. I had even left my phone at the office.

Was i reflecting on myself or what exactly was i doing i was confused as hell…what would i even tell her when she showed up…did i prepare for today at all, of course i did not, I couldn’t.

“excuse me, are you alright? You’ve been sitting here for hours and it’s getting dark” a voice says. I look up from my hands that were holding my head, i felt tears on my cheeks and scrambled to get up rubbing furiously at them. “Sorry, yes I’m doing alright, i was just thinking” i mutter. It’s one of the guys from the gang…”oh i remember you, but not the name, sorry” i tell him “it’s alright, i was actually just leaving my office,” he points to a window directly facing where i had been sitting “I’m headed out to meet the gang as usual” the moment he says that my eyes go wide, i gasp and look down at my watch it’s fucking 0730hrs in the evening “fuck, my session,fuck,fuck,fuck” i cuss as i look around for a free cab because i was nowhere near the office surrounding. “Uhm i could drop you off at your office on my way” he offers and since i have no choice i say fine. And off we go, he drops me at the door and i rush in straight for Belinda.

“I took care of all your calls, nothing important today,uhm the leather chic is still in your office” she rushes out her words and i can barely hold in my shock,so i just dismiss her for the day. Spanish has been in my office waiting for all that time, damnit. So i just run straight to the elevator punch in sixth floor and stand impatiently as it goes up. At my door i am blank, shaking as i open my door.

I believe my mouth is dry by now. I’m stood behind the closed door panting from the panic i thought had left me. I couldn’t look up. My office that is usually smelling of lavender was now some sort of smokers section at some club. She was sat on the couch facing the door, legs crossed, i peeked at the table and saw an almost overflowing ashtray full of cigarette butts.

She doesn’t speak after i walk in, just stands up inches closer and closer to me until I’m pinned to the door, i wince as soon as my back hits the door and quickly mutter out a small “I’m sorry”. She doesn’t make a sound all this while. I believe i zone out for a minute when I’m brought back by a fist slamming harshly above my head and a heavy breathe on my neck, then I’m pushed out of the way, door slamming shut behind me and then she’s gone. I slide down carefully to the floor. Trembling and something running down my cheeks, damnit did she see my tears?

Then silence…