𝙴𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚛 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 ★ 𝙾𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ★

𝒮𝓊𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓁 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

Trigger Warnings ⚠︎ : This story contains an attempt of overdose, and suicidal ideation. Please read with caution or skip to the next story.

If you are struggling with suicidal ideation please seek help

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The evening had passed in a blur. You weren't sure when the decision had truly settled in your mind, but now, it felt like an immovable force. The weight of your pain was suffocating, and the idea of relief—of quiet—was intoxicating.

You sat at the small desk in your bedroom, staring blankly at the bottle of pills in front of you. The prescription had been filled weeks ago, intended for something far more mundane, but now they held a much darker promise. Your fingers brushed lightly over the label, the cold plastic cool against your skin. The silence in the room seemed to grow louder, like it was pressing in from every direction.

A folded piece of paper lay beside the bottle, your handwriting scrawled across the top. The ink was smudged from your tears, the words barely legible to your own eyes anymore. It was the letter—your last words, though you weren't even sure if they made sense. You'd written and rewritten it several times, trying to explain, but it all felt so useless. How could you explain something that felt so vast and overwhelming, even to yourself?

Your hand trembled as you picked up the bottle, unscrewing the cap slowly. One by one, you began to spill the pills into your palm. They looked so small, so harmless—just tiny white capsules. It was hard to imagine that something so insignificant could stop the pain, could quiet the storm inside your head for good. But that's what you wanted. The endless noise, the crushing weight of your existence—it needed to end.

With shaky hands, you gathered the pills into a pile on the desk, the small mound growing larger as your breath hitched. The room felt colder now, as if the temperature had dropped several degrees in the few minutes it took you to dump the pills. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat sounding louder than the last.

You grabbed a glass of water from the bedside table, bringing it to your lips. The coolness of the glass felt strange, foreign, as if your senses were heightened to everything around you. You stared at the water for a moment, lost in thought, trying to gather the courage to take the final step.

This is it, you thought, your mind strangely calm despite the chaos inside. It'll all be over soon.

Just as you were about to lift the first few pills to your mouth, the sound of keys jingling in the lock sent a shock of panic through you. Your heart lurched as the front door swung open. You hadn't expected him to come home so soon. You hadn't planned for this. Your breath caught in your throat as the door to the bedroom creaked open.

Eric walked in, his usual easy smile faltering the second his eyes fell on you. His gaze flickered to the pills, the note, the water—putting the pieces together in an instant.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

His voice, usually full of warmth and laughter, was sharp—laced with something darker, something terrifying. The pills slipped from your hand, scattering across the desk, as his voice ripped through the air. The glass of water tipped over, splashing onto the floor, but neither of you moved to clean it.

In a second, he was across the room, grabbing the bottle from your desk and tossing it across the room. It hit the wall with a loud thud, the sound ringing in your ears as you flinched under his gaze. His hands were shaking, his whole body tense with a fury you'd never seen from him before.

"Are you—?" His voice cracked as he stared at you, his eyes wide and frantic. "What the fuck were you about to do?!"

You couldn't answer him. The shame washed over you, your throat tightening as the tears began to spill. You wanted to tell him that you weren't thinking clearly, that it wasn't his fault—but the words stuck in your throat like jagged glass.

Eric's hands shook as he grabbed your shoulders, his fingers digging in slightly, his grip almost desperate. "Talk to me! Damn it, say something!" His voice was loud, raw, trembling with emotion.

"I—I'm sorry," you managed to choke out, the words barely audible. The tears came harder now, spilling down your face, but Eric didn't let go. His eyes were wild with fear and anger, his breath coming in ragged bursts as if he couldn't breathe.

"Sorry?!" His voice cracked again, and he stepped back, his hands flying to his hair as he pulled at it in frustration. He paced across the room, his face twisted in agony. "You were going to—You were just going to leave? Without even telling me? Without even asking for help?"

He turned to face you again, his hands trembling as he gestured toward the scattered pills on the desk. "You were going to end it—right here, right now? And what the hell would I have done, huh? What if I hadn't walked in?"

His words cut deep, each one landing with the force of a hammer. You had never seen him like this before—so raw, so vulnerable, his anger laced with a kind of fear that broke your heart. His voice shook with the weight of his emotions, his body tense as if he was holding himself together by sheer willpower.

"I didn't know how to tell you," you whispered, the words spilling out before you could stop them. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to be a burden."

"A burden?" His voice was incredulous now, his eyes narrowing as his hands balled into fists at his sides. "You think that this—" he gestured wildly to the pills, the note "—is less of a burden than asking for help? You think losing you would've hurt me less than you asking me to carry some of this with you?"

He took a deep, shaky breath, his voice breaking as he continued. "God, babe, I'd carry the world on my shoulders for you if I could. But you—you don't get to just disappear. Not like this. Not without giving me a chance to help."

His words echoed in the quiet room, the air heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid. He was angry, yes—but more than that, he was terrified. His hands still shook as he reached for you again, this time gentler, pulling you into his arms as his voice softened.

"You can't scare me like this," he whispered, his lips brushing against your hair. "You can't. I'm so mad at you, but I'm also scared. I can't lose you. Not like that."

His arms wrapped around you tighter, and you felt the warmth of his body, the solid presence of him grounding you, pulling you out of the fog that had threatened to consume you. You broke down, sobbing against his chest, as he held you, his anger giving way to something deeper—something that ached with love and fear all at once.

"You're not alone in this, okay? I need you to hear me," he murmured, his voice shaking slightly. "Whatever you're going through, we'll figure it out together. But don't you ever, ever do this again."

You could feel the desperation in his embrace - the fear of almost losing you, the love he couldn't put into words right now. You leaned into him, sobbing quietly against his chest, as he held you close, his lips brushing the top of your head.

After a while, when the sobs had quieted and the room was filled with nothing but the sound of his heartbeat, Eric spoke again, his voice soft, almost broken.

"You're my whole world. I can't lose you like that."

"I'm so tired, Eric," you finally said, your voice barely a whisper. "I've been drowning for so long, and I didn't know how to ask for help. I thought you'd be better off without me."

Eric's face crumpled at your words, and he shook his head, his hands reaching up to cup your face. His hands shook as he held you, his thumbs brushing away the tears still falling from your eyes. "I can handle anything—anything—except losing you like that. You don't get to leave me like that. You don't get to make that choice without giving me a chance to be here for you."

You tried to look away, but Eric's grip on your face tightened, forcing you to meet his eyes. The raw emotion in his gaze made your chest ache even more.

"I need you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I need you here with me. And if you're hurting, if it's too much... then we'll get through it together. But I can't—" He paused, swallowing hard. "I can't lose you, babe."