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Two days go was my first therapy session. We didnt do much she was just trying to get to know me better. She did give me homework though.
She told me to write down all the emotion I was feeling and explain why I was feeling that way.
So here I am, up in the treehouse writing down my feelings while drinking and smoking.
Sad- something's happening to me and I can't tell nobody
Angry- I'm letting these things happen to me but can't do anything about it.
Weak- I can't fight off the person that's hurting me.
Hurt- the person I had so much trust in is hurting me
Tired- of being controlled
Nervous- telling my moms what happened
My words don't matter- my sister didn't listen when I told her who was hurting me and how they were hurting 2 times.
I write down a couple the ones I can think about off the top of my head.
I had stole some liquor from inside the house or was it whine I don't know. But I stole some Taylor Port and Tito's. I know Tito's is liquor but what about Taylor Port.
I don't know but after smoking I drink a little bit of both just trying to feel numb.
I just might take this inside the house. I don't really like drinking but today I needed it.
I mostly smoked.
"Sayori!" I heard.
I sighed and came out the treehouse. I brought some weed from it and a cup of my drink.
I can already tell I will need more. So glad I brought a metal water bottle. Can't see shit. It's Sunday so it's family dinner time.
We are doing it at our house this week because last week we did it at my grandma house so then it just switches.
I missed thr Taylor Port and Tito's together go I know imma be fucked up.
I was already feeling tipsy and high ass fuck.
I made sure I didn't stumble. Once I made it to the back door I seen Candi. I sighed.
"Where the fuck did you go" she asked.
"Mhm" I struggled.
"Were you smoking" she asked. Now this bitch wanna act like a Godmother. She better get the fuck outta my face. For real.
"Yep" I said. I drink a little bit of the drink. I need some juice this shit.
I walked passed her and into the house I grabbed some cranberry juice and poured it into my cup.
