Umeed

Chapter 23

The next morning, Noor stirred awake, the light from the window blinding her for a moment as her eyes adjusted. She tried to sit up, but a wave of weakness held her back. As she blinked away the dizziness, she realized someone was holding her hand. Her gaze shifted to the figure beside her, and her heart sank when she saw Shahzain, his head resting on the bed, fast asleep.

Anger surged within her, but it was quickly stilled as she took in his peaceful expression. His face, usually so hard and filled with tension, was now calm, almost vulnerable. How can I hate him in this moment? she thought, frustration knotting in her chest. She wanted to hate him, she needed to hate him for everything he had done—for the way he had treated her, for the way their marriage had twisted into something painful and suffocating. But seeing him like this, her resolve wavered.

No matter how much I try... I can’t hate him. Noor's heart ached. She had loved him once—still did, in some deep, hidden part of herself. It was a love that had always been selfless, but fate had been cruel to them. Their nikkah had only made things worse, turning what little was left of their bond into a tangled mess of hurt and betrayal. Now, they were stuck in a marriage neither of them seemed able to escape from, and every part of it was suffocating her.

Noor's thoughts shifted bitterly to Ayesha. The woman who had raised her, the woman Noor had once called “mamma.” How could she have let this happen? How could Ayesha, of all people, betray her so deeply? Noor had already forgiven her once—for the time when Ayesha hadn’t believed her, when she had left Noor to be ruined in the worst way. She had only forgiven her because of the immense debt she owed Ayesha for raising her. That debt had never erased the hurt or the scars.

Even when Ayesha had apologized for months, even when her first heart attack had softened Noor’s resolve enough to speak to her again, the pain remained. Noor had made her peace with the past, but only because she didn’t want to live with regret. And now, once again, she had been played. By Ayesha. And by Azaan. Azaan, she thought bitterly. He, who had known the depth of her suffering, had still gone along with the plan.

The betrayal cut deeper than she could describe. Noor’s chest tightened painfully. She couldn’t forgive any of them—not Ayesha, not Azaan, and most of all, not Shahzain.

But she knew Shahzain. He wouldn’t let her leave. He wouldn’t let her escape this mess of a marriage. As her mind raced, Shahzain stirred beside her. Noor quickly closed her eyes, pretending to sleep, her breath catching in her throat. Shahzain blinked awake, his hand slipping from hers as he looked at her still form. After a moment, he sighed, standing up quietly and leaving the room.

As soon as he was gone, Noor sat up slowly, clutching her chest as if it could somehow ease the aching inside her. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she swallowed them back. What was she supposed to do now? Every choice, every path seemed to lead to more pain.

She felt trapped—trapped by her own heart, by the weight of her love for Shahzain, and by the crushing betrayal from those she had trusted most.

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

Shahzain got ready and came downstairs, his mind still heavy with everything that had happened. The weight of his actions loomed over him; he didn’t want to hurt Noor any further, knowing she needed space and time to heal. Trying to keep his emotions in check, he decided to ask Faris to check on Noor instead.

“Faris, go see if Noor is ready, and make sure she's okay,” Shahzain said quietly, his voice betraying his concern. Faris nodded and made his way upstairs.

When Faris knocked lightly on Noor’s door and stepped inside, he found her already dressed, sitting by the window with a distant look in her eyes. Her face still carried traces of exhaustion, but there was a determination in her posture, as if she was steeling herself to face the day ahead. Faris walked over with a soft smile, wanting to lighten the mood.

“How are you feeling, Noor?” he asked gently, his eyes searching hers for any signs of distress.

Noor gave a small, tired smile. “I’m fine, just... a little worn out,” she admitted, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She stood up slowly, steadying herself against the window frame. Faris watched her carefully, ready to step in if she showed any signs of weakness.

"Let’s go downstairs for breakfast," Faris suggested, hoping that the normalcy of the meal might ease some of her worries. Noor nodded, and together they made their way down to the dining room.

As soon as Noor stepped into the room with Faris by her side, the sound of quick footsteps echoed through the hall. Ayaan and Hoor rushed toward her, both filled with relief and excitement.

“Ammi!” Ayaan called out, his face lighting up as he reached her. Hoor followed closely behind, her eyes wide with concern but brimming with love. Ayaan, who had always been by Noor’s side, had spent the previous night with Faris instead of with her—something that hadn’t happened in as long as anyone could remember. The distance had clearly weighed on him, and he eagerly wrapped his arms around his mother, holding her tightly.

“I missed you, Ammi,” Ayaan whispered, his voice muffled against Noor’s shoulder. She held him close, her hand gently stroking his hair, finding comfort in his warmth.

“I missed you too, Ayaan,” Noor replied softly, her voice tender as she looked down at him, her heart aching slightly for the time they had lost.

Hoor, not wanting to be left out, ran to Noor’s side and took her hand, her eyes filled with concern as she looked up at her phuphu. “Phuphu, are you okay?” she asked, her voice soft but worried. Noor turned her gaze toward Hoor, her heart heavy with conflicting emotions. Hoor wasn’t at fault for the actions of her mother, nor for her father’s misdeeds against Noor. The child was innocent, and Noor knew she had to compose herself for the sake of the children.

“I am fine,” Noor replied with a warm smile, squeezing Hoor's hand gently. She wanted to reassure them both, even if her own heart felt fractured.

As they settled around the table, Ayaan, his eyes bright with anticipation, looked up at Noor. “Ammi, I’m hungry! Can you please feed me?” he asked, his voice a mix of eagerness and affection. Hoor, always eager to follow her brother’s lead, chimed in, “Me too, Phuphu!”

Despite her own weariness, Noor felt a rush of love for her children. She began to serve them breakfast, her movements tender and loving, even as the exhaustion weighed on her. It was a routine they had shared countless times, and in that moment, the warmth of their bond seemed to overshadow the turmoil swirling around them.

Shahzain, watching the scene unfold from a distance, felt a pang of guilt. Despite everything that had happened, Noor continued to treat his daughter with kindness. It made him feel even worse about his actions. Determined to correct his mistakes, he watched as Noor fed Ayaan and Hoor, the three of them laughing and chatting, the atmosphere momentarily lightening.

Faris observed the family dynamics with a mix of sadness and hope. He knew the home environment was messy, yet the children’s presence seemed to lighten the mood. As breakfast came to an end, Ayaan and Hoor finished their plates, their laughter echoing in the room before they dashed off to play, leaving Noor and Shahzain alone at the table.

After breakfast, Shahzain took a deep breath, steeling himself to approach Noor. He had so much he wanted to say, but as he moved closer, Noor’s eyes met his, and a look of unease crossed her face. She stood up abruptly and left the room, her heart racing.

“Noor?” Shahzain called after her, but she didn’t respond. Faris, sensing the tension, followed Noor, his own anger boiling beneath the surface toward Shahzain.

Meanwhile, Ayesha watched the unraveling situation, regret flooding through her. She realized how her plan had backfired, creating an atmosphere of anger and sadness in the home. Everyone seemed to be at odds with one another, and the realization struck her hard.

As the others moved away, Ayesha felt isolated in her regret, but then Sarah, her caretaker, approached her with a tray. “ ma'am, here’s the medicine Shahzain sir asked me to bring you,” she said softly, her voice filled with concern. Shahzain, despite his anger, still couldn’t neglect his mother’s well-being.

Ayesha took the medicine, her heart heavy. She knew she had caused turmoil, and now, as she sat alone, she felt the weight of her actions pressing down on her. In the silence of the room, she could only reflect on the consequences of her choices and the pain she had inadvertently inflicted on Noor and the children.