Unconditionally

No, I'm not ready for it

Stella's POV

They had just won the tournament, and cheers erupted like fireworks, but all I felt was a knot tightening in my stomach. I should have been thrilled for him, but instead, a sense of dread settled over me as I scanned the crowd for Arnold.

When I finally spotted him, surrounded by his teammates, the joy on his face was palpable, but it also felt like a world away. I tried to muster a smile as I joined my friends, but it felt forced.

"Did you see the way he played?" one of my friends exclaimed, but I only half-listened, my thoughts consumed with the conversation we needed to have.

As Arnold finally broke away from the celebration, he made his way toward me, a grin spreading across his face. But I could see the tension in his eyes, the way they darted around as if searching for something—maybe reassurance?

"Hey!" he called, his voice barely rising above the noise.

"Congratulations!" I managed to say, forcing cheerfulness into my tone, even as frustration simmered just below the surface.

"Thanks," he replied, and I could hear the tension in his voice. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," I said, my heart sinking as I felt the unease between us grow.

We stepped away from the crowd, the roar of celebration fading into a distant murmur, leaving us in a bubble of anticipation and anxiety. I knew we needed to address the argument we'd had before the tournament, the unspoken words hanging between us like a heavy fog.

"Stella, I know things have been tense between us," he began, searching my face for understanding.

"Tense?" I echoed, my voice sharper than I intended. "You think that's all it is?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he said, frustration creeping into his tone. "But this tournament was important to me. I thought you understood."

"Understood? Arnold, it feels like you don't even see me anymore! It's all about your hockey career, your victories, and I'm just here waiting for you to come back!" My heart raced, anger bubbling up as I confronted him.

"That's not fair!" he shot back, his voice rising. "I'm trying to build a future here! For us!"

I felt my chest tighten, and the words spilled out before I could stop them. "Maybe it feels that way because it is! You're leaving in a few days. What future are you even thinking about?"

"Maybe I'm trying to create a future where I can provide for us!" he replied, frustration evident in his tone. "But you make it impossible sometimes! Every time I mention the tournament, you act like it's a death sentence for us!"

"Maybe it's because I feel like I'm losing you!" I yelled, my emotions boiling over. "Every time you talk about your future, it feels like you're just planning a life without me!"

"Stella, stop!" He stepped closer, desperation etched on his face. "You know that's not true! I want you in my life, but you have to trust me. Trust that I'll make this work."

Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. "I want to believe you, but it's hard when you keep shutting me out. It's like you think I can't handle what you're doing. You never even ask me how I feel about any of this!"

"Maybe because I don't want to drag you into my chaos!" he fired back, his words hitting me like a slap.

"Chaos? So I'm just a burden to you? And it's just a summer and that's it?" I retorted, my voice trembling with hurt. "Is that how you see me?"

"No! That's not what I meant!" he exclaimed, stepping back as if he'd been burned. "But I don't want to put you through more pain while I'm trying to figure this out."

"Figure what out? Your life without me?" I shouted, frustration boiling over. "Because right now, it feels like you're just fine with that!"

"I'm not!" he said, his voice cracking. "I'm terrified of losing you!"

"Then why can't you just admit that?" I pressed, the hurt bubbling to the surface. "Why is it so hard for you to just be honest about how you feel?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you!" he confessed, the weight of his words crashing down around us. "I care about you more than anything, but it feels like I'm failing you every single day!"

We stood there in silence for a moment, the tension wrapping around us like a suffocating blanket. I felt the tears slip down my cheeks, and I swiped them away angrily.

"Maybe it's better if we take a break. If you need to figure things out, maybe you should do it without me for a while," I said, my voice trembling.

"Wait—what?" he stammered, disbelief etched on his face. "Stella, don't say that!"

"It's how I feel!" I shouted, my voice echoing in the empty corridor. "I need space to figure out what I want too!"

The finality of my words hung between us, a heavy silence settling in. I turned away, the weight of our argument pressing down on me as I fought to catch my breath.

I had just watched him achieve his biggest dream, but it felt like I was losing mine in the process.

As I walked away, I could feel his eyes on me, a mix of desperation and regret. I had never wanted it to come to this, but I couldn't shake the feeling that we were growing further apart, despite all our efforts to stay connected.

As the sounds of celebration continued behind me, I realized that no victory could ever fill the void that Arnold's absence was creating in my heart.