Umeed

Chapter 24

As the days passed, Noor enrolled Ayaan in the local school. There were still about 15 days left of the summer break, but she knew now that she was bound to Shahzain, no matter how much she denied it. She had no choice but to stay. Though she avoided speaking to anyone else in the house, she would still talk to Faris. Hoor and Ayaan were children—innocent and oblivious to the adult tensions around them—and Noor didn’t want them to be affected by the strained atmosphere.

Noor managed her bakery in London from afar, efficiently running things from here, but she knew eventually, she would have to go back to check on it in person. For now, though, she had no choice but to let it be.

The days blurred into a monotonous routine. Faris had returned to work now that Ayesha was feeling better, and Shahzain kept himself busy with his own work. Guilt gnawed at him, isolating him further from everyone. No one spoke to Shahzain, and he carried the weight of that silence heavily. Only Hoor and Ayaan would brighten his mood with their innocent chatter, unaware of the conflicts among the adults. Their laughter, their carefree presence, were a temporary balm to his pain.

Ayesha mostly stayed in her room, deeply saddened by the silence that had settled in the house. She didn’t speak to anyone either, not even to Shahzain. The nanny who used to take care of Hoor had left, but it hadn’t caused much of a disruption. Noor now spent her days caring for both Hoor and Ayaan. Hoor was overjoyed by this new arrangement, delighted to spend her time with Noor and Ayaan. The little girl was unaware of the complexities between them, and she affectionately called Noor “phuphu,” unaware of Noor’s real place in the family.

Noor, however, didn’t mind. She had always felt a motherly affection for Hoor, and now that they spent more time together, those feelings only grew stronger. Despite the fact that Hoor was Rania’s daughter, Noor didn’t let that thought sour their bond. To her, Hoor was a child in need of love and care, and Noor found herself happy to be that maternal figure, regardless of the complicated family ties.

The family dynamics remained the same in some ways. Ayaan still called Shahzain “maamu,” unaware of the true connection between them, and Hoor continued to call Noor “phuphu.” Noor, though hurt and angry, found a strange kind of peace in seeing Ayaan so happy and settled with the family. Her own fears and anxieties, however, kept her from fully letting her guard down.

Meanwhile, Azaan was left feeling heartbroken and anxious. Noor hadn’t contacted him in weeks and ignored all his calls. He knew he had made a terrible mistake, and now he faced the daunting task of soothing his furious sister and seeking her forgiveness. The guilt weighed heavily on him, but he was determined to make things right, even if it meant waiting longer for Noor’s anger to subside.

As the days stretched on, everyone in the house carried their own burden of guilt, hurt, or regret, but it was the children—Hoor and Ayaan—who unknowingly kept the flicker of warmth alive in the cold silence that surrounded them.

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

It was late, well past midnight, and the house was eerily quiet. Shahzain still hadn’t come home. Noor glanced at the clock—it was nearly 1:30 a.m. She had put both Hoor and Ayaan to bed hours ago, around 8:00 p.m., and Faris had come home by 10:00 p.m., exhausted from a long day. After dinner, he had quickly gone to bed. The house was now still, but Noor couldn’t sleep. Despite her anger toward Shahzain, she found a strange sense of peace only when he returned home and she knew he was safe. It was a feeling she hated herself for, a soft spot she wished she didn’t have, but one she couldn’t deny.

She waited, sleepy but restless, until finally, at 2:00 a.m., she heard the sound of the front door opening. Immediately alert, Noor instinctively moved to hide behind the wall. She watched as Shahzain entered, looking weary. His steps were slow, heavy with the day’s fatigue. He saw the dinner she had left for him on the dining table, but for a moment, he seemed as if he wanted to ignore it and head straight to bed. Noor knew his day had been stressful. His job, his employees, everything seemed to get under his skin these days, making his temper even shorter.

