Nursery Nurse One Shots

Your mental health matters.

Notes- In honour of world mental health day. Contains themes of mental health issues and slight hint of suicide (nothing graphic).

''You know, if you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game show host.'' - Veronica Sawyer, Heathers (1988).

Vivian was in the middle of one of her favourite books, Death on the Nile, when she heard her girlfriend walk through the door to the study and clear her throat quietly.

''Vivian..''

Vivian set her book down at this and looked up, her attention fully on Siobhan. The blonde looked clearly nervous, and was playing with a loose thread on her sleeve. ''I want to talk to you.''

''Oh?'' It was common for Siobhan to be awkward in confrontation after the horrifying ordeal she had been through with Roger, and yet Vivian couldn't help but be concerned. ''I've never really done this before...but..'' she hesitated, looking at the ground.

''It's okay sweet, take your time.'' Siobhan loved every nickname Vivian had for her. Sweet, lovely, bon-bon. They were all positive things, things she didn't think about herself. And yet, the names were a reminder that Vivian did see her like that, she did see her as lovely and sweet. And Vivian wasn't leaving.

''Okay so uhm recently I've been feeling a bit down? It's probably nothing-'' Siobhan's words were rushed, and she never looked up from that spot on the floor once. Vivian quickly stood up and made her way to her girlfriend. Once she was there, Vivian gently took hold of one of Siobhan's hands and intertwined their fingers together. ''Siobhan it's okay to not feel great sometimes, it's not nothing. Your mental health matters.''

''But I have a good job, and the best girlfriend and a life some people would kill for now.'' A tear rolled down Siobhan's cheek. ''I have no reason to feel like this.'' Vivian gently wiped the tear from Siobhan's face, her thumb caressing the cheek with care. ''You went through a lot last year. And even if you didn't, mental health doesn't need a reason.''

''Are you not mad at me?'' Vivian looked at her with confusion and slight concern. ''Why would I be mad at you Bon?'' Siobhan sighed before looking up for the first time since this conversation started, her eyes meeting Vivian's. ''Because. You've done everything to create this safe, loving life for me. And here I am not happy. I feel so selfish.''

''Why do you feel selfish?'' Vivian probed gently, clearly concerned for her girlfriend. ''Because you try constantly to make me feel loved.. but sometimes at night, I get these thoughts. About how it would just be better if I was gone.. How you and Jamie would be happier without me and-'' she looked down once more, unable to finish the thought. Tears started to prick in Vivian's own eyes as she heard the woman she loved, the woman she'd literally die for talk about herself like that.

The black haired woman placed a finger under Siobhan's chin, gently guiding her to look up again. ''Siobhan listen to me. That's not true. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. You've made everything so much better and we would be so lost without you.'' Siobhan smiled a small, solemn smile at her words. ''See, I told you it was nothing.''

''No, it's not nothing sweetheart. You're allowed to feel down, you are allowed to struggle. I am just glad you're comfortable enough to come to me about this. I'm going to help you through these thoughts okay? You're not alone.'' Vivian planted a soft kiss on Siobhan's temple and wrapped her arms around her, causing the blonde to close her eyes and bask in the sensation.

''I don't deserve you Viv.'' she sighed, her eyes still closed. ''You deserve me and so much more Bon. Never forget that.''

''Thankyou. For listening. I feel a bit better now.'' Siobhan mumbled into Vivian's chest. ''I will always listen to you, Siobhan. I love you.'' she replied, planting another kiss on the top of Siobhan's head. She could hear Siobhan give a muffled 'love you two', which caused her to laugh softly.

The two stayed together in each other's embrace, finding comfort in the other's company. Siobhan felt lighter, as if talking to someone about her feelings, and the person listening without judgement lifted a huge weight from her shoulders. And despite what Siobhan thought, this didn't create a burden for Vivian or cause her to become uncomfortable. Because quite simply, Vivian cared. And people who care about you would never judge you for your mental health.

You're always valid. No matter how ''silly'' or ''small'' you think your problems are, you are allowed to feel. It's okay to cry, to be angry or upset. Life isn't about being happy all the time, it's about living it to the fullest. Also, If you ever feel yourself getting into a dark place there will always be people to help you, whether it be a professional, or simply a friend who cares. Your struggles should never be downplayed and if anyone ever does that, then that is their own insecurities. I love you all <3