Between The Line || EstWilliam AU

Eight

William slouched in his chair, his cheek pressed against the cold surface of his desk. The hum of the classroom droned around him like a distant static—teachers explaining formulas, students whispering, pens scratching paper—but it all blurred together into an incoherent noise. He glanced at the clock lazily. Twenty minutes left until the bell rang. He sighed heavily, eyes half-closed, and let his gaze wander to the window, where sunlight filtered through the blinds in pale strips, casting soft lines on the floor.

In his lap, he held a pencil, idly sketching on the corner of his notebook. Not anything meaningful—just random shapes, lines, and doodles that spiraled out of boredom. His other hand tugged at the edge of his textbook, flipping through the pages he hadn't bothered to read. Math, science, history—it was all the same to him. Useless.

William glanced at the front of the room where the teacher, Mr. Lewis, was scribbling equations on the board. The man hadn't even noticed that William wasn't paying attention. None of the teachers did, really. They saw William as a troublemaker, a lost cause. He could feel their eyes when they glanced his way, the slight frowns and the unspoken thoughts behind their expressions. 'There goes William again, not bothering to try. What a waste.'

But none of it mattered. School didn't matter. The teachers didn't care about him; they only cared about their reputations, about making sure their students performed well enough to keep their positions safe. And the students? They were just as bad. All fake, all pretending to be perfect when, in reality, they were as messed up as anyone else. They smiled to his face, then gossiped about him behind his back. He knew they talked—about how he was a spoiled brat, how he didn't deserve to be in a school his parents basically funded.

William's grip on his pencil tightened slightly, his scribbles becoming more erratic as he thought about it. He hated school. He hated the people in it. But more than that, he hated how lost he felt in this place. No one here got him. No one understood how suffocating it all was.

Except for Est.

That thought made him pause. Est had always been there for him, always picking him up when he stumbled, always looking out for him. William didn't know how to describe it, but he couldn't imagine a world where Est wasn't right there by his side. His brother was everything. The only constant in his life. Est had been the one to spoil him, to give him whatever he wanted, and more importantly, to look at him with affection when no one else did. Est cared. Est listened. Est loved him, even when William made mistake after mistake.

But that day, after the principal's office—when Est had said he would leave if William didn't change—it had scared him. Really scared him. William could still hear Est's calm, serious voice in his head: 'I will leave, if I have to.' It had shaken him in a way nothing else could. Est never threatened him. Est never gave ultimatums. But now, for the first time, William felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, and if he pushed too far, he would fall.

He didn't want to fall. Not without Est there to catch him.

So, in his own way, William had tried. He had stopped the vandalism. He didn't skip classes as much, even though sitting through them felt like torture. He wasn't picking fights with the teachers or the other students as often either. But it wasn't enough, not really. He knew that. Est probably knew it too. William still wasn't doing his homework. He barely took notes. Instead, he spent most of the classes like this—tuned out, daydreaming, or doodling in his notebooks. He couldn't bring himself to care about schoolwork. It just didn't feel important.

William's thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on his desk. He blinked, looking up to see Mr. Lewis standing over him, arms crossed. The man's expression was as disapproving as ever.

"William," Mr. Lewis said, his voice low but stern. "Care to join the rest of us in today's lesson?"

William sat up slightly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah, yeah." he muttered, but he made no move to pick up his pen or open his book. Instead, he slouched back in his chair, staring blankly at the board.

Mr. Lewis sighed, shaking his head. "I've had enough of this, William. Either you start paying attention, or I'm sending you to the principal's office again."

William's heart pounded at the mention of the office, but outwardly, he shrugged. "Fine. Send me. Not like it'll make a difference."

The teacher gave him one more hard look before turning back to the board, clearly deciding not to waste more time on him. William exhaled slowly, the tension leaving his body as Mr. Lewis walked away. The threat of punishment didn't scare him as much as it used to. He'd been through it all before—detentions, warnings, suspensions. They never amounted to much.

But this time, the fear wasn't of the principal's office. It was of Est.

As he stared down at his notebook, the empty doodles staring back at him, William felt a tight knot in his chest. What if Est was serious? What if he really did leave? What would William do then?

He hated thinking about it, but he couldn't stop the thoughts from creeping in. Est was the only one who had ever been there for him, the only one who made him feel like he wasn't completely alone. Without him, William wasn't sure how he'd handle anything. The house would be too quiet, too empty. There wouldn't be anyone to cook dinner, to ask how his day was, or to laugh with him over stupid games on the PS5. There wouldn't be anyone to understand him.

The bell rang, jolting William out of his thoughts. He packed up his things slowly, watching the other students file out of the room. They were talking to each other, laughing, making plans for after school. William watched them, feeling a strange pang of envy. Not because he wanted to be part of their world—he didn't—but because they didn't have the same worries he did. They didn't have someone like Est who might walk away if things didn't change.

He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, heading out into the hallway. He passed by groups of students, none of them paying him any mind, which was just how he liked it. He was used to the whispers, the rumors about his bad reputation, the way people seemed to avoid him like he was some kind of walking disaster. And maybe he was. He didn't care what they thought of him. At least, that's what he told himself.

But as William made his way to the locker where Est would be waiting, that knot in his chest tightened again. He hated school, hated the people in it, hated the way it made him feel like he didn't belong. But more than anything, he hated the idea of disappointing Est. And yet, here he was, doing exactly that, over and over again.

He found Est standing by his locker, talking to one of his friends. Est glanced up when he saw William approaching, a small smile forming on his face. It was a smile that made William's chest ache with guilt.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Est asked, his voice warm as always.

William nodded, unable to meet his brother's eyes. "Yeah... let's go."

As they walked out of the school together, side by side, William couldn't shake the feeling that the weight of Est's words was still hanging over him, heavy and unspoken. He was scared—scared that one day, Est wouldn't be there anymore. And for the first time, he wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was time to start changing for real.

Because if Est left him, he wasn't sure he could survive it.