Happy Hollandween

The Phone May Ring, But It's Not Being Picked Up

Peter stared at the ringing phone hoping the caller would simply give up. The ringing stopped for a second and sighed in relief. Until the phone rang again, cursing it, he picked it up and answered, "Peter."

"Hey, Mr. Stark. How are you doing? Doing great?" He asked. In a totally relaxed, not suspicious manner. "Did you disable a part of your suit?"

"No." He said quickly. Happy to be able to tell the truth. "Peter."

Peter's demeanor went up an octave, "I didn't." Hearing himself he cleared his throat and deepened it, "I didn't."

Stark sighed, "Did your friend disable a part of your suit?" Peter looked at Ned who just shook his head, mouthing no, Peter turned away, "Maybe, maybe, maybe," He said over the disappointment reeking from Stark, "but it kept making an annoying beeping noise!"

"The sensor you turned off just sensed when you were badly injured, bleeding, broken bones, that type of thing," Stark said with a deep sigh, "It's important and it also kept track of your vitals overall."

"And it was annoying," Peter said, "I have a broken leg and an annoying beeping in my ears? C'mon." There was a loud silence over the phone, Peter looked down to make sure he was still on call. Just as he went to say hello? Another sigh was emitted from Stark, "Peter, did you at least go to the hospital?"

It was Peter's turn for silence, "For what?"

"Your broken leg." Stark said. Peter's confusion deeped, "No, of course not. You can't go to the hospital every time you break your leg, have you heard of medical bills? Besides, they start getting suspicious."

Stark felt the white hairs growing as he slowly spoke, "Peter, I can cover the medical bills just go to the hospital next time."

"Okay, next time I break my leg for sure." Peter dismissed, knowing fully well he would forget and you can't hold him accountable for it if he just forgets. 

Stark didn't believe him for a second but added on, "Not just your leg, anything important."

Peter frowned, important? How important are bones to begin with? What else could be 'so' important, "Like what?"

"Anything, broken bones, if you ever get shot or stabbed." Stark said. 

"Mr. Stark, with all due respect, if I go to the hospital for those things every time I don't think they'll let me leave the hospital." And that's the last thing he needs to deal with, huge hospital bills and shocked doctors. 

Stark frowned, retorically said, "How often do you get stabbed?"

"Just the normal amount." Peter said confidently. Stark paused, "The normal amount?"

"Yeah, the normal amount," Pete confirmed, Stark held his head, "The normal amount is zero."

Peter shrugged, "Okay, well. Not that normal amount then," he said, "but like a superhero normal amount."

"Which is?" Stark asked. Peter had a feeling he wasn't going to like the real number to that question, and he couldn't just lie. Mr. Stark would never believe him. 

"You know I think I'm losing reception," Peter said, crystal clear, "oh yeah definitely, going through a tunnel, you there Mr. Stark?" Peter found a paper and crumpled it towards the phone's speaker, "Bad reception."

"Peter, you're sitting in your room." Tony said, looking at the suits trackers, the new one that was added into the software and the physical suit. 

Peter rubbed his neck, "And I recently installed a tunnel in my room. Bye." Hanging up, Peter sighed, tossing the phone onto the bed. 

Ned looked up from his laptop, "He found out about the suit?"

"Found out about the suit." Peter said, nodding. 

"Both things or-" 

"Just the part you disabled," Peter said, looking at his phone suspiciously. As if he'd get another call. The thought of Stark visiting to lecture him in person made him shiver, hopefully this lecturing thing stays on the phone. Away from Aunt May's concerned ears.

Ned nodded, "Good, was he upset?"

"I think so," Peter shrugged, "but it was more about me not going to the hospital. Like who can afford to go to the hospital every time a robber shoots them? We don't live in some fantastical world." The two paused thinking about aliens and wizards, but that doesn't necessarily count. 

"Exactly," Ned said, "wait, how often do you get shot?"

Peter sat down on his bed, "Just the normal amount like I told him."

"But that number is zero." Ned said, and he knows that is not the possible correct number for Peter.

Peter shook his head, "People get stabbed and shot all the time," his hands going up with his emphasis, "that number cannot possibly be zero."

"We're talking about reoccuring incidents, not one time offenses right?" Ned asked, Peter nodded, "Then that number is zero. People are not getting shot or stabbed as a daily thing."

"Well, we can't all be that lucky." Peter said. Ned shrugged, "So are you going to the hospital for the shot then?" Pointing at the new gunshot wound, Peter made a face, "No, I said next time. This happened before the phone call. It doesn't count."

"I don't think that's how it works," Ned said, in fact he's quite sure that's not how it works. 

"It's so how it works," Peter argued. 

"No." Ned said, shaking his head, Peter looked to MJ who was sketching something, "MJ back me up on this."

"You're astronomically wrong Peter." She chimed in, there's multiple things wrong about that conversation in general but she was not touching that with an eight foot pole. 

"That's not quite backing me up but okay," Peter said, flopping back onto his bed. His phone began ringing again, he looked at it, the caller ID was Mr. Stark. "How quickly can we put a tunnel in here so I can't get phone calls?"

"It'd be easier to block the number," MJ said, and Peter considered it, "But he'll just show up here." He whined. He just let it go to voicemail. It's fine. He'll pick up on the second ring. Second ring of the third call. 

Unless his phone blows up magically. He stared at it focused on blowing it up, but in the midst of it there was a knock on his window, he tried to pretend to snore for a second. Peeking an eye open he saw Stark crossing his arms, Peter sighed and got up. Next time he's fleeing the scene and chucking his phone in a river.