Memories

Maps

"Well that was cute." I could hear the smirk in Nico's voice at the interaction he'd just witnessed. Having only met Nico when we were thirteen, he hadn't ever really caught a glimpse of Annabeth and me in our early days. "I knew you guys used to bicker all the time, but geez."

Annabeth laughed brightly, swishing her hand through the lake water. "Honestly, he was just so irritating at the time, I couldn't resist."

"All I remember, is that nobody ever told me anything and I was just confused the entire time." My words were entirely true. "I don't think I've ever been so confused for so long before... you and Chiron literally just spoke in code. And with everything else that was going on"

"Not the highlight of your life, I'm sure." Nico smirked as if remembering his absolute excitement at finding out he was a demigod. Gods, those early days with him were frustrating. "It's weird seing us so young though. I don't know - saying it is one thing, but really seeing how young we were. It's uncomfortable."

"Everything just seemed so much simpler back then," Annabeth shrugged. "No terrifying hell-pit trying to haunt everything you do." 

Gee, thanks for the reminder, Annabeth.

"So why this memory then?" Nico asked. "Didn't exactly seem very dark. Sad, maybe, but not dark."

Annabeth also turned her eyes to me, looking for the answer. 

"I dunno," I said. "But the conversation we had earlier just kind of reminded me of this moment. Even from the start, Annabeth, you've been reminding me that this isn't about the gods, but rather about us."

Nico chimed in, "But also that the gods have been fucking us over from the start-"

"I don't think that's exactly helpful right now." Annabeth cut him off abruptly, laughing nonetheless.  "Anyway, I feel like I needed that memoy - I feel soothed somehow."

I nodded my agreement. Maybe my brain just decided it needed a rest from all the trauma I was revisiting. Like 'here, we couldn't give you a proper happy memory, but have this one that isn't entirely soul crushing instead'.

That moment with Annabeth... we had never really talked about it, and the next day we had gone straight back to being enemies all over again. I wasn't even sure if Annabeth remembered this conversation. I didn't bring it up as a kid and as we got older, I kind of forgot, but... that conversation we had just seen... it was the now thing that held me together through those few days, before I really found some purpose in the quest.

Annabeth had really helped me to understand what it is I wanted. And hearing that she had gone through some stuff too... for the first time at camp, I hadn't felt entirely alone. Just hearing that she had believed me about the bolt...

Gods, that was the first time I had ever felt like somebody in the world had my back - even if we held a tedious dislike for each other. There was somebody out there who believed in me and thought that I could do something great. Even if she had teased me and insulted me and hated me, Annabeth had my back from the start.

That was a secret I had kept to myself for years: that without this conversation with Annabeth, I might have completely given up from the start. I likely would have rejected the quest, ran from camp and lived my life on the run (which surely wouldn't have been a long life). I had never told Annabeth, but from how she was looking at me now, I knew that she understood exactly what that moment had meant to me all these years.

"I didn't stumble across you by accident, you know?" She said.

"What?"

"It wasn't a coincidence that I just happened to find you hidden by the side of the lake hidden amongst a load of bushes."