Shahzain finally sat down at the table, his movements sluggish. As he absently glanced around the room, his eyes landed on a piece of fabric—Noor’s dupatta—that was just barely visible behind the wall. She stiffened, realizing he had noticed. Before he could come closer, Noor silently slipped back to her room. She didn’t want to confront him, not now. As she lay in bed, she scolded herself for caring, for still waiting up for him despite everything. But she couldn't help it. Somewhere deep down, she still cared for him, even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself.

Shahzain continued eating, his mind elsewhere. He knew it was Noor who had been waiting, and even though she was avoiding him, her small acts of care hadn't stopped. She still made sure he ate, still watched from the shadows. And he knew she was awake, even now, but unwilling to talk. He felt the weight of her anger and pain, and he had no one to blame but himself.

After finishing his meal, Shahzain made his way to the children’s room. He had been doing this every night, silently visiting Ayaan and Hoor while they slept. The guilt gnawed at him, especially when he saw Noor keeping her distance. He wanted to talk to her, to apologize, but she was avoiding him like a plague. And he couldn’t blame her.

Standing by the children’s beds, Shahzain’s gaze softened as he looked at them. He bent down to kiss Hoor on the forehead, her small face peaceful in sleep. Then his eyes lingered on Ayaan. The little boy was now his son, yet Ayaan still called him "maamu," not "baba." Shahzain hadn't corrected him, hadn’t told him the truth. It wasn’t the time, not yet. Noor had kept so many things buried, and he knew she wasn’t ready for Ayaan to see him as a father figure. And truthfully, Shahzain didn’t want to anger her more by forcing the issue. But it tugged at his heart.

As he looked down at Ayaan, he felt the conflict within him. When he had married Noor, it had been under the pretense of keeping her close to the family, of stopping her from leaving. But deep down, he knew it was more than that. He needed her. Four years ago, when he first felt something for her, he had called it pity, sympathy for the young girl who had lost her family. But it was more than that, and now he couldn’t deny it. Noor had brought him a kind of joy he hadn’t felt since his father’s death. She had made him laugh, made him feel alive, even if she was much younger.

Now, in his desperation to keep her close, he had forced her into a marriage that was breaking them both. He hated himself for it. But he couldn’t lose her. The bond they shared, though damaged, was still there, and only Noor could bring him the peace he longed for. He wanted to repent, to ask for her forgiveness, but Noor refused to even look at him.

Sighing, Shahzain kissed Ayaan’s forehead, lingering a little longer this time. He would wait. He had no choice. But the longer Noor avoided him, the more it hurt, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep his distance.

With one last look at Hoor and Ayaan, Shahzain quietly closed the door to their room and made his way to his own. His mind was far from at ease, swirling with questions that had plagued him for months. Who was Ayaan’s father? Where was he? And why had Noor never spoken about him, not to anyone? She had always been so secretive about Ayaan’s past, never mentioning where she had met his father or what had happened to him. It gnawed at Shahzain, the mystery that surrounded Ayaan’s origins. But Noor had built walls around that part of her life, and Shahzain didn’t know how—or even if—he could ever break them down.

Once in his room, Shahzain changed into his nightclothes, his thoughts still circling. He lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The day had been exhausting, physically and emotionally, but sleep didn’t come easily. His mind kept drifting back to Noor, to Ayaan, to the questions he couldn’t get answers to.

Noor had been in his life for years now, yet there were still so many things about her he didn’t know, so many parts of her she kept hidden. And then there was Ayaan—the little boy who had unknowingly become a part of his heart, yet whose father remained a shadow in Noor’s past. Shahzain couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him. Was he still alive? Did he even know about Ayaan? Or had Noor been left to raise him all on her own, forced to carry the burden of single motherhood in silence?

These questions weighed heavily on him as he settled into bed, but there were no answers. Noor wouldn’t talk to him about it, not now, and perhaps not ever.

As his eyes finally began to close, Shahzain let out a long, tired sigh. The day had been long, and the guilt he carried made it even longer. But now, at least for a few hours, he could rest. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges, and the questions—about Noor, Ayaan, and their future—would still be there, waiting for him. But for now, he allowed himself to drift off into a restless sleep, his mind still haunted by the unknown.