Christmas at Joes

2. The Christmas Party

    The Christmas party was just for employees and a few regulars, Jolene, Jose, Rich and Isabella, Lupin and Lucy, Freddy and Sally, Miri and Red, and Joanna and myself. Destiny and Dex were back east spending Christmas with their kids. To provide entertainment for the party, we had decided everyone had to save one gift exchange to be presented at the party so we could all appreciate it.

Jose had prepared quite a spread, bacon wrapped shrimp, scallops, asparagus and dates. Jose is from the cooking school that believes everything is better wrapped in bacon be it animal, vegetable or fruit and I have to agree.

There were all manners of confections. The dates pitted and stuffed with walnut pieces and cream cheese were either wrapped in bacon or had been rolled in powdered sugar as had the Russian tea cakes. And of course, fruit cakes soaked in enough liquor to suit even Lucy's bobcat. And of course, more liquor and champagne than could possibly be consumed by the twelve of us. Even though we were all experienced drinkers. We ate, drank and made Miri do a few palm readings. After we were sufficiently fed and lubricated by drink and merriment, we began the present exchange.

The first exchange was between Miri and Red who had been casually seeing each other for the past couple of weeks. I'd love to tell you that Miri had sold her hair to buy Red a booster for his radio so he could be better informed about the sporting events he was taking bets on and that Red had sold his radio to buy Miri a new babushka to wrap her hair, but of course, you would recognize that as the plot to O. Henry's great short story "The Gift of the Magi." And besides, such sacrifice would be totally out of character for those two.

What actually transpired was that Red got Miri a crystal ball and Miri gave Red an IOU good for one free look into the future to find out the outcome of any sporting event Red chose. Both gifts were received with the appropriate amount of amusement.

The next exchange was between Jolene and Jose. Jose unwrapped his present from her with much fanfare, but when he saw the item which had been purchased from the local hardware store, he was a little puzzled until Jolene explained it was a peep hole to install in his door so he could tell when ICE agents were there. Jose chuckled, "We don't want any more alien abductions, do we?" Everyone laughed their agreement.

Jolene then opened her present from Jose studied it for a moment and began laughing. She went over and gave Jose a hug and then passed around the certificate that Jose had given her so we all could read it. In fancy formal lettering was Jose's promise to stop sheltering illegal immigrants. He knows how nervous it makes Jolene that he engages in this activity of questionable legality. She truly appreciated the gesture.

Lupin gave Lucy a shock collar for her bobcat so he could be more comfortable being around her.

Lucy rolled her eyes and handed him his present.  It was some kind of certificate. Lupin Read it, got a huge grin, and passed it around for us all to read.

"Don't worry, they promised to give her a snort of whiskey every now and then," Lucy assured Lupin.

The certificate was from the Reno wild animal park. It was thanking her for the bobcat she had donated to them. I think we all suspected it was a subtle invitation for Lupin to move in with her, since we all knew his excuse for not moving in was his fear of her bobcat. While Lupin is not bothered by bears or coyotes, he has an inordinate fear of wild cats like bobcats and mountain lions, no doubt stemming from the time he was eaten by one. At least according to one of his tall tales.

Sally gave Freddy a guide to creative writing. Freddy gave Sally a savings passbook showing what was for them a larger than normal balance. He told her it was the money he had raised selling his laptop and school textbooks.

"But don't you need those things for your writing," Sally asked.

"Not anymore. I won't have time to write. I've gotten a full-time job with the highway department. You can quit your job now and we can use that money to start the family you've always wanted."

Sally's very sincere thank you hug was accompanied by a barrage of kisses that left Freddy and everyone else smiling broadly.

Rich's and Isabella's gifts to each other were matching permanent tattoos. The tattoos covered their entire upper arms. The response from everyone at this reveal was an uncomfortable grimace. Rich and Isabella assumed the grimaces were empathy for the physical pain such elaborate epidermal etchings inflicted. Their goth personas pretended to take pleasure in everyone's discomfort.

In fact, our discomfort was more about the emotional pain we were all feeling. Everyone there except the two faux goths knew both Isabella and Rich found tattoos and most goth ornamentation disgusting. Unfortunately, each believed the other one was really in to the whole goth subculture. They were both maintaining goth disguises to hide their true identities. We all wanted to tell them but hadn't. We were hoping they'd eventually open up to each other. They'd both sacrificed their appearances and endured pain thinking they were pleasing the other. We all tried to act happy for them keeping in mind, it's the thought that counts.

Finally,I presented my gift to Joanna. It wassimply a note that explained my gift to her was the freedom to pursue hertravels; however, she wanted. I had beenpushing her to take our relationship to the next level for weeks now. I finally decided I was being selfish puttingmy dream ahead of hers. In the note Ipromised I would look in on her mother every week and when the time came thatit was necessary to put her in assisted living, I would pay for it.

"This is very thoughtful, but where would you get the money to pay for assisted living?

"I found a group of investors to sell the bar to. The money is rightfully yours anyway."

"But you love this bar. I can't let you do that. Maybe you should open my gift to you next." She handed me an envelope. I opened it and inside was simply a note with three words. It read, "THE NEXT LEVEL."

"Does this mean you are not going anywhere?

She smiled at me and explained, "I realized that you don't have to travel the world to find what you want. Sometimes you find that all along, it was just down the street."

Excerpt from O. Henry's Gift of the Magi:

"The magi, as you know, were wise men—wonderfully wise men— who brought gifts to the Babe in a manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones. And here I have told you the story of two who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the thing they cherished most. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said of all who give gifts, these two were the wisest. All who likewise give and receive gifts, they are the magi."

The investors who were willing to buy the bar, were actually Isabella, and Red. They were more than willing to cancel our deal saying, "It just wouldn't be Joe's bar if it weren't owned by Joe. You may remember from the introduction that I said, "My bar is for the truly wise and perceptive." Now, I hope you can see how wise and perceptive my patrons are.

The Magi and their stories are all around us, as I hope this collection of short stories has demonstrated. I have truly enjoyed being entertained and educated by the Magi on Wattpad. I hope they will accept this collection as my present to them for all they have given and done for me. This is my gift to the Magi. Cheers!