after hours. | r.c.

twelve

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THE STORM WAS raging by the time the twinkie finally pulled into the lot next to me. i muttered, "finally, fucking slow pokes," before slamming my car door shut and stepping out. i leaned against the side of my car, dress clinging to me and heels sinking into the mud. i probably looked like some deranged villain from a shitty horror flick, hair whipping in the wind, eyes narrowed with pure contempt.

lightning lit up the sky, thunder rolling in waves around us. i could see the pogues inside the van, but they just sat there, like a bunch of morons too slow to react. i stormed up to the window, peering inside to find john b staring back, surprised as hell to see me.

"val? what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, climbing out of the van with that stupid confused look on his face.

i forced a tight smile, glancing over his shoulder at the others, all looking pissed or miserable—especially kie, who looked like she was ready to rip my head off. "i drove sarah here. she's waiting for you," i said, flicking my eyes toward the hawk's nest.

he nodded, clearly itching to get to her, but i grabbed his wrist before he could take a step. "when this is over, john b, we're gonna need to talk." a sly grin slipped across my face as i watched him try to hide his discomfort.

"about what?" he stammered, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"mm, you know what," i said, pushing him along. "go on, lover boy." as he walked away, kie shoved her way out of the van, eyes blazing.

"you drove here?" she snapped, shoving me like she thought she could intimidate me.

"yeah, you got a problem with that?" i shot back, stepping closer to her. i wasn't about to let her attitude slide; two could play this game, and she knew damn well i'd wipe the floor with her if it came to that.

"you've been a shitty friend for years," she spat, crossing her arms. "you always choose the kooks over us. you've always been a traitor, val. you pretend like you care, but you don't give a shit about any of us."

i clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to slap that self-righteous look off her face. "get a fucking grip, kie. i'm here, aren't i?" but she was just getting started, her words cutting deeper with every accusation she flung at me.

"you ran back to rafe the second you could, didn't you? you're just like them. worse, actually. you think you're better than us, but you're just a parasite, leeching off whatever power you can get. you don't belong here. you never did," she sneered, her face twisted in disgust.

i kept my expression steady, but inside, i could feel the rage building, like a fire waiting to consume everything. i took a slow step back, lighting a blunt

 to calm my nerves, letting the smoke fill my lungs. this wasn't even about rafe or the kooks or any of the shit she was spewing. this was about her trying to tear me down because i wouldn't play by her rules.

"you're right, kie," i finally said, flicking ash onto the ground. "i'm not one of you. i'm not here to play nice or pretend like i give a fuck about your little 'pogue life.' but don't think for a second that you have any idea what it's like to be me. you have no clue, and you never will."

"your just fucking mad that your parents didnt help you out of the situation you desperately needed saving from. the drugs, self harm bullshit." she snapped. i felt like i couldnt breathe, now jj and pope know, but they know not to say anything about to me. but thats when i snapped, bringing my parents into this?

"you have a lot of nerve bringing my fucking parents into this kiara. you'll see. my parents were proud of me. your parents? god theyre on the brink of throwing you out. they think of you as a disappointment. that you chose the wrong life. that your not the child they raised you to be. a lying cheating slick bitch that doesnt do well in anything but following behind other people." i spat out, my voice raising as she stepped closer trying to push me. i gladly walked closer about to fucking throw hands but pope held me back. jj shoved kie back into the twinkie and i heard more arguing, this time it was from them, and pope went in too. 

i turned on my heel and tried to run away from the situation, like always.  but before i could take more than a few steps, jj slid out of the van, stepping in front of me with that cocky grin of his.

"you alright, shortie?" he asked, ruffling my hair.

i shrugged, shoving him off. "just peachy, jj. you know, another day, another dramatic showdown with miss sunshine over there."

he let out a soft laugh, but his eyes were serious. "she doesn't mean it, val. we know who you are, and that's why you belong with us."

"yeah? maybe i don't want to belong," i said, looking away. but jj wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a quick hug, and for a second, i let myself lean into him, just a little.

"you always belonged with us, val. you're just a little more complicated than the rest of us, that's all." he pulled away, flashing me a grin.

"nah, now i know what she thinks of me as." i tried acting as nonchalant as possible. "shes absolutely right though, before i ran, i was a kook- through and through, and it was disgusting. i dated kooks, fucked kooks, made friends with kooks- *i was a kook.* and then when i came back, you guys took me like it was nothing, like it was all the same before i ran."

before i could respond, a scream cut through the night, sending chills down my spine. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" it was sarah's voice, and every muscle in my body went rigid. i tore away from jj and bolted toward the hawk's nest, heart pounding as i raced through the trees.

when i got there, sarah was hunched over john b, tears streaming down her face as she clutched his limp body. my stomach dropped as i knelt beside her, feeling for a pulse. it was weak, but it was there.

"what happened?" i demanded, looking up at sarah, who was sobbing too hard to speak.

"topper," she finally choked out, her face twisted in anguish. "he shoved him. john b fell, and—" she broke off, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

rage flared up inside me, hot and violent. topper. that useless piece of shit. if he thought he could just walk away after this, he was dead wrong. i was going to hunt him down and make him pay for this, even if i had to tear apart the entire island to find him.

"stay with him, sarah," i said, pulling away. "i'll be right back." i didn't wait for an answer before i stood up, the adrenaline making my hands shake as i clenched my fists, imagining topper's face, his smug grin, and how satisfying it'd be to see it shattered beneath my fist.

jj grabbed my arm, pulling me back. "where are you going?" he asked, his eyes wide with worry.

"i'm going to make his life a living hell-," i snarled, trying to shake him off.

"not now, val. he'll get what's coming to him. but right now, john b needs you. we all need you." his grip was firm, holding me in place as the rain poured down around us, the storm raging on as if it were mirroring the chaos inside my head.

i looked back at john b, lying there on the ground, and felt a fresh wave of rage and helplessness wash over me. i was going to make topper pay, one way or another. but for now, i had to stay here, had to keep it together.

leaning against jj, i took a shaky breath and let the storm rage around us. there'd be time for revenge later. for now, i'd focus on keeping john b alive. and maybe, just maybe, i'd find a way to survive this mess, too.

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