Between The Line || EstWilliam AU

Seventeen

Est sat at his desk, the soft glow of his laptop screen illuminating the otherwise dim room. The air was still, and the sound of the air condition above him was the only noise to break the silence. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, hesitating as he stared at the application form for the University of California. His heart thudded in his chest, the enormity of what he was about to do weighing heavily on him.

It wasn't just any university. It was THE university, the one he'd been dreaming of for years—the one that could offer him the opportunity to study business abroad, in California. It was a prestigious program, one that would set him up for life. But it was also far, far away. A different country, a different world. And that was what made his heart pound with uncertainty.

He exhaled slowly, looking at the blank fields on the form. His name, past grades, extracurriculars, personal statement—everything he'd worked for all these years was about to be laid out in front of the admissions committee. This was his moment, the culmination of countless late-night study sessions, endless exams, and the pressure he'd carried on his shoulders for as long as he could remember.

His hands shook slightly as he began typing, filling out the basic information first. Name: Supha Sangaworawong. Date of birth. Address. He moved on to the academic section, his fingers slowing as he clicked through the dropdown menus to select his grades. His GPA had always been strong, near perfect even, but there was something about this that felt different. Like it wasn't just numbers on a screen anymore—this was his future, his potential acceptance or rejection into one of the best universities in the world.

He paused, staring at his grades for a moment before clicking the next button. 'What if it's not enough?' The thought gnawed at him, a quiet fear that had been growing ever since he decided to apply. He knew he was a strong candidate, but California? It felt like such a long shot, like he was reaching for something that wasn't quite in his grasp. And then there was the other side of it—the thought of leaving everything behind. Leaving home, his friends... leaving William.

Est shook his head, trying to push the thought away. He couldn't let that distract him now. This was his dream. This was what he'd been working toward for as long as he could remember. He had to do this for himself. For his future.

He typed in his extracurriculars next: head of the science and math club, various volunteer projects at local companies. He had a solid record. He knew that. But still, a small voice in the back of his mind whispered doubt.

Finally, he reached the last part of the application—his personal statement. He had spent weeks perfecting it, rewriting it until it felt just right. His fingers trembled slightly as he copied and pasted the text into the designated box, his eyes scanning over the words one last time. The statement felt so personal, so vulnerable. It was a glimpse into who he was, beyond the grades and achievements. It was his story, and now he was offering it up for judgment.

The last step. All he had to do was click *Submit*.

His hand hovered over the mouse, a lump forming in his throat. This was it. Once he clicked, there was no going back. He'd be committing to this path, to the uncertainty, to the possibility of leaving everything behind. A knot tightened in his stomach.

Just as he was about to click, there was a soft knock on his door.

"Est?" his mother's voice called gently from the other side. "Can I come in?"

Est froze, his heart racing. He quickly minimized the application window, feeling like he'd been caught doing something wrong, even though he hadn't. His throat felt tight as he called out, "Sure mom."

The door creaked open, and his mom stepped into the room, her eyes soft as she glanced at him, then at the laptop. "Did you do it?" she asked, her voice calm but laced with concern.

Est hesitated, staring at the blank screen for a moment. His hands fell away from the keyboard, his fingers curling into his palms. He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to say it out loud because it would make everything feel so real.

With a heavy heart, he nodded. "I... I haven't clicked submit yet, but I've filled everything out," he admitted quietly.

His mother walked over, sitting on the edge of his bed. She didn't say anything for a moment, just watched him with that knowing look in her eyes—the look that told him she understood exactly how he was feeling, even if he hadn't said a word.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked softly. "You don't have to decide today, you know. You still have time to think about it."

Est let out a shaky breath, his eyes falling to his lap. "I don't know, Mom. I want it. I really do. But I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of everything," he whispered. "Of leaving, of not getting in... of what'll happen if I do get in. I don't know if I'm ready for all of it."

His mom reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, her touch gentle and comforting. "It's a big decision, Est. No one's saying it's easy. But you've worked so hard for this. You've earned the right to chase your dreams, wherever they take you. And you know we'll support you, no matter what."

Est nodded, but the weight in his chest didn't lift. He wished it were as simple as chasing a dream, but there was so much more to consider. His family, his responsibilities, William. The thought of leaving his brother behind felt like a weight pressing down on his heart.

But then he remembered why he wanted this in the first place. He had always dreamed of studying abroad. California was the next step in that journey, the opportunity he had been waiting for. He couldn't let fear hold him back.

With one final, deep breath, he pulled the application window back up on his laptop. His mother watched silently as he hovered over the submit button again.

"Are you ready?" she asked softly.

Est's heart pounded in his chest. He wasn't sure. But he knew he couldn't wait any longer. It was now or never.

"I think so," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

And with that, he clicked *Submit*.

For a moment, the room was completely silent. The screen flashed, confirming that his application had been received, and Est just stared at it, feeling both relieved and terrified at the same time. There was no turning back now. The decision was out of his hands.

His mom stood up and gave him a reassuring smile. "Whatever happens, you'll figure it out. We're proud of you, Est."

He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Thanks, Mom."

She left the room, leaving him alone with the quiet hum of the laptop. Est sat back in his chair, staring at the confirmation page on the screen. The waiting game had begun. In a month, he'd know whether he had been accepted or not.

He leaned back, closing his eyes and trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside him. All he could do now was wait, hope, and prepare for whatever came next.