Non Player Character

Chapter 9 - A Small Mistake

"Wake up, you imbecile!" Val's voice rattled my brain, jolting me awake.

I put a hand to my head. "What the hell, Val? I'm up. I'm up!"

"Don't speak. Think," Val replied. "Tara is still asleep, and your idiotic squawking will surely wake her." Val let out a mental sigh, making me cringe.

"I am being punished by some hatefully enigmatic universal force," she said. "It's the only explanation. What the humans call Karma, perhaps."

Was she talking to herself now? What the hell was wrong with her? Whatever was going on, I needed to fix it fast. If she decided to leave or went insane, she could scramble my brain in an instant. It may be nothing special, but I liked my brain intact and not leaking from my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my sincerity very real.

"I just finished that insufferable movie you told me to watch. Die Hard." She said the title with evident disgust. "Even my boundless mind can't comprehend how your fleshy potato of a brain could classify that drivel as a Christmas movie. I can only conclude it was some attempt at a joke."

Normally, I would vigorously defend Die Hard as a Christmas movie; however, Val seemed legitimately upset about it. "I'm sorry," I said. "I promise to..."

My thoughts were cut off as she mentally growled at me. My teeth rattled.

"That is not why I am upset," Val said.

I rubbed at my temples, groggy and confused.

"Are you listening to me, John McClane?" she asked.

I nodded.

Her voice came back calm and level, almost friendly. "Before I turned you into a Player, you asked me if the other Players would notice your new, non-NPC status. Do you remember that?"

"I recall."

"I said they wouldn't as long as you stayed under the radar and didn't do anything too out of character."

"You didn't quite say it like that," I thought sheepishly back to her.

Her electronic growl reverberated through my mind again. All friendliness was gone when she spoke. "Naming yourself after one of Earth's most famous action heroes IS NOT staying under the radar, you dunce!"

"It can't be that recognizable," I said. "You hadn't even seen Die Hard before!"

"I haven't seen Die Hard because I have taste. Unlike the millions of Kurskins that are here now."

Millions?

"Even some Dalari have watched Die Hard," Val continued. "I just told you they studied your culture and entertainment for decades."

"Maybe you should have told me that before I chose my name."

"Grr. How was I to know that you are so creatively bankrupt that you would have to steal a name instead of coming up with one on your own?"

She was pissed. "Okay, I understand the name is recognizable, but I don't see a problem. I won't tell any aliens my name."

"If one ever touches your hand and inspects you, it will be able to access your basic information just like you did with Tara. They will see your name, and they will recognize it."

"So what? John's a common name. It will just be a coincidence. Who cares?"

"NPC names are not randomly generated. The AI gives each NPC a unique and appropriate name. The system is beyond rigorous in its world design, and only Players can break immersion. It would be rather distracting to do a quest for an NPC named Elvis Presley, would it not? Tell me, John, would you feel immersed in a medieval fantasy world if you encountered someone named Darth Vader?"