Passion and Pain | rafe cameron

chapter seven

my eyes open. it's freezing. i'm laying on the cold hard floor of my bathroom with my same party outfit on.

my head is pounding and my body aching. the memories of last night hit me hard as i open the bathroom door slowly to see sarah and kie sleeping on my bed with the door locked. my leg has become less sensitive but it still hurts to walk on slightly especially without having taken my last couple doses of medicine.

rafe's actions last night made me crawl in my skin. i had never seen that coked up side of him. i had never thought he would be capable of making me feel so vulnerable and scared.

i make my way downstairs witnessing the massive mess of the house with solo cups everywhere along with many people passed out on the living room floor with one person sleeping on the kitchen island. i reach the medicine cabinet and take my pills and eat a banana as i walk back upstairs, change into pajamas and crawl into my bed with my best friends.

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my eyes flutter open as the sound of someone banging on the door is ringing through my head. it makes me jump and i can feel my friends along side me do the same.

sarah gets up and walks over to the door and cracks it open slightly. i'm facing away from the opening but i can tell who it is from their voice.

"let me in", i hear rafe say in a low voice. "why are you guys all in here?".

i can feel my heart begin to race. kie must have noticed the change in my breathing as she turns around in her position to wrap an arm around me.

sarah sounds angry, "get the fuck away from us rafe, you fucking perv". she is failing at her attempted whisper. i can tell she tries to shut the door but it does not work. he cracks the door open again proving he is clearly the stronger person and questions her, "did your bum ass boyfriend break up with you? why the fuck are in such a bad mood".

he seems genuinely offended by her anger and choice of words.

i can hear him push open the door, kie and i jump and turn to watch sarah struggle to keep him out.

rafe charges into the room and looks confused when he sees me shaking in my bed while kie tries to comfort me. "why are you guys acting like this?", he asks.

sarah looks offended, she slaps him in the shoulder and yells at him to get out. he's confused again. he looks different than last night. he looks as how he usually does, last night he looked like a monster with red eyes and no heart. his body language now makes me feel more relaxed, he looks scared at the way he made me feel barging into the room.

sarah slams the door as she follows him into the hallway. all we can hear are muffled words until rafe's shouting breaks through. "i didn't do shit, you're fucking crazy you know that sarah".

that's the only thing i can make out until we hear rafe's door slam shut as sarah opens my bedroom door.

sarah walks inside red faced and out of breath. "i can not believe him", she mutters to herself.

no words come out of my mouth as my mind is racing with questions.

kie asks, "what did he say?". we're sitting up in my bed now, our backs up against the headboard. kie places a hand on my thigh to comfort me.

sarah looks at me as if to ask if it's ok to talk about. i nod. i want to know.

she takes a deep breath, "the bastard claims he doesn't remember anything from last night and that he would never put his hands on alex if she didn't want him to". she takes a seat on the side of the bed while still looking at me. she's is breathing heavily, clearly worked up from the situation at hand.

i don't even know what to say. the rafe last night was not the same rafe that i know. there had to be something else to make him act like that.

sarah continues, "is it more fucked up to say that i believe him". i know sarah and rafe rarely get along but sarah has never once showed that she wants anything other than the best for me.

sarah speaks up again, this time looking straight down at her feet. "i have to admit, i know he can be rough with other girls which is gross for me to say but i have always thought that rafe acted different around you alex. it's like he has a soft spot for you. i believe him when he says he doesn't remember that happening." kie and i look at each other. the only other person who knows about rafe and i, is kie. kie's eyes show me that she agrees with sarah's statement.

i know it's fucked up but i can't shake the feeling of his concern.

nobody speaks for a couple of minutes.

i begin, "i think i should go talk to him".

no one disagrees.

i walk over to my closet and grab a hoodie than i know is oversized and make my way out my bedroom door. i'm not sure what time it is but looking over the railing of the upstairs shows that the house is cleaner than when i woke up this morning.

i get to rafe's room and knock gently, he doesn't say anything so i open it slightly to see him fuming on the couch. he's sitting with his elbows on his knees breathing loudly in a fit of rage. he looks up to see me and softens.

i walk inside the doorway and close the door behind me. he stays in his spot and begins to beg, "alex please you have to believe me". he begins to stand up and walk over to me, cupping my faces with his hands.

"rafe stop", i manage to get out as my body is filled with shivers. "go sit down". he listens and returns to his spot on the couch.

i'm silent for a minute as i decide what to do.

"you have to promise to be truthful with me rafe"

he nods.

"explain to me what you remember happening last night"

he remains in his spot and says, "topper and i were fucking around and barry had dared us to snort as many lines as we could in a minute." he takes a deep breath, "i know it's beyond fucking stupid but no one understands the feeling. i remember you knocking on the door and i saw you in that hot outfit and everything after that is a blur". i take a step back towards him.

i believe him. it's a scary thought. that he was capable of being so violent to me. his eyes begin to water like he's about to cry.

i walk close to him and sit on his lap, he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in my shoulder.

he continues, "alex i need you to know that i would never do that if i was in the right mind. sarah told me what happened. i swear to you i have no recollection of acting that way."

he lifts his head up and looks at me.

i speak now, "i believe you rafe but if anything is ever going to happen between us again then coke is out of the picture." his expression switched from caring to offended. "that shit turned you into a different person last night, i was genuinely scared of you."

he sighs. he doesn't say anything for minutes.

i get up and leave.