Between The Line || EstWilliam AU

Fifteen

The room was filled with the low hum of chatter as the seniors gathered for what felt like one of the most important sessions of their high school lives before sitting their mock exam. Each student was handed a form—crisp and white, containing a few lines that promitting their future. The form was simple enough, yet heavy with meaning: 'Where do you plan to apply for university?'

Est stared down at the blank form in front of him. His pen hovered over the paper, unmoving, as a knot tightened in his chest. The usual calm and collected demeanor he wore felt like it was slipping away, replaced by an unease he rarely experienced. This decision was supposed to be straightforward, wasn't it? He had worked for years to get to this point, excelling in his studies, focusing on a future that had always seemed so clear.

Business. He'd known for a long time that he wanted to study business . The thought of it had always excited him, the idea of understanding how business work, interacting with others had become his dream, and he had worked tirelessly toward it. There was no question that this was the path he would take. But WHERE was the bigger question looming over him.

He could stay here, in his home country, apply to the top business universities in the region. That would be the safer option, the one that would keep him close to everything he knew, to his family, to William. William. The mere thought of him made Est's grip on the pen tighten.

Or, he could go abroad. California, the dream that tugged at the back of his mind for years. It wasn't just about prestige; it was about the opportunity to study in a different environment, to experience life in a new country, to push himself beyond the boundaries he had always known. The thought of it thrilled him, but at the same time, it scared him. And what scared him even more was the thought of how William would react.

Est's eyes flicked over the blank space on his form, his heart pounding in his chest. William was so dependent on him, whether he realized it or not. Even though his younger brother often acted nonchalant and rebellious, Est knew deep down that William needed him. He was the one who made sure he was taken care of when their parents weren't around. How would William handle it if he left? Would he spiral out of control without him? The very idea sent a pang of guilt through Est's heart.

The pen hadn't moved yet. He looked around the room. Most of his classmates were already filling out their forms confidently, chatting excitedly about their future plans. Some were staying local, others were aiming for international schools. Est had always been someone who took decisive action, but today, he found himself frozen in place.

A voice cut through his thoughts. "Est, what's up? Why haven't you filled yours out yet?"

He looked up to see his friend, Jamie, standing beside him, peering curiously at his still-empty form. Jamie was one of the few people who could tell when Est was overthinking something, though he rarely saw Est in such a state. Usually, Est was the composed one, the one with all the answers.

Est gave a half-hearted smile, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Just... thinking."

Jamie raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer, glancing down at the paper. "Thinking? You? You've had your whole life planned out since you were kids. What's there to think about?"

Est let out a small, strained laugh. "It's not that simple, Jamie. There's... a lot to consider."

Jamie crossed her arms and tilted her head, clearly unconvinced. "Dude, it's pretty obvious you can apply to any university you want with the grades of yours. You've always been the top student. So, what's the holdup? Just write it down."

Est bit the inside of his cheek. It wasn't the 'wha' that was difficult—it was the 'where' He stared at the empty space again, his mind racing. Could he really do this? Could he write down California? He's dream city? He knew if William saw that, he wouldn't take it well. Est could already imagine the conversation—the anger, the hurt in William's eyes, the betrayal he'd feel. William would never say it out loud, but Est knew him too well. He'd feel abandoned.

Jamie must've noticed the way Est's hand hesitated over the paper. "You're not... thinking about William, are you?"

Est's eyes flicked up, meeting Jamie's. He didn't need to answer. The look on his face said it all.

"Est, man... I get it. William's your brother and all, and yeah, he relies on you. But this is your future we're talking about. You can't let him hold you back."

Est sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's not that simple, Jamie. He's... complicated. And I'm the only one who's really there for him."

Jamie's expression softened. "I get that. But what's going to happen when you're both older? You can't stay here forever just because of him. He's gotta learn to stand on his own at some point."

Est knew Jamie was right. He'd thought about this endlessly—about how William needed to grow up, about how he couldn't keep holding his brother's hand forever. But knowing that didn't make the decision any easier.

"Yeah, I know..." Est mumbled, staring at the paper as if it would somehow fill itself out.

Jamie clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Look, just think about yourself for once. You've spent all these years making sure William's okay. But what about you, man? What do YOU want?"

Est was silent for a moment, his mind torn between the weight of responsibility and the pull of his own dreams. He wanted to study business, to push himself further. But the thought of leaving William behind felt like cutting off a piece of himself.

Jamie gave him a nudge. "Come on. Just write it down. You don't have to decide everything today, but at least be honest with yourself."

With a deep breath, Est finally lifted the pen. His hand hovered over the paper for a few more agonizing seconds before he slowly, carefully, wrote the word that had been on his mind for so long.

'California.'

He stared at the word for a long moment, the ink drying on the paper as if solidifying the choice in his mind. A choice that, once made, couldn't easily be undone. Est felt a mixture of relief and dread wash over him. Relief, because he had finally taken a step toward what he wanted. Dread, because he knew that when William found out, things would never be the same.

Jamie glanced down at the form and grinned. "There you go. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Est gave a weak smile, his heart still pounding in his chest. "No... not hard at all."

But deep down, he knew this was only the beginning of a much harder road ahead.